I’ve often seen INFJs described as an intensely spiritual type. Yet a little while ago, in an online INFJ group, someone posted that most INFJs are atheist or agnostic. Being a type that appreciates truth, someone else set up a poll trying to see if that was really the case.
It’s a small, volunteer sample group, but the results were interesting. 36% identified as atheist, agnostic or non-religious. That’s the same percentage that identified with a Christian religious sect. The remaining 28% identified as “spiritual” or with a non-Christian religion.
INFJs approach religion much like we approach everything else: with an open, inquisitive mind looking for patterns, especially those relating to people. Our relationship with spirituality largely depends on how we were raised and the direction our lives took from there. But it also depends on our journeys of personal growth, how the religions we encounter line-up with our convictions, and whether or not faith “makes sense” to us.
The Hypocrisy Factor
Many INFJs I’ve seen talking about being non-religious started out in a church of some sort and then left. As with many people who leave churches, hypocrisy is often cited as the reason. INFJs are exceptionally good at detecting deception. We can read people well and pick up on inconsistencies in their patterns of behavior very quickly. At the same time, we want to believe the best of people and it can take a long time for us to admit someone who we value would betray us.
When we do “wake up” to deception or decide we’ve had enough, the reaction is typically quick and decisive (hence the INFJ door slam). A hurt, disillusioned INFJ might door slam the people who betrayed them, religion itself, or even God. Some shift to a different religion that lines-up with their core values. Some maintain a sense of spiritualism without any sort of structure that could qualify as “religion.” Others reject religion entirely.
It Has to Make Sense
INFJs are rarely described as “sensible.” But even at our most otherworldly and abstract, we want things to make sense to us. It doesn’t have to fit anyone else’s way of thinking, but it has to fit the INFJ. We don’t appreciate self-deception any more than we do having someone else mislead us.
If an INFJ’s religious beliefs don’t fit into how they believe the world works, they won’t be happy. Religion should make the world make more, not less, sense to an INFJ. If it doesn’t, they’ll find another explanation (typically turning to science and rational thinking, perhaps blended with spirituality).
INFJs are content with recognizing not everything can be explained in a logical fashion, but they want their beliefs to fit with the explanations they have. If we put our faith in something larger than ourselves, we want it to answer questions for us and be a safe place to ask more questions about life, the universe, and everything.
Why Some of Us Stay
INFJs seek connection to something larger than ourselves, and many of us do that within a spiritual belief system. We often find belonging in an established religion, but it’s also an INFJ thing to walk out your own beliefs in your own way. The more mature, confident, and comfortable with themselves an INFJ is, the more they’ll “do their own thing.” It’ll be in a peaceful, respectful, and non-confrontational fashion (unless you try to hurt an innocent or cross us on a deeply held principle), but we will stay true to our convictions.
Personally, I hit a point in my late teen years where I nearly walked away from organized religion. I think a large part of why I didn’t was that my family always encouraged developing a relationship with God independent of any church group. But they also taught me that fellowship with other believers is important and I shouldn’t blame God or good people for the actions of the bad apples in any given group. Over a few rather trying years, both those things became part of my personal beliefs rather than just something I’d been taught. At the same time, my faith in God deepened and became so much a part of who I am that I define myself as “Christian” before anything else, including INFJ.
I’m sure many religious INFJs have a similar story. There was a point where you had to decide what you believed and how you were going to live your life, regardless of what other people thought, said, or did. If you’re happily, devotedly attached to a faith it’s likely because it has become part of your core identity.
Your turn …
What about you? What has your religious and/or spiritual journey as an INFJ (or any other type who wants to weigh-in) looked like?
If you’d like to know more about the INFJ personality type, check out my book The INFJ Handbook. I just updated it with a ton of new information and resources. You can purchase it in ebook or paperback by clicking this link.
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Having very “not positive” experiences with organized religion, I am not a fan… for myself. Others find it comforting and helpful and I’m glad they have it. I can’t say whether there is a higher being or not. I can say it doesn’t matter to me as I don’t feel it relates much to me and my life. However, I do acknowledge that I feel a sort of life and maybe even awareness seems to thrum through the world around me and I want there to be magic in everything. I “adopt” broken things and the “lasts” of stuff like the last of a certain kind of stuffed animal on a shelf or a stuffed bear my husband brought me because it had no nose and he was sad for it and because it would probably end up in the trash and not even recycled because someone else me a mistake in building him. I didn’t fix it though because I also didn’t want to send the message to any of the others that he wasn’t perfect just as he was. For me, organized religion very much valued conformity and I can’t do that. I am good just like this. I feel that as long as I love as many and as much as I am able and try very hard to do the right thing and be a good person, no higher being that makes any sense to me could possibly find fault with that. Also, like I care. Plus, while I am glad to have friends who seem to tolerate and expect my weirdness and I talk a mile a minute, just a good hug from one person who just loves me and will let me do my own thing works much better for me. The talking, btw, is called “pressured speech”.
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After many years of living a lie I walked away for a long long time Ive tired to go back to organized religion but as Ive understood my self more as an INFJ the more i find way to many inconsistencies in what is taught and what is lived at this point in time me and God have taken a vacation ………. apart I need to work out just what i want where i want when I want and with whom till then Ill wait
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My religion makes sense, and it goes much deeper than most are willing to delve. The Catholic faith is about that inexplicable mystery that is known by being felt by the heart rather than understood by the mind. As a INFJ I find that sometimes I know things, but I don’t always know exactly from where. I don’t generate this knowledge and insight by myself, it’s a gift given to me, and others by a power that puts things in their proper place in the Universe, God. I’m sorry there are people out there who feel hurt and betrayed by religion, but geez, look at the big picture. Was it Christ who let you down, or was it people? As a INFJ, you should sense hypocrites — don’t let them hurt you.
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I’m an infj and I’m Muslim, Islam really make sense and more logical and I find that is the ultimate truth
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I am INFJ and Catholic. I think INFJs should really give traditional Catholicism (Latin mass and all) a chance, I think they’d find it very satisfying and fulfilling. A lot of INFJs shy away from the whole idea of organized religion, but I think a lot of it is due to fear of the “human” element in any institution that can lead to tyrannical wielding of power or herd-like mentality in followers, and these are understandable concerns. But I don’t think that should lead to a total rejection of hierarchy itself, which I have come to think is the foundation of any functional system. Also at the heart of Catholicism is a deep and complex mystery that my Ni is never tired of contemplating. It’s a religion that comes equipped with a rich theological tradition to delve into as well as a much needed “grounding” in sacraments, physical rituals and cyclic recurrences that help the Se develop. Also, I’ve found the Eucharist to be an amazing help in fostering Ni-Se harmony (the divine being literally eaten and processed by the body) and helping me connect more to physical reality. It’s just all around very good. I recommend INFJs give it a chance.
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As a INFJ ive experienced many ups and downs with christianity, with my faith. But ive come to realize that it was never about me, its about God. He created this rare personality for a very good reason, embrace who you are and walk a path with God and see how your flaws can become your greatest strengths.
You will always be looking for something deeper, a deeper meaning to life until you realize how strong you can become in God. God is all about love, compassion towards others, God wants us to grow as humans, to take that bad side of us and turn it into something good.
Ive always seeked for comfort from others, but when you find comfort in God, wow how live can change for you.
Dont depend on people, or even the church, depend on God and see how He starts changing things in your life, it wont always be easy, but uncomfortable situations define who we really are.
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Thank you so much for your comment, Stephan. It is truly amazing how much focusing on God can transform our lives!
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I spent all of my early years in a church, went to church camp, sang in choir, and attended every youth activity they put on. I thought I was a Christian in every sense of the word. As I grew older, I attended a Christian college and one of the requirements was to take religious classes. I choose a history class that looked at the start and progression of the Christian faith, it was a big mistake. It completely shook my faith and started me down a road of studying the history of other religions. Now I find myself, many years later, a firm atheist. Religion is so pervasive and blinding for some people. Religions are designed to draw you in and keep you tied to worship of the mystical. It’s a shame really.
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I so totally agree…I do not understand how anyone can believe in religion especially if you look at the history of it.
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It´s not about believing in religion. It´s about believing in God. Or rather believing God. That is a fundamental difference. Religion is about people and people aren´t perfect and never will be, right as history shows. But even though, when you look at the history of it, it lasts for thousands of years despite the wrong paths that are sometimes taken.
Faith is about relationship with God, primarily. Not about religion itself. That would never last as it wouldn´t have anything firm to stand on. Religion comes after relationship with God. If God does not stand first, but a man-made principles do, there you go, a wrong path born again. Sadly, that happens often.
Quoting someone above, I’m sorry there are people out there who were hurt and betrayed by religion, but look at the big picture. Was it Christ who let you down, or was it people?
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I tried for years to be religious. But my rational brain always won out. However, I’ve always felt very spiritual. It was quite a conflict for me for years. I now consider myself agnostic with a connection to all things and I don’t practice any religious traditions.
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I believe not because of people but in spite of them. I remain a sceptic of people especially the super religious but I saw a simple faith in
My father in law who would read & pray alone & lived out his faith with his family, community & church as best he could. He remained humble to the end
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I am in INFJ LGBTQ+ man who found Jesus Christ seemingly by accident. Years ago I stumbled across an LGBTQ affirming Pentecostal Church founded by a gay man and a lesbian woman who were kicked out of a larger denomnation in 1980, and they founded their own church, keeping similar theology, but LGBTQ+ -affirming in scope. I received what Pentecostals/Charismatic Christians understand as the Baptism of the Holy Spirit through that little unknown ministry in the Capital Region of New York State. I have never been the same since. Thrice blessed! Thank you Jesus. Still Gay, still Pentecostal, still liberal politically and still love others so much. This blog has been such a blessing to read; so many varied experiences.
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Great topic, and as an infj, perspectives is my game. I can understand all folks different experiences. For me, its not about religion as much as my personal relationship with something greater than myself. I call that entity both God AND Spirituality. I dont need to understand dogma or religion as such. My faith is based on my own experiences throughout the years. Many of which there is no natural or logic explanation to. Maybe it comes down to a trait I usually score high on, Openness, in addition to awareness as a number two in that regard. Even us INFJs have nuances and differences, I like to express it like this: «We are all in the same forest, its just our paths are different.
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I am very zealous Russian Conservative Protestant Christian. I am in the Church for reason of God. I have been looking for God and His righteous (actually, I’ve been looking for doing right). The men are the men. They aren’t perfect, but the Lord is perfect. It’s a reason why I am still in the Church.
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