I suspect that, much like you’re not supposed to have favorite relatives, you’re not supposed to have favorite personality types. One of the core tenets of type-theory is that no type is better than another. And yet … I do have some favorites. ENFJ, ENTJ, INFJ, INTJ, INTP, ISTP, ESTP, ENTP …
Strangely enough, it’s not necessarily related to my interactions with a type in real life. In person, I can find common ground with most personality types depending on the individual person and the circumstances of our meeting. So when I talk about my favorite personality types, it requires an addendum that I am friends with and like people of all types (for example, my best-friend-who’s-not-a-relative doesn’t fit any of the types I listed above).
Still, there’s something about certain personality types that is irresistibly intriguing. I know several ENFJs, and the friendship and genuine communication that can exist between them and INFJs is truly amazing. I love talking with INTPs and INTJs because their minds are so incredibly keen and they challenge me to really think deeply about things. And then there’s the ENTPs ❤
ENTP Type
David Keirsey, and many other type psychologists, describe the ENTP personality type as the “soulmate” for INFJs. Of course, type compatibility in relationships is much more complicated than that, but I can definitely see why. At least, I think I can. I haven’t actually met a self-confirmed ENTP in real life. I know a guy who is either ENTP or ENFP, and knew someone I think was ENTP. Other than that, my interactions with them have all been online. Although, if fictional character’s count, we all know some that are (probably) ENTP:
Jack Sparrow- Tony Stark (I wrote a post about him)
- Ray Palmer (we’re watching Arrow, and no one in my family understands why I like him so much)
- Eames from Inception
- Q from Star Trek
(note: there are female ENTPs, just as there are male INFJs. They’re just more rare, and hence harder to find.)
ENTPs are characterized by high energy, “compelling enthusiasm,” independence, their pursuit of possibility, a constant string of projects that command their attention, and being “startlingly clever” (Isabel Myers, Gifts Differing p.106-108). There’s individual variation within all types, and Isabel Myer specifically says that
“Extroverted intuitives are hard to describe because of their infinite variety. Their interest, enthusiasm, and energy pour suddenly into unforeseeable channels like a flash flood, sweeping everything along, overwhelming all obstacles, carving out a path which others will follow long after the force that made it has flowed on into other things ” (Gifts Differing, p.106).
INFJs and ENTPs
Maybe what Myers talks about in the above quote is one reason INFJ’s like ENTPs so much. We have plenty of ideas, but struggle with moving them into the real world. We want to make big contributions, but we have trouble putting ourselves out there. We want to pour ourselves into people, but have limited energy for social interactions. So the idea of partnering with someone who specializes in active idea exploration in a big way is very attractive. Please tell me I’m not the only INFJ who has thought it would be wonderful to be the Pepper Pots to someone’s Tony Stark? (note: I’m not typing Pepper as an INFJ, just using it as an example.)
Looking closer at the two types, we see similarities in their function stacks that also helps explain the compatibility:
- INFJ: Introverted Intuition, Extroverted Feeling, Introverted Thinking, Extroverted Sensing
- ENTP: Extroverted Intuition, Introverted Thinking, Extroverted Feeling, Introverted Sensing
Both types lead with Intuition, but use that function in different ways. Intuition is a perceiving process, which has to do with how we take in and process new information. It’s close enough for the two types to understand each other, but different enough to compliment instead of overlap.
The two middle functions for both types are the same, just in a different order. Thinking and Feeling are both judging processes, which means they affect how we make decisions and what we believe the world “should” look like. INFJs and ENTPs approach this in a way that is easy for the other type to understand, but they are strong in different areas.
Their inferior functions are both sensing, but one is extroverted and one introverted. Our inferior functions typically show up when we’re stressed, so having different inferior functions means that different things stress these two types out. That can be really useful if you want someone who can help you out of stress instead of getting pulled in with you. It’s also important that they’re not exact opposites, since types who use intuition as their inferior function can get stressed-out by dominant intuitives (e.g. an ISFJ who is stressed by change might find it uncomfortable to spend much time with an ENTP).
What about you? anyone else want to confess they have favorite personality types? 🙂
Like An Anchor 
We tend to idealize our inferior function and romanticize it, which means we’re often drawn to types that display that function in perfect formation — meaning, I’m fascinated with ENTPs. The 11th Doctor is the biggest ENTP ever. I adore him. Richard Castle is another one. Pete and Claudia from Warehouse 13 are both ENTPs. Fred from Angel. Etc. The pursuit of ideas, above all else. Novelty. Detachment from the environment apart from in the realm of the abstract. My inferior Ne loves a good Ne-dom. It’s an explosion of pure, unfettered, uninhibited ideas.
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Love 11 and Castle ❤ Keep meaning to watch Warehouse 13 …
Yeah — there's definitely something attractive about our opposite. I think my inferior Se is why I'm also drawn to ESTPs.
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I just found out the other day that my fiance is ENTP, and I am an INFJ. Although I understand that there are many other situations which take part in compatibility, I now fully understand how it is that my fiance and I have always clicked. We differ in many ways, but our core values and beliefs are very similar, which I attribute to what you were saying about some functions differing but some shadow the other. This is exactly how it is with us together.
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ENTP 7w8. But maybe a bit nicer than most such? Hopefully.
My 2nd wife was an ENFJ. We were together thirteen years. It was a good match, until it just didn’t work anymore. It appears I was one letter off. What you say makes a lot of sense. All of my closest people have been introverts or ENFJ’s. ENFJ’s are the only other E’s I get along with consistently well.
3rd wife? INFJ. You’ve sold me on the type.
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Interesting that two E’s were paired together. That can sometimes cause conflict, but it looks like you made it work for awhile. Yes, I too like ENFJs. They can be hard to type due to their complex nature, from what I’ve read online and from personal experience. BTW, full disclosure: I am one.
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I am ENTP, and I totally identify with Ray Palmer and Felicity Smoak on Arrow! One of my favorite lines from Oliver Queen about the two of them was when he said, “You know it’s possible you two are related.” And also Tony Stark. ENTPs are the type of people to build a super suit that can fly because others say it can’t be done, and then just get in the thing to test it themselves. And save the world with awesome tech and awesome quips. 🙂
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This post is really great. I’m an INFJ male, and I agree that men of my type and ENTP women are rare. Haven’t met an ENTP girl yet, but I feel like this post would ring true for me if I did 🙂
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Thanks for your comment 🙂 They do seem hard to find — statistically ENTP women should be less rare than INFJ men, but I’ve know two male INFJs in person and I haven’t met any female ENTPs yet (at least that I know of). Antonia Dodge from Personality Hacker is ENTP and it’s fun to listen to their podcasts where she talks about her type.
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Im an entp girl and i for one do not know any other entp girls my big sister is intj me and her get along very well 🙂
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Hey! Female ENTP here. Gotta say i’m very flattered by this entire post, my ego just got even bigger.
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ENTP girl here! 😂😂 I must admit that I love INTJ more than INFJ.
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I’m an ENTP female and now is in relationship with an INFJ male. Been almost 1 year, we’ve been along quite well with some arguments here and there, but other than that we’re very compatible. I met him in online game 1.5 years ago and decided to meet irl. I also have an INFJ female BFF and been along with her ’till now, 11 years already.
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Hey Girl INFJs,
ENTP male with a lifelong INFJ male-bff, a major college years INFJ girlfriend and now an INFJ wife. The most useful thing I can say is that from the begining I knew that there was “that different” thing that I thought was unqiue to my guy-BFF but somehow — very rarely — saw in love intrests too. For years, I chuclked it off to over active Ne attaching to a formative years pattern. There was a point though when I realized: what the [edited] am I doing with my life. Everything else is evanscent bullshit compared to this. Then I set about to settle for “that thing” and found my current wife within 7 months. 11 years later we have, two sons, few (non-fleeting) regrets.
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I am a female ENTP 🙂 interesting that we are supposed to be more rare than male ENTPs. I know a lot of female INFJs, and a guy I think may be an ENTP, but I haven’t interacted with many other ENTPs.
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As an ENFJ male, I am friends with INTJ and ENTP types. My older buddy from my last job is an ENTP and can be rather blunt at times. Very good with workplace politics and organizational structure info. He has had a number of professional and management roles during his career and has served as a mentor to me. I have learned a lot about the business world through him. Very visionary guy who can see through the nonsense of SJ bureaucrats at work. I am amazed at how accurately he predicted some of the changes we experienced. I was recently interviewed by an ENTP last week and his questions were definitely spot on for his type. Typically, interviewers use the same routine behavioral SJ written questions that are somewhat predictable, but this guy truly thought “outside the box” and caught me off guard. Once I realized his mindset, I became more alert for his unusual questioning techniques.
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I’m an ENTP, and my best friend since fourth grade is an INFJ. Yet at the same time, it’s become harder to be friends with them because they NEVER share their feelings. I can tell they have them, unlike me, but they just refuse to ever accept the fact that they do (or at least admit it). My best friend recently is actually an ENFP.
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We INFJs can be really private with our feelings, but an INFJ not admitting they have feelings at all (especially to a good friend) seems odd. Makes me think something else might be going on, though I couldn’t speculate what.
ENFPs are so much fun! I enjoy being around them and sharing ideas with them (though sometimes they exhaust me. Where do they get all that energy?!).
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Love Love Love my ENTP husband! (Im INFJ) we were highschool sweethearts and have been together 15yrs now. I knew him as a friend first and just thought he was really funny, but I fell in love when I learned how deep his thinking truly was and how full of wisdom he was; a side of himself that he never shared with anyone except me. To this day, no one understands me like he does…like we have a psychic connection.♡
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Awwww … that’s so sweet ❤
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I am a INFJ husband to my ENTP wife of almost 20 years and I will say out of all the people I have known she is the best person I could have married. I am constantly and fleetingly attracted to free spirited artist types or other “spiritual” types like myself but I can easily see why any relationship with those people would be doomed to failure. My wife just complements me so well and when we get each other it is great.
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Female ENTP right here! By the way, thinking that I am similar to someone like Ray Palmer or Tony Stark makes me very happy!
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This is joining the party a little late, but wondering if things have changed for you Marissa? Have you met any ENTP chicks or found a great ENTP guy yet? I’m an ENTP, just out of a relationship with an INTJ. This is a great combo. in fact, the best I’ve experienced so far. But, there were some things that made the relationship pretty difficult too, such as his anxiety levels. Anyway, a guy friend of mine is an INFJ, and I find him very interesting and somewhat mysterious. He is also coming off of a recent breakup. I would be into dating him, but he’s about 5 years younger (although, it doesn’t feel that way when we’re together), and I don’t think it would be a good idea in case he is the type to rebound. But, I also don’t want to miss the opportunity, if there is one. Haha! I wonder if you have any thoughts or intuition about this?
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I still haven’t met any ENTP women in-person (though several online) and I’ve actually found a great ENFP guy that I’m currently dating (which is a great combo for us: https://marissabaker.wordpress.com/2017/09/11/dating-your-mirror-enfp-and-infj-relationships/ I image it’s somewhat similar to how an ENTP and INTJ would interact).
I don’t think 5 years is too much of an age gap. And I’ve no problem with dating relationships where the guy is younger than the girl (my boyfriend’s a year younger than me). But with the recent breakup my gut instinct is to give it some time. Maybe just keep building the friendship for now and see where it goes? And if you do decide to pursue that relationship, I just released an INFJ dating guide you might like: https://marissabaker.wordpress.com/2017/09/18/want-to-date-an-infj-heres-15-things-wed-like-you-to-know/
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I am an ENTP. My current relationship as well as a surprisingly high percentage of past relationships have neen with INFJ. If I begin pursuit of a lady online (which is way more often than not because I’m a very shy extrovert until my charm has you craving the intensity that used to make you skeptical) I always go into great detail and paint a realistic picture of myself complete with humor, humility, and my intentions of building a healthy trust and respect so that we may adequately explore a full spectrum of physical, mental, perhaps spiritual artistry.. Those who reply positively are often INFJ. I like y’all.
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What you said about “craving the intensity that used to make you skeptical” made me laugh. It’s so true! That’s exactly what happened with me and my ENFP boyfriend — I found his intensity intimidating when we first met and now a few years later it’s one of the things I love about him
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Hi. I’m an ENTP, but reading this made me question how well ENTPs and INFJs really fit together. One trait of INFJs is their extroverted feeling, which is good in the sense that I don’t have to guess what she (I’m male) feels, but feelings “generally” confuse me (maybe because my E % compared to I is only 55 – 45).
So if I’m around a person who (kinda) always let’s me know her feelings (by nature), then I think that this could be pretty nerv wrecking over time.
I don’t really care about feelings too much, not about my own and not about the ones from others, so always “knowing” the feelings of the SO could be a barrier.
However, I’ve never met an INFJ before (afaik), so I can’t prove my theory.
If there’s a (female?) INFJ out there willing to find out (together), then reply here, I’ve set the tick for email notif. when somebody replies. The sentence before this one lowkey was weird af.
LG
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I think it’s worth noting that INFJ’s Extroverted Feeling generally makes them better at picking up on other people’s emotions than dealing with their own. Not every INFJ will constantly express their emotions, and even the ones who do might not always understand exactly what they’re feeling or why. It really depends on the individual INFJ, how private they are, and how comfortable they are with their own feelings.
Similarly, some ENTPs will be more comfortable with feelings than others are. There’s plenty of variation within personality types, which will affect how well individuals get along together even if their types “should” be compatible. So if you were to meet several INFJs, you might find that some are nerve wrecking for you and others aren’t.
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ENTP women here.
I love INFJs ❤
My ex was an INFJ we dated for three years and broke up because of me moving away but I don’t think I could ever get over him and I hope at some point we will get back together.
It’s just undeniable connection from the very start. I feel like he was the only person that understood me and I think I understood him pretty well too. I always wanted him to be happy and cheered him up and he was always there for me through the times when I struggled with my emotions. I’ve never loved anyone as much as I love him and I trusted him more than I trust my family. I think the only problem was sometimes I felt like he’s not having the same arguing style and detaches when I do sth wrong while I just like the say it out loud but we talked about it and worked on it. We’re still friends occasionally texting and when I’m in the country I see him but he’s dating someone new 😥
I hope to find a new INFJ; after him I started seeing INTP for few months but it simply wasn’t the same the emotional connection wasn’t on the same level and even though I’m a thinker it’s very important for me to have a special bond with this one very dear to me person. INTP felt a bit too cold for me.
And also I agree I think it’s really hard finding INFJ males and also ENTP females I always feel like I don’t belong and it’s hard for me to make friends sometimes. Most of my friends are infp/intp/intj/entp guys.
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