Three Ways to Join A Family

I’ve started reading a new book that I’m really excited about. Misreading Scripture with Individualist Eyes: Patronage, Honor, and Shame in the Biblical World by E. Randolph Richards and Richard James aims to provide readers in Western cultures with cultural information that’s helpful when properly interpreting the Bible. There’s a lot of topic overlap with Relational Faith by Brent J. Schmidt, which I reviewed earlier this year, and I was eager to see how different authors approached the subject.

Misreading Scripture with Individualist Eyes is a follow-up to Misreading Scripture with Western Eyes: Removing Cultural Blinders to Better Understand the Bible by E. Randolph Richards and Brandon J. O’Brien. That’s one of my favorite non-fiction books and I’ve referenced it several times on this blog (most notably in reference to temples and to women’s roles in church). I heartily recommend Misreading Scripture with Western Eyes and though I’m only 30% finished with Misreading Scripture with Individualist Eyes I suspect it will become a new favorite as well.

The topic I want to share with you today comes from “Chapter 1. Kinship: Being in a Family.” In collectivist cultures, the family is incredibly important. There are three ways to join a family or kinship group: birth, adoption, and marriage. As I read this chapter, it struck me that God uses all three of those methods to describe how we enter into His family.

“I” or “We”

I read a publication from a church once that went to great pains to explain when the Bible says God adopts us into His family, it doesn’t really mean adoption because we’re actually born into His family as His literal children. It’s been years, but I never forgot how irritated I was by that distinction. First, the Greek word does mean adoption, and if the Bible uses both birth and adoption to explain how we become God’s children, why wouldn’t we use both today? Second, I worried how someone who was adopted into their own human family think when reading that this church doesn’t think adoption means you’re really part of the family.

I share this to illustrate one of the ways that we can misinterpret things through a Western, individualist lens. We like things to be neat and separated; you can enter a family through birth or adoption, but not both. We also think of the individual as the basic unit of society rather than family (i.e. we conceptualize ourselves primarily as “I” rather than “we”). Our kinship groups are pretty lose, and no one is really surprised if you get married without intending to have kids or if you don’t have a relationship with your cousins, aunts, uncles, or even siblings and parents. If someone asks, “Who are you?” a Westerner is likely to respond by talking about their personality, achievements, interests, and work rather than by talking about their family and community.

Collectives are defined by the things they share with others, things such as shared blood, shared interests, shared history, shared land, and shared loyalty. They define their core identity as being part of a group, in distinction to other groups.

This is what we mean by collectivism. Collectivist people understand their identity from the group they are part of. It is about identity, which is why people in collective societies live their lives oriented toward their group.

Misreading Scripture with Individualist Eyes, Richards and James, p. 22

Richards and James are careful to point out that these are generalizations; not all collectivist or individualist cultures are identical. But these generalizations help Western individualists understand how different the Biblical culture was than what we’re familiar with today. If you’re one of my readers who lives in a collectivist culture, you probably have a much easier time relating to the collective aspects of Bible culture than a typical American or other Westerner.

Going back to my opening example, we shouldn’t think of the Bible’s explanation for how we become God’s children as something we need to put into one box or the other (i.e. birth vs. adoption). Biblical writers use being born as children and adopted as children to describe the process of becoming part of God’s family. They also use marriage symbolism. It’s not an either-or situation. It’s three analogies to help us understand more about what’ happening here.

Ways to Enter A Family

Suppose you were trying to describe the most beautiful sunset you’ve ever seen. You might give some literal descriptions–it was orange and pink with purple clouds, it was over a wheat field. But you might also decide the literal isn’t doing it justice and use similes, analogies, and metaphors–it was like a beautiful painting, it looked like cotton candy, it gave me the same feeling as when I look out over the ocean. Those metaphors are all very different. Paintings, cotton candy, and oceans are not the same thing. But we can use those different descriptions to describe the same sunset.

I think that’s part of what’s going on when Bible writers describe the way God makes us part of His family. Birth, adoption, and marriage are not equivalent to each other, but they all help us understand the same concept. God is bringing human beings into His family. We are becoming part of His kinship group.

In the biblical world, kinship terms were not tossed about … casually because kinship ordered society. Across the ancient Mediterranean world, one entered into a family, a clan, a tribe by birth, adoption, or marriage.

Misreading Scripture with Individualist Eyes, Richards and James, p. 34

That seems pretty obvious, but what struck me is that these three ways to enter a family are the three ways that God explains how we become His children. By describing the process of us entering God’s family in all three ways, God reinforces how much He wants us as part of His family. He shows that we’re going to become His family in every possible way, with all the rights and responsibilities accorded to those who are born, adopted, or marry into a family.

Birth

Birth was not just a matter of biology, though it included that. Birth was the way ancients received their identity. … When Jesus says to Nicodemus, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again” (Jn 3:3), he is saying something very profound. To see the kingdom of God, you need to belong to a new family.

Misreading Scripture with Individualist Eyes, Richards and James, p. 38

We receive a new identity when we become Christians. Just as we’re no longer of the world, our primary identity is no longer determined by anything physical (including our human biology). This is an essential step in becoming children of God. Jesus told Nicodemus, “I tell you the solemn truth, unless a person is born of water and spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God. What is born of the flesh is flesh, and what is born of the Spirit is spirit. Do not be amazed that I said to you, ‘You must all be born from above'” (John 3:5-7, NET). We must be baptized with both water and the spirit to become children of God. This rebirth into a new family is something the Father accomplished through Jesus Christ.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! By his great mercy he gave us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, that is, into an inheritance imperishable, undefiled, and unfading. It is reserved in heaven for you, who by God’s power are protected through faith for a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time.  …

You have been born anew, not from perishable but from imperishable seed, through the living and enduring word of God.

1 Peter 1:3-5, 23, NET

There is great mercy involved in God birthing us into His family. He chose to give us new lives. We were buried with Jesus in baptism, dying to our old selves, and we come up from that water with new life (Rom. 6:1-4; Col. 2:12). As such, God expects that we will then walk in that newness of life, living as children who inherit His character traits. John talks about this frequently in his first epistle.

 Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ has been fathered by God, and everyone who loves the father loves the child fathered by him. By this we know that we love the children of God: whenever we love God and obey his commandments. For this is the love of God: that we keep his commandments. And his commandments do not weigh us down, because everyone who has been fathered by God conquers the world. …

We know that everyone fathered by God does not sin, but God protects the one he has fathered, and the evil one cannot touch him.

1 John 5:1-4, 18, NET

When we are born of God (also translated “begotten” or “fathered”), we take on new identity. We become part of His family, we will eventually “be like Him,” and even today we strive to be righteous the way He is righteous (1 John 3:1-10). We keep God’s commandments because we love Him and we know that’s how we do things in this family.

Adoption

Modern Westerners usually adopt so that they (the family) can care for the (young) child. In the ancient biblical world, people adopted so that the adopted son could care for the family. … Families [without an heir] chose a man to adopt as a son because they deemed him worthy of caring for the family. … adoption for this purpose was commonly called “adoption to sonship.” …

Adoption in the biblical world carried very real implications for the kinship of those adopted and the families they joined. The adopted members were placed into the family, they inherited in the family, and these realities shaped their lives and the lives of the family’s descendants.

Misreading Scripture with Individualist Eyes, Richards and James, p. 39, 40, 41

God the Father already has a firstborn Son to inherit all things: Jesus Christ. We’re not adopted to be the heir, but we are adopted to share in the inheritance of our Elder Brother. Adoption describes a process of taking someone who was formerly outside a kinship group and making them part of the family. It’s a good analogy for our relationship with God, particularly for Gentiles. Jewish believers might have thought they already stood to inherit God’s promises and didn’t need adopted into His family (though Paul says that wasn’t true; every New Covenant believer is adopted), but for those without Israelite heritage the imagery of adoption likely brought extra tears of joy to their eyes.

 But when the appropriate time had come, God sent out his Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, so that we may be adopted as sons with full rights. And because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, who calls “Abba! Father!” So you are no longer a slave but a son, and if you are a son, then you are also an heir through God.

Galatians 4:4-7, NET

For he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world that we should be holy and blameless before him in love. He did this by predestining us to adoption as his legal heirs through Jesus Christ, according to the pleasure of his will—to the praise of the glory of his grace that he has freely bestowed on us in his dearly loved Son.

Ephesians 1:4-6, NET

Can you imagine how much it would have meant to believers in Rome, Galatia, and Ephesus to read Paul’s letters and learn they’ve received “adoption to sonship” from God Himself? It should still hit us with the same force today. God did not owe us anything because of our birth or ancestry. He chooses us as His heirs, calling each of us to join His family and inherit alongside our elder brother Jesus. This is an incredible blessing, which comes with all the rights (and responsibilities) of being God’s children and legal heirs.

Marriage

The Bible assumes that we understand that marriage forged kinship links between many more people than just the husband and wife. … Ancients made such decisions collectively. Parents and other relatives were deeply involved.

Misreading Scripture with Individualist Eyes, Richards and James, p. 42, 44

Individualists often balk at the idea of arranged marriages, but they were commonplace in the biblical world. And when we think about it, our future marriage with Jesus as Christians follows that same pattern. In a parable, Jesus tells us, “The kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who arranged a marriage for his son” (Matt. 22:2, NKJV). We have veto-power in this arrangement (i.e. we can say we don’t want to marry Jesus) but we don’t get to choose a different bridegroom. We need to trust that the Father knows what is best for us, just like Jesus trusts Him to select who will be part of the Bride.

The analogy of marriage to explain how we become part of God’s family adds another layer of meaning to what we’ve already learned from birth and adoption. In this analogy, the church is the Bride. This means we have specific roles and responsibilities in the family in addition to those of born and adopted children.

We’re to submit to our husband Jesus in everything (Eph. 5:22-33). We’re to make ourselves ready to be “a companion for him who corresponds to him” (Gen. 2:18, NET); “a helper comparable to him” (Gen. 2:18, WEB). We must be absolutely faithful to Him, as Paul pointed out when he said, “I am jealous for you with godly jealousy, because I promised you in marriage to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ” (2 Cor. 11:2, NET).

Then I heard what sounded like the voice of a vast throng, like the roar of many waters and like loud crashes of thunder. They were shouting:
“Hallelujah!
For the Lord our God, the All-Powerful, reigns!
Let us rejoice and exult
and give him glory,
because the wedding celebration of the Lamb has come,
and his bride has made herself ready.
She was permitted to be dressed in bright, clean, fine linen” (for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints).
Then the angel said to me, “Write the following: Blessed are those who are invited to the banquet at the wedding celebration of the Lamb!” He also said to me, “These are the true words of God.”

Revelation 19:6-9, NET

The Father and Jesus are wholly committed to the project of “bringing many children to glory” (Heb. 2:10, WEB). Even right now, “we are God’s children” and in the future “we will be like him” (1 John 3:1-3, NET). Birth, adoption, and marriage analogies all help us understand how we become part of God’s family.

These analogies also teach us about our roles and responsibilities in God’s family. As God’s born children, we inherit His nature and spiritual DNA, and we ought to become more and more like Him the longer we live. As His adopted children, we inherit a place in His kinship group and become part of His covenants, as well as inheriting the responsibilities that go along with that. And as Jesus’s affianced bride, we’re making ourselves ready to work alongside Him into eternity. The vastness of what God offers us by birthing, adopting, and marrying us is astonishing. We ought to place a very high value on these gifts and live with a consciousness that we are part of God’s wonderful family.

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