Spiritual PTSD

Why did the prophet Elijah flee from Queen Jezebel in the story recorded in 1 Kings18-19? It’s a question I’ve heard asked quite often in sermons, typically with some laughter. Elijah had just faced down all the prophets of Baal, saw God work a mighty miracle, and finally got the people of Israel’s attention. Then he runs for the hills when a woman threatens him. Really? What an appalling lack of faith!

A few weeks ago, my sister asked, “Do you think people can have spiritual PTSD?” For context, the Anxiety and Depression Association of America says that Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) “is a serious potentially debilitating condition that can occur in people who have experienced or witnessed” a traumatic event such as “exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violation.” That could very well be something Elijah was dealing with in this story. And I suspect that since you chose to click on a post with the title “Spiritual PTSD,” you or someone you know might have experienced some kind of trauma as well. Perhaps God’s response to Elijah’s trauma holds hope for us today as well.

Elijah’s Traumatic Day

The first time Elijah steps on the Biblical scene, he tells one of the scariest kings to ever rule Israel, “As Yahweh, the God of Israel, lives, before whom I stand, there shall not be dew nor rain these years, but according to my word” (1 Kings 17:1, WEB). We know nothing of Elijah’s background save that he was a Tishbite from Gilead. What we do know is that God promptly sent him into hiding first by himself and then with a widow’s family (1 Kings 17:2-24).

I don’t know why God hid Elijah. Perhaps God wanted him to learn patience and trust. Or maybe He wanted to keep Elijah safe. Whatever the reason, there’s no indication Elijah was hesitant to come out of hiding when the Lord said, “Go” several years later. First Elijah presents himself to King Ahab, then he calls hundreds of pagan priests to the now famous meeting at Mount Carmel (1 Kings 18:1-20).

We often read this story and focus on God’s awesome work in demonstrating that He alone is God. Today, let’s try to see it from Elijah’s perspective. He came out of hiding to talk with a king who wants him dead. He called 850 priests and prophets of a hostile religion to a meeting and spent a full day taunting them in public. The scripture records “they cried aloud, and cut themselves in their way with knives and lances, until the blood gushed out on them” (1 Kings 18:28, WEB). That couldn’t have been much fun be around. And with so many there, I doubt every evil priest stayed right by the alter. I imagine they also tried to stir up the people and spent time threatening and taunting Elijah as well.

Elijah and the Priests of Baal by Lucas Cranach the Younger, ca. 1545
Image credit: “Elijah and the Priests of Baal” (cs. 1545) by Lucas Cranach the Younger

That went on all morning. In the afternoon, Elijah single handedly prepared a stone altar, butchered a bull, and set it up for an offering to God. I imagine he was physically exhausted by the time he stepped back and ordered the people to pour water over the altar three times (1 Kings 18:21-38). Then he prayed. God responded in spectacular fashion, burning up the water, stones, and dust as well as the sacrifice and wood. The people “fell on their faces” and said “Yahweh, he is God!” But Elijah’s job wasn’t done yet. He said, “Seize the prophets of Baal! Don’t let one of them escape!” They seized them; and Elijah brought them down to the brook Kishon, and killed them there” (1 Kings 18:39-40, WEB).

Elijah killed (probably with some help) at least 450 people that evening, perhaps 850 if “the prophets of the groves” from verse 19 were included with the prophets of Baal. And that still wasn’t the end of his day. He went up to the top of Carmel and prayed earnestly for rain. Once he saw a little cloud forming “he tucked his cloak into his belt and ran before Ahab to the entrance of Jezreel” (1 Kings 18:46, WEB). That’s at least 15 miles and he was running faster than a chariot.

There’s little indication what Elijah’s mental state was at this point. Was he exhausted but still patiently trusting God would work things out? Was he excitedly hopeful Ahab would turn back to God? We don’t know. We just know that when Jezebel promised to kill him within 24 hours “he ran for his life” (1 Kings 19:1-3, WEB). He ran about 100 miles from Jezreel to Bersheba, then goes another day’s journey in the wilderness and prays for death. In his series “Profiting From The Prophets,” Pastor Bob Deffinbaugh suspects Elijah could be “diagnosed as suicidal” and depressed at this point. I’m not a psychologist any more than Pastor Deffinbaugh is, but I’d say PTSD would be an equally valid diagnosis.

God’s Course of Treatment

Perhaps the most remarkable thing about this story is how God responds to Elijah’s fear. He doesn’t get angry or tell his traumatized, depressed follower to suck it up. He sends an angel to offer encouragement, food, and strength so Elijah could get to Mount Horeb. There, God asks, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (1 Kings 19:19:9, WEB). Elijah responds,

“I have been very jealous for Yahweh, the God of Armies; for the children of Israel have forsaken your covenant, thrown down your altars, and killed your prophets with the sword. I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.”

1 Kings 19:10, WEB

I’m not sure why God answered with “a great and strong wind [that] rent the mountains,” then an earthquake, then a fire. The scriptures say “the Lord was not in” these things. Perhaps Elijah refused to come out of his cave when God called the first time. Maybe he needed to see a display of God’s power as an encouragement or reminder. Whatever the case, he responds this time when the Lord calls in “a still small voice” (1 Kings 19:11-13, KJV). The LEB translates this as “the sound of a gentle whisper.”

The Lord asks again, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”  Elijah gives the same answer, probably the only one he could come up with after all that. The Lord responds in three parts: He gives Elijah a mission to anoint two kings, he tells him to anoint Elisha as his replacement, and He reveals there are 7,000 faithful people still in Israel (1 Kings 19:14-18). Food, something to do, a helper, and reassurance that he’s not alone. That’s what Elijah needed and that’s what God gave him.

What About Us?

click to read article, "Spiritual PTSD" | LikeAnAnchor.com
Image credit: “Elijah In The Desert” (1818) by Washington Allston

When my sister brought up the idea of spiritual PTSD she wasn’t just talking about people in the Bible who God brought through traumatic situations. She was also asking about a kind of spiritual parallel. Can someone experience a traumatic event in their spiritual walk that gives them a sort of spiritual “PTSD” that affects how they interact with God, churches, and fellow Christians?

I think it can. One of the perks of writing a blog is that I get to hear from many of my fellow Christians who reach out to share their stories. But the heartbreaking thing is that many of those stories are ones that involve deep hurt, much of it caused by fellow church members. We probably all know stories (or have personal stories) of being abused, dismissed, slandered, and much more all by people who claim to be following God. Even worse, the party at fault is often in a leadership position. Far too often, a Christian’s deepest hurts come from the people who should be the first ones to reach out in love and compassion.

But that’s the great thing about God. Nothing limits Him. He can help us just as effectively as He helped Elijah, whatever the source of our trauma. Because we can look at examples like Elijah’s, we know God follows through on promises like, “‘I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you.’ So that with good courage we say, ‘The Lord is my helper. I will not fear. What can man do to me?'” (Heb. 13:5-6, WEB).

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Make It A Spring

Sometimes we walk through a season of life that feels like a wilderness. Barren, lonely, forsaken. We might even feel like this is the end. That things are hopeless.

That’s where Elijah was when he fled Jezebel. He went out in the wilderness, sat by a tree, and asked God to let him die. Instead, God gave him food and water and sent him to Mount Horeb (1 Kings 19:1-8). There, Elijah made his complaint. “Then he said, ‘I have been very zealous for Yahweh the God of hosts, for the Israelites have forsaken your covenant. They have demolished your altars, and they have killed your prophets with the sword. I alone am left over, and they seek to take my life'” (1 Kings 19:10, LEB).

Yahweh responds by showing His power, reassuring Elijah that he was not the only believer left, and giving him a job to do (1 Kings 19:11-18). Elijah thought things were hopeless but God had other ideas. He had a plan for Elijah and an even larger plan Elijah didn’t know about.

click to read article, "Make It A Spring" | marissabaker.wordpress.com
Photo Credit: “Spring Runoff” by Ian Sane, CC BY via Flickr

Transforming Your Wilderness

For all of us, it’s easy to feel like we’re insignificant to God’s plan. But no one is too small for God to do marvelous things with. In fact, God often chooses the poor, weak, and little because those are the ones easiest for Him to work powerfully in (1 Cor. 1:26-31; 2 Cor. 12:9-10)

When the poor and needy seek water, and there is none, and their tongue faileth for thirst, I the Lord will hear them, I the God of Israel will not forsake them. (Is 41:17, KJV)

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Expecting Persecution: Responding To The World’s Hate

Last year, the persecution of Christians during the past quarter century hit a record high for the third year in a row. The World Watch List, released by Open Doors every year for the past 25 years, examines the pressures Christians face and levels of religiously motivated violence to rank the top 50 countries where “Christians face the most persecution.”click to read article, "Expecting Persecution: Responding To The World's Hate" | marissabaker.wordpress.com

Here in the United States, I’ve heard the Christians around me talk about being persecuted. “It’s getting bad,” they say. You might lose your business for not baking a cake or go to jail for not issuing a gay “marriage” license. You might be scared to say “I’m a Christian” because people will laugh at or ridicule you. Your kid might be told they can’t bring a Bible to school.

While that does qualify as persecution, the U.S. isn’t anywhere on this list, nor on the expanded list of countries to watch. India, on the other hand, comes in at #15. There are 64 million Christians in India and “approximately 39 million experience direct persecution.” That means about “40 incidents were reported per month, including pastors beaten, churches burned and Christians harassed.” A little closer to home, last year “23 Christian leaders in Mexico and four in Colombia were killed specifically for their faith.”

In 35 out of the 50 countries, including most of the top-ranked countries, Christians are being persecuted by Islamic extremists. In a rising number of Asian countries, the driving force is religious and ethnic nationalism. In summary, “Christians throughout the world continue to risk imprisonment, loss of home and assets, torture, beheadings, rape and even death as a result of their faith.”

Why The World Hates Us

Many U.S. Christians don’t even know about the level of persecution our brethren face overseas. And if we do, I think all too often our response is an American knee-jerk reaction that the solution is to export more of our ideas like religious freedom, tolerance, and equal justice. Those same ideals drive the indignation we feel seeing any sort of persecutions happen here in the United States.

click to read article, "Expecting Persecution: Responding To The World's Hate" | marissabaker.wordpress.com
Photo credit: “Sign: Religious Persecution in Progress” by John Nakamura Remy, CC BY-SA via Flickr

As Americans, we think we deserve religious freedom. Under U.S. law, we’re right and I do believe we should continue to fight for that on a political level. But we should also realize the level of freedom we’ve enjoyed to practice our faith in the U.S. is an anomaly in world history. And while U.S. citizens should be able to count on freedom from persecution because of the Constitution, as Christians we’re never promised exemption from persecution. In fact, we’re told the opposite. Read more

Send Me Your Stories: Christianity and MBTI Types

I have a blog post (or more likely series) that I’d really like to write and I need your help.

When I started this blog, I worried it would seem like an awkwardly smooshed together amalgam of INFJ blog and Christian blog. You’re supposed to find a niche or theme of some kind and focus your blogging there. Not start two blogs on the same site and post one on Mondays and one on Saturdays. But I felt this what what I should do and so I did. And it’s been wonderful.

I’ve heard from so many INFJs who find my blog through the Myers-Briggs posts and then comment because they discovered I’m Christian. I’ve also heard from other types. Most surprisingly, quite a large number of NTs want to talk about their faith. It’s been fascinating to hear from the types stereotyped as the least religious. Many talk about the challenges they face, especially in connecting with other Christians or in feeling like their faith walk doesn’t follow the “normal” pattern.Send Me Your Stories: Christianity and MBTI Types | marissabaker.wordpress.com

That has me wondering: if Christianity is a faith meant for all people then why aren’t we doing a better job of connecting with all personality types? It’s a very broad generalization, but most Christians in the United States seem to be Sensing types and/or Feeling types. And that’s who many churches cater toward. They’re focusing on the sort of traditions that make SJ types comfortable, or trying to engage SP types in sensory worship experiences, or appealing to the spiritual interests of a few NF types.

I firmly believe God created personality variations for a reason and that He longs for a relationship with all people. There are already Christians of every personality type who have strong walks with God. But they’re not all equally valued and understood in the churches. And I’d very much like to start changing that.

List of Finished Posts:

As this project continues, I’ll post links to the finished posts here. If you see your type on the list, you’re welcome to head over to that post to read what your fellow believers wrote about their faith and leave your perspective in the comments section. I’m hoping to turn this project into a book eventually, and I greatly value your perspective even if I’ve already published a post on your type.

My Questions For You

Here’s where you guys come in. I want to hear from Christians of as many different personality types as possible. If you want to contribute and don’t know your personality type yet, please check out my post Finding Your Real Myers-Briggs Type (if you can’t narrow it down to a single type or just want to take one online test instead of researching typeology in-depth, that’s okay. I’d still love to hear from you).

I’m asking you to please share your personality type and answer some (or all, if you like) of these questions:

  • Which Bible characters and/or stories do you most identify with?
  • Do you have gifts or talents that you feel are not appreciated or that you don’t have an opportunity to use in the church?
  • Do you have gifts or talents that are particularly encouraged and supported in the church?
  • Are there expectations from other Christians that you have a hard time meeting because of how your mind naturally works?
  • Which teaching/preaching styles connect with you best? How do you like to hear and learn about God and His word?
  • In what ways could the church better connect with someone like you when preaching the gospel?
  • What’s one of the biggest challenges you face as a Christian?
  • Why are you a Christian? In other words, what makes you believe this faith is the right one?

You can either leave a comment here or send me a private message through my Contact Me form. Unless you tell me otherwise, I’ll assume that by getting in touch you agree I can quote you directly and credit you by first name (or screen name) and Myers-Briggs type.

Please spread this around! The more people sending in their ideas and perspectives the better. Hopefully we’ll get enough feedback for several posts. Maybe it will even grow into an ebook. I can’t wait to read what you all have to say!

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Too Proud To Follow God

I’ll bet none of us would just come out and say, “I know better than God” or “God’s wrong and I’m right.” We recognize that as arrogant, inaccurate, and fool-hardy. But far too often, we act like that’s what we think even if we’re not saying or even consciously thinking those words. We come up with reasons why we don’t have to keep His commands, or decide we have a better idea for how to obey than what’s instructed in scripture. We try to come figure out what being Christian means to us rather than seeking what it means to God.

The stories of Israel’s first two kings perfectly illustrate the different ways we humans can approach following God. Saul did what was right in his own eyes while pretending to follow God, and God wasn’t impressed. He took the kingdom away from Saul and his family to set up David, someone who would truly follow after God’s heart and listen to His commands.

click to read article, "Too Proud To Follow God" | marissabaker.wordpress.com

Saul’s Prideful Disobedience

God chose Saul out of all the people, just as He later would David. It wasn’t His intention that Saul fail. But just two years into his reign, Saul found himself facing an army so terrifying his own troops ran and hid in caves. He waited seven days for Samuel the priest to come and offer sacrifice to God, but Samuel didn’t show.

That’s when Saul committed a sin that cost him the kingdom (1 Sam. 13). He made the decision to offer the sacrifice himself, showing a presumptuous disregard for God’s instructions. When Samuel showed up, Saul had all sorts of arguments to justify his actions but they didn’t change the fact that he’d ignored God’s will. Read more

Healthy Christian Boundaries and Loving People You Don’t Like

It’s easier to follow the second great commandment “You shall love your neighbor as yourself” when you like your neighbor. But Jesus didn’t say “love the people you like” or that this great command only applies to people who are easy to be around.

For if you love those who love you, what reward do you have? Do not the tax collectors also do the same? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing that is remarkable? Do not the Gentiles also do the same? Therefore you be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect. (Matt 5:46-48, LEB)

God is perfect in every way. In this case, however, Jesus is specifically talking about His perfect impartiality. Leading up to these verses, He said,

 But I tell you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat you and persecute you, that you may be children of your Father who is in heaven. For he makes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the just and the unjust. (Matt. 5:44-45, WEB)

If we want to be like God, we have to love the way He loves. God is love. It “is the sum and harmony of all His attributes, His essence” (Expositor’s Dictionary of Texts on 1 John 4:8-9). Love isn’t just something God does. It’s His nature; the motivation driving every choice He makes. The chief example of this is that while “we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Rom. 5:8, LEB).

click to read article, "Healthy Christian Boundaries and Loving People You Don't Like" | marissabaker.wordpress.com
photo credit: “Argument?” by Jules Minus, CC BY via Flickr

Clearing Up What Love Is

But things get complicated when dealing with humans. We run into questions, not because we’re trying to wiggle out of the command to love others but because we’re not sure what it means. Consider these scenarios:

  • Does love that “bears all things” mean I let my abusive parents/spouse/etc. keep hurting me?
  • Does love that “covers a multitude of sins” mean I always have to trust people again after forgiving them?
  • Does love that “does not behave rudely” stay friends with people who creep you out?

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