Tag: women

Wrestling with Judges 19-21

Wrestling with Judges 19-21

Marissa

Judges 19-21 is undeniably one of the most troubling narratives in the Bible. The story begins horrifically and keeps going from bad to worse. A Levite man’s concubine is raped and murdered in the town of Gibeah in the territory of Benjamin after he shoves her out the door into a mob. He cuts her body up, sends her to each of the tribes of Israel, and the men respond by raising a huge army of 400,000 warriors and sending them against Benjamin to demand justice. The Benjaminites met with an army of 26,700 men. In a series of three day attacks, Israel lost 30,000 men before overrunning the men of Benjamin. Only 600 Benjaminite survivors escaped into the wilderness. 

It is not explicitly stated that the Israelite army then murdered every woman and child in the territory of Benjamin, just that they burned every city in Benjamin’s land, but by the time they are done there are no women left for those 600 escaped Benjamite soldiers to marry and rebuild the tribe. Realizing this, “The Israelites regretted what had happened to their brother Benjamin. They said, ‘Today we cut off an entire tribe from Israel! How can we find wives for those who are left?'” (Jud. 21:6-7, NET). The “solution” involves killing everyone in the town of Jabesh Gilead except for 400 virgins they give to Benjamin. Then the elders of Israel give the remaining 200 men from the mascaraed tribe of Benjamin permission to steal virgins gathered for an annual festival in Shiloh to be their wives.

I can’t even begin to wrap my head around how many people died in this horrific chapter in ancient Israel history. The numbers we are given tell us 65,100 fighting men died. That doesn’t include the remainder of the tribe of Benjamin (men past fighting age, women, and children) or all the people of Jabesh Gilead. It’s horrific. And the solution is almost equally horrifying: turn 600 women over to those 600 men and force them to rebuild the tribe. The Bible doesn’t shy away from discussing violence, but there is “atypical and excessive use of violence within Judges 19–21” (Matheny, 2018, p. 286). It stands out even among other violent stories as particularly horrible.

Image of folded hands resting on an open Bible, overlaid with text from Judges 21:23, 25, NET version: "The Benjaminites did as instructed. They abducted 200 of the dancing girls to be their wives. They went home to their own territory, rebuilt their cities, and settled down. ... In those days Israel had no king. Each man did what he considered to be right."
Image by Pearl from Lightstock

A Biblical Fiction Perspective

Whenever I read this section of scripture, I wonder what it was like for those women. This is the longest narrative in the book of Judges (Matheny, 2018), yet it still only gives us a history-level narrative rather than a human-level one. One of the reasons that I love reading well-researched Biblical fiction is because it helps bring the Bible narratives down to an individual, human level as the author and reader explore what life would could have been like to live in those days. Books like that give voices (albeit fictional ones) to people who are silent in historic records. It would be very, very easy to write any book about this incident as a horror story. I am a hopeless romantic, though, so I desperately want to believe that at least some of these poor women found good lives with their unexpected husbands.

As far as I can find out, there are only two fictionalized accounts of this moment in Biblical history. I read Building Benjamin: Naomi’s Journey by Barbara M. Britton back in 2019 and after recently rereading the book of Judges, I read Warrior of the Heart by Mary Ellen Boyd just this past week. Both follow the story of one of the women captured during the feast at Shiloh. Both hypothesize a man (strangely, named Eliab in both novels) scarred by the past few months, repentant for his role in the atrocities, and committed to making the best of the situation and treating his new wife well. Both show a woman wrestling with whether to accept this as God’s will and eventually falling in love with her husband.

Violence against women (though certainly not exclusively against women) is so much a part of world history, and it can be especially discouraging to see it in scripture because sometimes we wonder if that means God is okay with this sort of thing. One of the things we have to remember when reading passages like this is that just because it’s in the Bible doesn’t mean God approved of what happened. There are a lot of stories, especially in the Old Testament, that are a cautionary tales and proof that human beings mess things up horribly when they don’t follow God’s way.

Perspective from Ruth

Image of a woman studying the Bible, overlaid with blog's title text and the words, "Judges 19-21 is undeniably one of the most horrific narratives in the Bible. Reading Biblical fiction and comparing Judges with the Book of Ruth can help us gain perspective on why the story might be included in scripture, and reassure us that Judges 19-21 was not God's final word on the topic of women or on the subject of building a righteous community."
Image by Pearl from Lightst

This story in Judges begins with the words, “In those days Israel had no king” (Jud. 19:1, NET) and it ends by saying, “In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did that which was right in his own eyes” (Jud. 21:25, WEB). They weren’t following God as their king the way they were supposed to, there wasn’t a righteous human ruler there to enforce God’s law, and people just did whatever seemed right in their own eyes. This story shows just how very wrong people can be when they think they are doing what is right. It provides context for why God answered the way He did when Israel asked for a king: “The Lord said to Samuel, ‘Do everything the people request of you. For it is not you that they have rejected, but it is me that they have rejected as their king'” (1 Sam. 8:7, NET). The community cannot be trusted to govern themselves even when they have God’s Law, as the tragedy in Judges 19-21 proved (Cohen, 2020).

In traditional English Bibles, the reading order of books in the Hebrew Bible goes from Judges, to Ruth, to 1 Samuel. Originally, the order was Judges immediately followed by 1 Samuel (Ruth was placed with Psalms, Proverbs, etc.). The original placement underscores the connection between everything that happened in Judges and the transition to Israel as a monarchy. The more recent placement, though, makes sense from a historic and literary level. Ruth takes place during the time of Judges (Ruth 1:1) and some scholars believe that “its placement in the Septuagint and Vulgate immediately after Judges” helps show “Judges 19–21 and Ruth are in dialogue” with each other (Matheny, 2018, p. 1-2). The silent, violated women of the book of Judges give way to the vocal, respected women in Ruth. In her thesis (which I will admit I have not read in it’s entirety yet), Matheny argues that “the story of Ruth can be read as a voice of canonical ethical response” to the Judges narrative, offering “an alternative voice of non-violence” after the horrors of Judges 19-21 (2018, p. 2-3). She bases her claim on close readings of the text, their position in canon, genre similarities (both can be read as parables/fables), and the use of language.

Ruth is one of my favorite Biblical stories. It has an “early and almost undisputed acceptance in the canons” of scripture, and there is no reason not to think it was meant to stand alongside the Law and the Prophets, perhaps even “as a commentary on those sections of scripture” (along with the other Writings like Psalms and Proverbs) (Matheny, 2018, p. 12). The Book of Ruth bridges the time of Judges and the time of Kings, both in a literary sense by coming between Judges and 1 Samuel in modern canon and in a literal sense as she and Boaz are King David’s great-grandparents (Ruth 4:17). Interestingly, the first king of Israel, Saul, was from the tribe of Benjamin (1 Samuel 9:17-21) and the next king, David, was from the town of Bethlehem in the tribe of Judah, just like the woman killed in Judges 19 (Judges 19:1-2; 1 Samuel 17:12). I’m not sure if that means anything, but it sure is intriguing.

Another connection between Ruth and the Judges 19-21 story can be found in the original Hebrew language. For example, Naomi’s sons are not said to have “‘taken’ a wife, they נשא אשה (1:4). The verb, נשא ‘lifted/carried’ wives for themselves, Moabites which means ‘to lift’ or ‘to carry’ connotes the issues of Ruth and Orpah as other, as foreign women. This is the same verb used at the end of Judges in the scene where the Benjamite men ‘lift’ and ‘carry’ wives for themselves at the festival dance in Judges 21:23” (Matheny, p. 299). That does not necessarily mean that Ruth and Orpah were taken against their will (it may simply underscore their status as non-Israelites) but it does provide a concrete link in the language of the two texts.

Ruth serves as a way pointing forward with an extraordinary display of חסד (“loving–kindness,” “covenant–faithfulness”), of self-sacrifice for the other. With the story of Ruth beginning with death and ending with life, it becomes clear that this story was meant to be one of the canonical voices of answerability to the horror and violence witnessed in Judges. It is as if the text of Judges 19–21 is calling out for a king to make things right and one reply comes in the form of a story about women, and in particular, a Moabite woman named Ruth.

Matheny, 2018, p. 327

Reading Biblical fiction and examining the Book of Ruth as a possible answer to what happened in Judges 19-21 does not make the account any less horrific. But it can help us gain perspective on why the story might be included in scripture, and reassure us that the hopelessness and horror at the end of Judges was not God’s final word on the topic of women or on the subject of building a righteous community.

References

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Wisdom and the Proverbs 31 Woman

Wisdom and the Proverbs 31 Woman

Marissa

As I was recently re-reading Proverbs 31, I was struck by the opening line: “The words of King Lemuel—the revelation which his mother taught him” (Prov. 31:1, WEB). Taking the text at face-value, it seems that this section of Proverbs was written by someone called King Lemuel, but he’s recording his mother’s advice rather than writing something of his own composition. Unless Priscilla is indeed the author of Hebrews (which is a distinct possibility), this is probably the closest thing we have to a section of scripture written by a woman.

On the one hand, it is not remarkable that God would include a woman’s writings in scriptural canon. Men and woman are spiritually equal in His eyes (Gal. 3:28) and He has used women throughout history to serve in many roles including leader, teacher, and prophet. Of course God could include women’s writings in His Bible if He wanted to. But on the other hand, it is important to recognize this unnamed woman’s contribution because so many people don’t think God uses women in any sort of formal teaching role.

As I studied this passage of scripture this week, a footnote in the New English Translation caught my eye. The translators suggested that we might read Proverbs 31:10-31 not only as part of King Lemuel’s mother’s advice but as the conclusion for the whole Book of Proverbs. Some have said that “The poem captures all the themes of wisdom that have been presented in the book and arranges them in this portrait of the ideal woman” (Claudia V. Camp, Wisdom and the Feminine in the Book of Proverbs, qtd. in NET study note on Prov. 31:10). The Biblical proverbs frequently personify wisdom as a woman (Proverbs 1:20-33; 4:4-13; 8:1-9:11), and it would be in keeping with that to wrap-up the Book of Proverbs by talking about a good and wise woman.

Image of three happy women overlaid with text from – Proverbs 31:30-31, NET version: Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting. A woman who fears the Lord—she makes herself praiseworthy. Give her credit for what she has accomplished, and let her works praise her in the city gates.
Image by Pearl from Lightstock

Comparing Scriptures Side-By-Side

King Lemuel is a mysterious figure. We don’t know anything about him other than that his mother gave him the advice recorded in Proverbs. There are no other clues to his identity or where and when he ruled. The first part of Proverbs 31 focuses on advice about being a good king (Prov. 31:2-9). The advice includes don’t spend all your energy enjoying women and alcohol, secure legal rights for those who can’t speak for themselves, and judge righteously.

The remainder of the chapter is the famous “Who can find a virtuous woman?” passage. In Hebrew, this is an acrostic poem (each verse starts with the letters of the Hebrew alphabet, in order). It has often been read as a template for all godly women, though this seems to be stretching the meaning. For one thing, the woman talked about here is a wife and mother, which leaves some of the roles she fills out of reach for single or childless women. For another, the woman is wealthy and entrepreneurial, something that is not necessarily true of all godly women. If this is part of Lemuel’s mother’s advice for her son, we can read this as a description of the type of wife King Lemuel’s mother wanted him to look for. We can apply it more broadly as a pattern of wisdom and valor that both women and men can learn from (see NET study note on Prov. 31:10), but it does not seem that Proverbs 31:10-31 is meant as an exact pattern all women must follow.

Remember this quote we started with: “The poem captures all the themes of wisdom that have been presented in the book and arranges them in this portrait of the ideal woman” (Claudia V. Camp, qtd. in NET study note on Prov. 31:10). In light of that thought, I thought it might be interesting to put the virtuous woman passage alongside some of the sections of Proverbs where wisdom is personified as a woman.

Who can find a worthy woman?
For her value is far above rubies.

Proverbs 31:10, WEB

For wisdom is better than rubies.
All the things that may be desired can’t be compared to it.

Proverbs 8:11, WEB

The heart of her husband trusts in her.
He shall have no lack of gain.
She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life. …

Her husband is respected in the gates,
when he sits among the elders of the land.

Proverbs 31:11, 23, WEB

Wisdom is supreme.
Get wisdom.
Yes, though it costs all your possessions, get understanding.
Esteem her, and she will exalt you.
She will bring you to honor when you embrace her.
She will give to your head a garland of grace.
She will deliver a crown of splendor to you.

Proverbs 4:7-9, WEB

She seeks wool and flax,
and works eagerly with her hands.
She is like the merchant ships.
She brings her bread from afar. …

She arms her waist with strength,
and makes her arms strong.
She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. …

She makes linen garments and sells them,
and delivers sashes to the merchant.
Strength and dignity are her clothing.
She laughs at the time to come. …

Give her of the fruit of her hands!
Let her works praise her in the gates!

Proverbs 31:13-14, 17-18a, 24-25, 31 WEB

“I, wisdom, have made prudence my dwelling.
Find out knowledge and discretion. …
With me are riches, honor,
enduring wealth, and prosperity.
My fruit is better than gold, yes, than fine gold,
my yield than choice silver.
I walk in the way of righteousness,
in the middle of the paths of justice,
that I may give wealth to those who love me.
I fill their treasuries.”

Proverbs 8:12, 18-21, WEB

She opens her arms to the poor;
yes, she extends her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household,
for all her household are clothed with scarlet. …

She opens her mouth with wisdom.
Kind instruction is on her tongue.
She looks well to the ways of her household,
and doesn’t eat the bread of idleness.

Proverbs 31:20-21, 26-27, WEB

Wisdom has built her house.
She has carved out her seven pillars.
She has prepared her meat.
She has mixed her wine.
She has also set her table.
She has sent out her maidens.
She cries from the highest places of the city:
“Whoever is simple, let him turn in here!”
As for him who is void of understanding, she says to him,
“Come, eat some of my bread,
Drink some of the wine which I have mixed!
Leave your simple ways, and live.
Walk in the way of understanding.”

Proverbs 9:1-6, WEB

Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain;
but a woman who fears Yahweh, she shall be praised.

Proverbs 31:30, WEB

The fear of Yahweh is the beginning of wisdom.
The knowledge of the Holy One is understanding.
For by me your days will be multiplied.
The years of your life will be increased.

Proverbs 9:10-11, WEB

Virtue and Wisdom

Image of a man and woman studying the Bible together, overlaid with blog's title text and the words, " The "virtuous woman" of Proverbs 31 isn't just a list of things for godly women to do. It's something men and women can learn from as we apply the Book of Proverbs' lessons about wisdom in our lives."
Image by Anggie from Lightstock

Modern readers often think of “virtue,” particularly related to women, as involving chastity and meekness. There’s a lot more to it than that, though. Proverbs 31:10 is one of several passages where the meaning has become obscured at the English language changes. Back in 1611, King James translators chose “virtuous woman” knowing that the word had been connected with “moral life and conduct, uprightness of life, the opposite of vice; a particular moral excellence” since around the year 1200 (“virtue,” etymonline.com). They may have chosen “virtue” instead of “valor” because around the 1590s, “virtue” also started to refer to women’s “chastity, sexual purity,” but it was an accurate translation choice at the time. Modern translations typically try to get away from those connotations of “virtuous” by using phrases like “a worthy woman” (WEB), “a wife of noble character” (NET, NIV), or “a capable wife” (CJB).

“a woman of valor.” This is the same expression used to describe Ruth (e.g., Ruth 3:11). The term חַיִל (khayil) here means “moral worth” (BDB 298 s.v.); cf. KJV “a virtuous woman.” Elsewhere the term is used of physical valor in battle, e.g., “mighty man of valor,” the land-owning aristocrat who could champion the needs of his people in times of peace or war (e.g., Judg 6:12). Here the title indicates that the woman possesses all the virtues, honor, and strength to do the things that the poem will set forth.

NET translation note on Prov. 31:10

The Proverbs 31 portrait of a woman who posses moral worth, virtues, honor, and strength isn’t just a list of things that godly women should do (a list which, as I have written about before, can seem intimidating or out of reach for some women). It is an example of what godly women can look like, the conclusion to the Book of Proverbs, and perhaps a continuation of themes personifying wisdom as feminine. This is a passage that men and women can learn from, particularly in the sense of examples for how to apply wisdom in our lives.

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Focusing On Authority Misses the Point (How Do Women Serve in the Church?)

Focusing On Authority Misses the Point (How Do Women Serve in the Church?)

Marissa

I recently read a social media discussion centered on the issue of women in ministry. Without going into too much detail, the original post criticized the idea of “women pastors,” and subsequent comments went in the direction of debating whether or not women had any authority roles in the church. As I read these comments, I started feeling uncomfortable. It’s not as if I’m unfamiliar with this topic or I don’t have my own ideas on whether women are “allowed” to teach, speak, pray, prophecy, or lead in churches (one example: my post “Women Who Speak in Scripture”). But the focus on who gets to have authority struck me as wrong. If we focus discussions like this on who is in charge, I think we’re missing one of the New Testament’s big points about how all Christians are supposed to relate to one another.

Jesus’s Take on Authority

Authority is not a bad thing. Jesus taught with authority, used the authority His father gave Him for good (such as to forgive sins), and currently has “all authority in heaven and on earth” (Matt. 7:29; 9:6; 28:18; John 5:27; 10:18). He also clarifies that His authority comes from God–it’s legitimate authority conferred upon Him by the highest authority (John 12:49). As someone with authority, He could and did give His disciples certain authority, such as over unclean spirits (Matt. 10:1).

In these verses, the Greek word translated “authority” is exousia (G1849). Thayer’s dictionary lists several primary meanings: “1. power of choice, liberty of doing as one pleases … 2. physical or mental power … 3. the power of authority (influence) or right (privilege) 4. the power of rule or government.” Like the English word “authority,” it can refer to legitimate, well-wielded authority or it can have a darker side. We see that in a discussion Jesus had with His disciples at least twice: once after James and John asked for authority in His kingdom and once at the Passover when all the disciples debated who would be the greatest after Jesus died.

Now when the other ten heard this, they were angry with the two brothers.  But Jesus called them and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in high positions use their authority over them. It must not be this way among you! Instead whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Matthew 20:24-28, NET

 A dispute also started among them over which of them was to be regarded as the greatest. So Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in authority over them are called ‘benefactors.’ Not so with you; instead the one who is greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the one who serves. For who is greater, the one who is seated at the table, or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is seated at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.

Luke 22:24-27, NET

“Authority” in these verses is exousia (or it is in Luke 22; Matthew 20 uses katexousiazo, a derivative meaning “to exercise authority, wield power” [G2715, Thayer]). In this case, it’s talking about people among the nations who have worldly authority. The phrase “lord it over” is another word: kurieuo in Luke 22, which means “to be lord of, to rule, have dominion over” (G2961, Thayer) and katakurieu in Matthew, a related word meaning “to bring under one’s power … to hold in subjection to be master of, exercise lordship over” (G2634, Thayer). It’s definitely not a good thing in this context, and Jesus clearly tells his disciples not to act this way. If you want to be great in His church, then you serve.

When I saw people arguing things like, “How dare women try to get authority over men?” or “I can’t stand that only men get authority, why can’t women like me be in charge?” I thought about these verses. There are certain kinds of authority given to people in the church (and legitimate roles instituted by Jesus or those He taught directly, such as apostle, pastor, and deacon), but if we’re concerned about who gets to lord it over other people then we’re missing the point. No one is supposed to be lording it over other people or coveting a position where they could do that. We’re supposed to be humble and focus on service.

Image of a young woman standing in church reading the Bible overlaid with text from Gal. 5:13, NET version: “For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity to indulge your flesh, but through love serve one another.”
Image by José Roberto Roquel from Lightstock

Who Can Serve and How?

Maybe instead of asking, “Can women have authority in the church?” we should ask, “Can women serve in the church?” The answer to that is a resounding “Yes!” supported by the examples of many women in the Old and New Testaments. What gets more to the heart of the original debate, though, is the question, “How do women serve in the church?” We have examples to answer that question as well. We know for certain that women in the Bible served God’s people in these ways:

There may even have been a woman apostle, Junia (Rom. 16:7), but her exact role is so hotly debated that I didn’t put “apostle” on my list (scholars pretty much agree that she was a woman, but not on whether the phrase used in this verse indicates she could have been an apostle). Clearly, women were heavily involved in the church, both in what we think of as “behind the scenes” roles and (apparently more rarely, though female prophets are relatively common) in the more public leading, serving, teaching, preaching roles. When God uses a woman to do something in scripture, we really can’t argue that the church shouldn’t allow women to do those same things today.

Things Women (Probably) Don’t Do

It’s worth noting some of the roles that we don’t see examples of women in. If we look at the lists of ministry gifts/roles in 1 Corinthians 12:28 and Ephesians 4:11, we see “first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, gifts of healing, helps, gifts of leadership, different kinds of tongues” (1 Cor. 12:28, NET) and “some as apostles, some as prophets, some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers” (Eph. 4:11). Let’s use those lists as a guide for examining women’s possible roles in the church.

We might have one possible example of a woman as an apostle, but no specific examples of them as pastors (from the same Greek word translated “shepherd”) or evangelists (Greek word only used 3 times). However, “evangelist” is a title that comes from the Greek verb euaggelizo (G2097), “to bring good news” or preach the gospel (Thayer). It is likely that women did participate in that activity (Acts 8:1-4; Phil 4:2-3). We also don’t have specific examples of women performing miracles or healings. But we know for certain that women can be prophets, that women teach even if not called “teacher” as a title, that they fill helper roles, that they can have leadership-related gifts, and that those at Pentecost spoke in different languages just like the apostles and other men (Acts 1:14; 2:1-4).

It seems, then, that we can say women did not serve as pastors/shepherds in the Bible and that they were not typically apostles or evangelists. The only other church “authority” roles I can think of in the New Testament are elder, bishop/overseer, and deacon/servant. We have a concrete example of a woman as a deaconess/servant, but no women in the overseer role. “Elder” seems to refer to men most of the time, but the feminine version of the Greek word is used in 1 Tim. 5:2. I suspect that when “elder” is used to refer to respected older people in the church it often includes men and women, but when it’s used to refer to an ordained role in the church it typically or exclusively refers to men. That said, we also don’t have any verses directly saying, “women cannot be pastors.”

You might be uncomfortable with how ambiguous I’m being here, but it is deliberate. The need to have hard rules defining what women and men can and cannot do is a product of Western cultural mindset being applied to the Biblical text. We want specific and inflexible rules for things, but Eastern cultures (like those of Biblical writers) see rules differently: “rules apply except when the one in charge says otherwise. Westerners might consider this arbitrary; many non-Western Christians consider this grace” (Misreading Scripture With Western Eyes, Richards & O’Brien, p. 174). As an example, one of the authors of this book recounts a time when he was invited to speak to a group of pastors in Indonesia. He was shocked, knowing the group’s bylaws say pastors must be male, to see a few women in the audience. When he asked about it, he was calmly told, “Yes, and most of them are [male]” (p. 169). The Indonesian man he spoke with saw nothing strange about an exception to the rule. Perhaps Christians at the time Paul wrote Romans would have heard us say, “Women can’t be apostles,” and responded by saying, “That’s right, except for the times when they are apostles.”

Image of three women holding hands to form a circle and pray, overlaid with text from Acts 2:17-18, NET version: “And in the last days it will be,” God says, “that I will pour out my Spirit on all people, and your sons and your daughters will prophesy, and your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy.”
Image by Pearl from Lightstock

But What About 1 Timothy 2?

Because we’ve been talking about authority, we need to address 1 Timothy 2:12, where Paul wrote, “I don’t permit a woman to teach, nor to exercise authority over a man” (WEB). Seems straightforward enough, until we start looking at the context and Greek words. Paul doesn’t use any of the typical words for authority here, but rather the incredibly rare word authenteō. This word may refer to wrongly used authority and/or could be connected to astrology practiced by some pagan women at the time, but it’s hard to say for sure since this is the only time it’s used in the Bible and it’s rarely used in contemporary writings (“The Strangeness of 1 Timothy 2:12,” Andrew Bartlett). Paul also uses a different phrase, “I don’t permit,” than he typically uses when laying down rules for the churches.

We also should take note of the fact that Timothy was in Ephesus when he received this letter, a church that Paul specifically brought Priscilla and Aquilla into and where he left them to serve (including teaching Apollos when they arrived [Acts 18:18-28]). It makes a whole lot more sense to interpret this as a prohibition against women usurping (KJV), dominating (ASV), or lording it over (TLB) a man (note that “man” is singular in the Greek, not the plural “men”) rather than a general rule that women never speak or have any authority, particularly given how involved some women were in ministry in the New Testament.

This analysis might seem pedantic or as if we’re trying to “get around” this scripture, but when you come across something in Paul’s writings that is hard to understand (and a lot of things are [2 Pet. 3:16-17]) we need to look at how it fits with the rest of scripture. Our interpretation of what he says has to match other things in the Bible. In this case, if scripture shows women consistently involved in various types of ministry work–including, occasionally, what we’d think of as “authority” roles like prophet or church host–then Paul’s words here can’t be a prohibition on women serving in the body of believers. It would go against precedent in the entire Bible–including Jesus’s radical treatment of women as equals and Paul’s own writings about how God views converted men and women on a cosmic scale (1 Cor. 11:11-12; Gal. 3:28)–if Paul were making a blanket declaration against women serving in the church. It is much more likely that he is telling Timothy not to let women in Ephesus do things that men wouldn’t be allowed to do either (e.g. lord it over others in the church or teach things related to astrology).

It seems very strange to me that we pull out a few isolated phrases Paul uses (1 Cor. 11:3; 14:34; 1 Tim. 2:12) and come up with this whole doctrine that women can’t ever teach, speak, or have public roles in the church. What about the whole rest of the Bible? What about how Jesus treated women? It seems just as misguided to me as those who take Paul’s statement, “you are not under law but under grace” (Rom. 6:14, NET) to mean that New Covenant Christians don’t have to obey God. We need to be careful about things like this, and test our assumptions (even if they’ve been assumptions for centuries of church history) to make sure they actually fit what God teaches through His word.

Motivated by Service and Humility

Image of two clasped hands, overlaid with blog's title text and the words, "When God uses a woman to do something in scripture, we really can't argue that the church shouldn't allow women to do those same things today. It’s not about who has authority; it’s about serving where God wants us to."
Image by Anggie from Lightstock

As we look at the roles we see women in the Bible filling or not filling, we need to be careful how we conceptualize authority related to those roles. The point isn’t to figure out who is most important (e.g. is it the male pastor or the female prophet?) but to serve God with the gifts He provides in the role He supplies. If God calls a woman to host the church in her home, that’s what she does. If He gives a woman the gift of prophecy, then she’s supposed to prophecy.

Likewise, if He chooses not to place women in the role of ordained pastor, elder, or overseer, that is God’s choice and the New Testament makes it seem like this is indeed the case (at least most of the time). Most men don’t fill those roles either; other roles are more commonly needed in the church. We’re not supposed to be jealous of or resent people who have roles that we think of as more authoritative than us any more than Jesus resents His Father for being greater than Him (to be clear, there is no resentment or competition between Jesus and the Father [John 10:29-30; Phil. 2:5-11]).

 Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well. You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had,

who though he existed in the form of God
did not regard equality with God
as something to be grasped,
but emptied himself
by taking on the form of a slave

Philippians 2:3-7, NET

No one in God’s church is supposed to seek authority roles for the prestige or the power. We should seek to serve with humility, the same way that Jesus modeled. In a healthy church following God’s lead, we’ll filter into the roles most suited to the gifts He has given us (ideally without doctrinal misinterpretation or other people’s “selfish ambition or vanity” blocking someone from what they’re supposed to be doing). It doesn’t always work that way because the church is composed of people–redeemed people working on becoming more like God, but still people who can make mistakes. We need to have patience with each other in that. For example, it is not wrong for me to want churches I’m involved with to let me exercise my teaching gifts (and other women to exercise their gifts), but it is wrong when I feel as if I deserve more recognition and responsibility than I get or when I resent other people who have the opportunity to use their gifts differently than I do.

Two of the things that we’re called to do is submit “to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:21, NET) and “through love serve one another” (Gal. 5:13, NET). We’re not called to seek authority or argue about who gets to be in charge. Ultimately, Jesus is the one in charge as head of the church (Eph. 1:22; Col. 1:18). The rest of us are here to serve in a variety of different capacities, but all of them characterized by encouragement, love, and humility (see, for example, John 13:35; 2 Cor. 1:24; Eph. 4:1-3; Col. 3:12-13). If we think any of this is about being in charge, claiming authority over others, or getting what we think we’re owed, then we’ve missed the whole point.

Featured image by Shaun Menary via Lightstock

Song Recommendation: “Way Maker” by Mandisa

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Why Does 1 Corinthians 11 Matter Today?

Why Does 1 Corinthians 11 Matter Today?

Marissa

In the first letter we have that Paul sent to the Corinthians, he wrote to address some specific things. Firstly, there were serious issues in this church. They were divided, arguing, and following different human teachers. They also had a big issue with tolerating sin, even priding themselves on how forbearing they were toward a man in their congregation living and sleeping with his stepmother. Paul had to set them right, and he did so by comparing them to ancient Israel and explaining how the Passover and Festival of Unleavened Bread apply to the New Covenant church.

In the midst of all this, Paul also talked about proper conduct within a church community. One of those passages is labeled in the chapter and verse model of our modern Bibles as 1 Corinthians 11:1-16. It’s a passage most people skip over because it has to do with headcoverings and hair length for men and women. It’s the only place in the New Testament where this topic comes up, and it’s one that generates a lot of debate, offense, and division so we tend to ignore it completely. But we miss something important if we skip this passage, even if we don’t agree on how to interpret it.

The Headcovering Passage

People often approach this passage as just being about women’s headcoverings, but it’s addressed just as much to men. Paul opened this discussion by saying, “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ” and praising the Corinthians for maintaining “the traditions just as I passed them on to you” (1 Cor. 11:1, 2, NET). He then made a statement about authority in the churches (the ecclesia, or called-out ones) of God.

But I want you to know that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ. Any man who prays or prophesies with his head covered disgraces his head. But any woman who prays or prophesies with her head uncovered disgraces her head, for it is one and the same thing as having a shaved head. 

1 Corinthians 11:3-5, NET

In my studies on this topic, I learned that culturally, Jewish men and women covered their heads with scarves or prayer shawls while Greek/Gentile men and women tended not to cover (though they could, mostly as a fashion choice). This passage would have involved a change for Jewish men as well as Gentile women. Men who covered their heads while praying needed to stop, and women who didn’t cover their heads while praying needed to start. Full disclosure, I do cover my head when at a church gathering or praying and studying at home. You can click here to learn more about why and the research I did into the topic.

Image of a woman wearing a hat and holding flowers overlaid with text from 1 Cor. 11:6-7, 10-11, NET version: "But if it is disgraceful for a woman to have her hair cut off or her head shaved, she should cover her head. For a man should not have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God. But the woman is the glory of the man. ... a woman should have a symbol of authority on her head, because of the angels. In any case, in the Lord woman is not independent of man, nor is man independent of woman."
Image by Irina from Pixabay

Context For Paul’s Next Commands About Women

So why can’t we just skip over this divisive passage? For one thing, it’s part of the Bible and if we admit the Bible is the inspired word of God, then there is value in every part of it even if we’re not yet sure what to make of it. This is a significant reason to pay attention to 1 Corinthians 11:1-16, but it’s not the one that we’re going to focus on today. In this post, I want to focus on the important context clues this passage provides for interpreting other parts of the letter.

As the letter continued, Paul covered instructions for keeping Passover correctly (1 Cor. 11:17-34), spiritual gifts and unity in the body (1 Cor. 12), the “more excellent way” of agape love (1 Cor. 13), the use of prophecy or “inspired speaking” in the church (1 Cor. 14:1-25), and proper, orderly conduct during a church meeting (1 Cor. 14:26-40). Paul didn’t address the topic of women again directly until chapter 14, but since he started out this part of the letter by addressing how men and women properly pray and prophecy in the church (men with their heads uncovered, women with their heads covered), we can assume the discussions about keeping Passover, having spiritual gifts and using them properly, and love are addressed equally to men and women in the church. The NET even uses the phrase “brothers and sisters” when Paul addresses believers, because the whole church group is included when Paul uses the word “brethren” (adelphoi in Greek). We all have key roles to play, and very similar responsibilities and gifts.

Then, we come to a place where Paul again addressed women and men separately, with different instructions for each. It’s one of the infamous passages about women being silent in church.

What should you do then, brothers and sisters? When you come together, each one has a song, has a lesson, has a revelation, has a tongue, has an interpretation. Let all these things be done for the strengthening of the church. … Two or three prophets should speak and the others should evaluate what is said. … For you can all prophesy one after another, so all can learn and be encouraged. Indeed, the spirits of the prophets are subject to the prophets, for God is not characterized by disorder but by peace.

As in all the churches of the saints, the women should be silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak. Rather, let them be in submission, as in fact the law says. If they want to find out about something, they should ask their husbands at home, because it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in church.

1 Corinthians 14:26, 29, 31-35, NET

If you read Paul’s statement about women being silent by itself, it sounds like women shouldn’t say a word the whole time they’re at a gathering of believers. This doesn’t make sense in the context of other scriptures, which show women were deeply involved in the churches. This is where 1 Corinthians 11 can provide much-needed context to help us figure out what Paul is likely saying in this passage.

“In light of 11:2-16, which gives permission for women to pray or prophesy in the church meetings, the silence commanded here seems not to involve the absolute prohibition of a woman addressing the assembly. Therefore (1) some take be silent to mean not taking an authoritative teaching role as 1 Tim 2 indicates, but (2) the better suggestion is to relate it to the preceding regulations about evaluating the prophets (v. 29). Here Paul would be indicating that the women should not speak up during such an evaluation, since such questioning would be in violation of the submission to male leadership that the OT calls for (the law, e.g., Gen 2:18).”

NET study note on 1 Cor. 14:34

Whether you think women should cover their heads today or not, the fact is that 1 Corinthians 11 addresses the proper way for women to pray and/or prophecy. Obviously women can, and frequently do throughout the scriptures, pray and prophecy outside of church meetings. But the context of this section of scripture is how to do things in the churches, when believers are gathered together, as for a formal church service. It follows, then, that Paul talks about how women can properly pray and prophecy in church in 1 Corinthians 11, then addresses a time when silence is more appropriate in 1 Corinthians 14.

Culture Adds More Context

Image of a woman wearing a scarf on her head standing on a beach, overlaid with blog's title text and the words, "Paul’s words on headcoverings and hair length generate a lot of debate, so we tend to ignore them. But we miss something important if we skip this passage, even if we don't agree on the interpretation."
Image by Milada Vigerova from Pixabay

It also helps to take the cultural context into account when looking at Paul’s writings. Now, there are right and wrong ways to do this. Sometimes, people say that Paul just had a backwards view of women because he was influenced by his culture and so we don’t need to listen to him anymore. But in reality, some of his writings indicate he was pretty radical compared to the culture of his day.

Likewise the women are to dress in suitable apparel, with modesty and self-control. Their adornment must not be with braided hair and gold or pearls or expensive clothing, but with good deeds, as is proper for women who profess reverence for God. A woman must learn quietly with all submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man. She must remain quiet.

1 Timothy 2:9-12, NET

We read this today and we might feel offended that he’d say women have to be quiet and submissive and can’t teach. People of Paul’s day, though, would have read “a woman must learn” and been shocked by that. This statement “was a radical and liberating departure from the Jewish view that women were not to learn the law” (NET footnote on 1 Tim. 2:12). Some Jewish girls received Torah instruction while they were young and if they had a good family they might have learned a little more, but women weren’t generally taught very much and they certainly weren’t selected for advanced study with respected rabbis.

Jesus’s interactions with women as spiritual equals was unusual, and Paul continued His practice. He also assured his readers, though, that women serving in the church, preaching the gospel, and learning God’s words did not mean that women were suddenly going to start taking over roles that God entrusted to men. Women are to learn, yes, but they will also be submissive in the sense that God expects. Women can pray and prophecy, but they won’t (or shouldn’t) be disrupting church meetings or usurping male roles.

We often miss it today with our modern perspectives, but Paul isn’t advocating for either the subjugation of women or for doing away with gender roles in 1 Corinthians and 1 Timothy. It’s actually a more balanced view than we often find in churches today, which in many cases either try to follow society in doing away with different roles for men and women entirely, or follow traditional (mis)interpretations of Paul that bar women from being involved. However you interpret the passage on hair length and headcoverings, it provides much-needed context assuring us that women were deeply involved in the New Testament church and they still can be in the churches today.

Featured image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Song Recommendation: “This Girl” by Lauren Daigle

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The Women At Pentecost: Valuing The Contributions of Unnoticed People In Church

The Women At Pentecost: Valuing The Contributions of Unnoticed People In Church

Marissa

We’re in the midst of the countdown to Pentecost, which this year falls on May 28 (just one week before my wedding!). Last weekend, I woke up very early Saturday morning and as I lay there staring toward the ceiling, Acts 1 and 2 started running through my head. I thought about all the women who were there at that first Pentecost after Jesus’s death, and I felt a need to write about them. And if you wake up at 4:00 am with a fully-formed Bible study idea in your head, it doesn’t seem right to just ignore it. I didn’t know where the study was going until I was polishing it up yesterday morning, but as you’ll see this isn’t just about women.

There were actually quite a few people there at that first New Covenant Pentecost, but we usually focus only on Peter and those listening to his sermon. To take note of the other people there, we need to do some close reading. Let’s begin in the first chapter of Acts. Here, Jesus spoke with his eleven remaining disciples before ascending to heaven and told them, “Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait there for what my Father promised, which you heard about from me. For John baptized with water, but you will be baptized with the Holy Spirit not many days from now” (Acts 1:4-5, NET). We pick up the story after they return to Jerusalem.

 When they had entered Jerusalem, they went to the upstairs room where they were staying. Peter and John, and James, and Andrew, Philip and Thomas, Bartholomew and Matthew, James son of Alphaeus and Simon the Zealot, and Judas son of James were there. All these continued together in prayer with one mind, together with the women, along with Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers.

Acts 1:13-15, NET

They were there “together with the women.” It’s plural, so there were more women there beyond Mary the mother of Jesus. We know it was “a gathering of about 120 people” (Acts 1:16, NET), but we don’t know who most of those people were or how many of those gathered were women. It’s interesting too see there are women there, but it shouldn’t be surprising; Jesus spoke with and included women throughout His ministry.

The next order of business was to appoint someone to take Judas Iscariot’s place as the 12th apostle. “The lot fell on Matthias” (Acts 1:26, WEB), and then they all continued waiting for Pentecost. Let’s jump back into the story at the start of chapter 2.

Now when the day of Pentecost had come, they were all together in one place. Suddenly a sound like a violent wind blowing came from heaven and filled the entire house where they were sitting. And tongues spreading out like a fire appeared to them and came to rest on each one of them. All of them were filled with the Holy Spirit, and they began to speak in other languages as the Spirit enabled them.

Acts 2:1-4, NET

There’s a chance that the “all” and “each of them” spoken of here only refers to the 12 apostles, but I don’t think that’s the case. There is no mention of the remaining 120 disciples leaving the gathering. And just because it’s “Peter, standing up with the eleven” (Acts 2:14, WEB) who addresses those in Jerusalem that questioned this miracle doesn’t mean there’s no one else there. In fact, by using a prophecy from Joel to explain what’s going on, Peter indicates that the “all with one accord” who received the spirit “on each of them” did include women and unmentioned men as well.

But this is what was spoken about through the prophet Joel:

‘And in the last days it will be,’ God says,
‘that I will pour out my Spirit on all people,
and your sons and your daughters will prophesy,
and your young men will see visions,
and your old men will dream dreams.
Even on my servants, both men and women,
I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy.
And I will perform wonders in the sky above
and miraculous signs on the earth below,
blood and fire and clouds of smoke.
The sun will be changed to darkness
and the moon to blood
before the great and glorious day of the Lord comes.
And then everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.

Acts 2:16-21, NET (bold italics are a quote from Joel 2:28-32)

God’s gift of the Holy Spirit was poured out on sons and daughters; on both men and women. This isn’t a revolutionary concept, but it’s amazing how many people throughout the years have overlooked women’s inclusion in the church as prophets and servants. I wrote last year about Christian women in the 17th century arguing for the right to teach using many of the same arguments I still use today to defend my ability to write this blog.

Image of a people holding hands and praying in a circle overlaid with text from 1 Thes. 1:2-3, NET version: “We thank God always for all of you as we mention you constantly in our prayers, because we recall in the presence of our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and endurance of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ.”
Image by Claudine Chaussé from Lightstock

Women in Acts

As the book of Acts continues, we see women intimately involved in the early church. The apostles continued preaching, and “More and more believers in the Lord were added to their number, crowds of both men and women” (Acts 5:14, NET). When Philip shared “the good news about the kingdom of God and the name of Jesus Christ, they began to be baptized, both men and women” (Acts 8:12, NET). When prominent women in a city began following Jesus, it was worth writing down in the Acts account (Acts 17:4, 12). Some of the believing women were mentioned by name, including Tabitha who “was full of good works and acts of mercy which she did,” “Lydia, a dealer in purple cloth,” and “a woman named Damaris” (Acts 9:36; 16:13-15; 17:33-34).

Some of the women took an active role in preaching the gospel. Lydia, whom we’ve already mentioned, provided a safe place for believers to rest and gather (Acts 16:14-15, 40). Priscilla and her husband Aquila worked together to share God’s word (Acts 18:2, 18-19, 26; Rom. 16:3). “Philip the evangelist … had four unmarried daughters who prophesied” (Acts 21:9, NET). And they’re just a few examples of the women who speak in scripture.

Just as women participated in the early church as disciples, servants, and teachers, so they had a share in the hardships as well. When persecution arose, Saul “dragged off both men and women and put them in prison” and asked for letters granting him permission to keep searching other cities “if he found any who belonged to the Way, either men or women, he could bring them as prisoners to Jerusalem” (Acts 8:3; 9:2, NET). Saul (who later became the apostle Paul) certainly thought the believing women were just as involved in this “new” religion as the men. Evidently he didn’t change his mind about that later, since Paul’s letter to Rome highlighted women who served in the church congregation (Rom. 16:1-7).

And you know what? There are a lot of “overlooked” men here in Acts as well; it’s not just women who might disappear into the background of the stories. We have records of “crowds of both men and women” converting to the faith and Paul dragging unnamed men and women to prison, but most of these men don’t show up joining the ranks of the apostles or mentioned as key teachers. There were a lot of people who don’t make it into the Bible accounts by name, but that doesn’t mean God didn’t notice them or that they didn’t play key roles in their local church gatherings.

God is Not Unjust

Image of a couple women holding Bibles with the blog's title text and the words, "The Acts account mentions "crowds of both men and women" converting to follow Jesus, but most of them fade into the background. Does that make them (or us) any less important than the more prominent Bible figures?"
Image by Shaun Menary from Lightstock

When I began this post, I wasn’t sure what my concluding point for this post should be; just that I needed to write and share it. However, as I kept pondering and praying about it I realized it isn’t just about women. What I’m taking away from this reflection is to remember that God values, notices, and involves the people who seem to fade into the background behind someone who’s more famous and gregarious like Peter (1 Cor. 1:18-31). They’re there, they matter, but they only occasionally show up later in other accounts as people teaching and serving in church.

For God is not unjust so as to forget your work and the love you have demonstrated for his name, in having served and continuing to serve the saints. But we passionately want each of you to demonstrate the same eagerness for the fulfillment of your hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and perseverance inherit the promises.

Hebrews 6:10-12, NET

As I write this final section, I’m realizing this is a message for everyone in the church who doesn’t do the showy things. It’s for those who quietly run the sound system and go unnoticed unless something goes wrong. It’s for those who set things up before services start and put things away after others go home. It’s for those who quietly visit widows during the week. It’s for those who don’t serve in a role with a title, but show up every week to “rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep” and contribute to the community with their faithful presence.

God doesn’t forget this sort of service because He’s not unjust. If we wish to imitate Him in being Just, we also will not forget the people who serve like this nor undervalue the hidden or “little” ways that we ourselves serve.

Featured image by José Roberto Roquel from Lightstock

Song Recommendation: “City on the Hill” by Casting Crowns

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What if the Proverbs 31 Woman Was Less Intimidating?

What if the Proverbs 31 Woman Was Less Intimidating?

Marissa

When I’m in a group of church ladies and someone mentions the Proverbs 31 woman, there’s often a collective groan. She’s such a high standard of Biblical womanhood that she seems intimidating–like we’ll never measure up to something like her and even suggesting we should is a scary thought. But is that really why she’s here at the end of Proverbs? To make us feel bad about ourselves or to show us exactly what a godly woman looks like? Maybe there’s a way that we can find her encouraging rather than threatening.

I will be addressing this post mostly to the women reading, and using words like “we” throughout. I apologize to the guys this leaves out. I hope you might still find some value in reading this, though. Perhaps you’ll think of it next time you read Proverbs, or the Proverbs 31 woman comes up in conversation, or one of the women in your life is feeling discouraged.

Translating Chayil

When we first start reading about the Proverbs 31 woman, we see a question. In the familiar King James it reads, “Who can find a virtuous woman?” (Prov. 31:10, KJV). I wrote about the translation choice here years ago in a post called “Mighty Women.” The Hebrew word translated “virtuous” is chayil (Strongs H2428). According to the Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament, this word basically means “strength,” which leads to translations like “power,” “might,” “valiant,” “army,” and “wealth” depending on how the word is used in context. Chayil is used of God’s power about 20 times, and of “valiant men,” “able men,” or “mighty men of valor” about 85 times (TWOT, 624a). Now look at how the word is translated in the KJV when used of women:

And now, my daughter, fear not; I will do to thee all that thou requirest: for all the city of my people doth know that thou art a virtuous woman. 

Ruth 3:11, KJV

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. 

Proverbs 12:4, KJV

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies … Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all. 

Proverbs 31:10, 29, KJV

Now, to be fair, “virtue” originally meant “force; strength; vigor; moral strength” (Online Etymology Dictionary). However, by the 1590s (before the 1611 release of the KJV), it had taken on the meaning of “especially (in women) ‘chastity, sexual purity.'” The KJV translators only used “virtue” for chayil when it’s used for women. Modern translations often opt to soften the sex-based translation choice by using “worthy,” “noble,” and occasionally “valiant” in these verses (see Ruth 3:11; Prov. 12:4; 31:10, 29 in WEB and NET).

Fixing the translation probably doesn’t make her any less intimidating of a role model, though. “Virtuous” carries some historical baggage, but noble, worthy, and valiant are still high standards to live up to. I find the more accurate translation a little more inspiring, though. And maybe clarifying how to translate chayil is a good starting point for approaching the whole Proverbs 31 passage differently than we may have in the past.

Image of a woman reading a Bible overlaid with text from Ruth 3:11, TLV version: "Now my daughter, do not be afraid! Everything you propose, I will do for you, for everyone in town knows that you are a woman of valor.”
Image by Pearl from Lightstock

A Mother’s Advice

It had been a while since I’d read through Proverbs, but not long ago I found myself back there reading Proverbs 31. (I think it was for one of the scripture writing studies our ladies’ group is doing at church.) This was the first time I’d read it since I’d started thinking about planning a wedding. I was also reading it, I think for the first time, in the NET translation. I’ll just quote the whole passage here so we can look at it together:

1 The words of King Lemuel, an oracle that his mother taught him: …

10 Who can find a wife of noble character?
For her value is far more than rubies.
11 Her husband’s heart has trusted her,
and he does not lack the dividends.
12 She has rewarded him with good and not harm
all the days of her life.
13 She sought out wool and flax,
then worked happily with her hands.
14 She was like the merchant ships;
she would bring in her food from afar.
15 Then she rose while it was still night,
and provided food for her household and a portion to her female servants.
16 She considered a field and bought it;
from her own income she planted a vineyard.
17 She clothed herself in might,
and she strengthened her arms.
18 She perceived that her merchandise was good.
Her lamp would not go out in the night.
19 She extended her hands to the spool,
and her hands grasped the spindle.
20 She opened her hand to the poor,
and extended her hands to the needy.
21 She would not fear for her household in winter,
because all her household were clothed with scarlet,
22 because she had made coverings for herself;
and because her clothing was fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is well-known in the city gate
when he sits with the elders of the land.
24 She made linen garments then sold them,
and traded belts to the merchants;
25 her clothing was strong and splendid;
and she laughed at the time to come.
26 She has opened her mouth with wisdom,
with loving instruction on her tongue.
27 Watching over the ways of her household,
she would not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children have risen and called her blessed;
her husband also has praised her:
29 “Many daughters have done valiantly,
but you have surpassed them all!”
30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting.
A woman who fears the Lord—she makes herself praiseworthy.
31 Give her credit for what she has accomplished,
and let her works praise her in the city gates.

Proverbs 31:1, 10-31, NET

I like starting with the beginning of chapter 31 because that clarifies the context for this passage. This whole chapter is advice from a mother to her son. It’s about the type of woman he should want to marry and how highly he ought to value that woman.

That’s an important piece of information. It clarifies that the stated purpose of this passage is not to say, “Here’s the type of woman that all women should be.” We can use Proverbs 31:10-31 as an example of a good woman who follows the Lord, but it’s not a prescriptive list for everyone. It’s also specifically about married women; there are aspects which can relate to singles but not the whole thing.

Image of a woman with her arms around two little girls overlaid with text from Proverbs 31:28-31, NET version: “Her children have risen and called her blessed; her husband also has praised her: ‘Many daughters have done valiantly, but you have surpassed them all!’ Charm is deceitful and beauty is fleeting. A woman who fears the Lord—she makes herself praiseworthy. Give her credit for what she has accomplished, and let her works praise her in the city gates.”
Image by David Clark Photography from Lightstock

Qualities of the Proverbs 31 Wife

As I read through the description of the Proverbs 31 wife, it seems like many of the specific descriptions could be summed up in general character traits. For example, “She perceived that her merchandise was good … She made linen garments then sold them, and traded belts to the merchants” shows us that she makes quality things and sells them. If we’re going to model her behavior, we don’t need to craft clothing; we need to do something productive with our time and make sure the things we’re producing are good quality. Here are the other qualities that stand out to me while reading:

  • Chayil–noble, strong, valiant
  • Trustworthy
  • Industrious and hardworking
  • A provider for her family and those working for her
  • Creator of quality goods, which she sells
  • Generous to the poor and needy
  • Fearless because she’s prepared
  • Wise and able to instruct
  • God-fearing
  • Accomplished, and given credit and praise for those accomplishments

Depending on when and where you grew up, you might have been told women shouldn’t work a job or get an education. You might have felt like your accomplishments should be hidden lest you appear too intelligent, too proud, or too intimidating. But the exact opposite is happening here.

King Lemuel’s mother supports the idea of a wife who works a job (specifically, her own business that she runs from her house while also caring for her family), manages and invests her own money, has wisdom and knowledge that she teaches to others, and who is publicly praised for her accomplishments. And that’s the kind of woman that she tells her son he should hope to find in a wife. (Perhaps the person who said no Christian guy would marry me after I got my bachelor’s degree should reread this chapter.)

We’re All Still Growing

Image of three women holding Bibles and talking with the blog's title text and the words "Becoming a valiant woman of strength, virtue, and courage is a process. The Proverbs 31 woman isn’t a standard to judge you against, but a friend you can imitate as you grow."
Image by Shaun Menary from Lightstock

When I read the Proverbs 31 woman passage most recently, I realized I didn’t find her all that intimidating. I wanted to mimic her, but in a good way rather than like I was under a weight of pressure. I want to be a wife for my soon-to-be husband who improves his life by being with him. And this passage reassures me I can do that with my talents, gifts, accomplishments, and knowledge.

Also, as I read this passage, I remember that God calls people “perfect” as long as they’re following Him and working toward perfection. Maybe the same is true here. If you’re working on following the Lord and growing as a woman of noble character, then perhaps you too can be described in the glowing terms of praise used here. I know many women–my mother, ladies at church, friends–who I’d say line up with this description of the Proverbs 31 woman pretty much exactly even though I know they’d say they’re far from perfect.

Reading passages like this, where we’re given an ideal to strive toward, should inspire us to keep doing our best and keep growing. Remember, our goal is “to build up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God—a mature person, attaining to the measure of Christ’s full stature.” (Eph. 4:12-13, NET). That doesn’t all happen at once, and that’s okay. There’s a reason the Christian life is described as one of growing and building. It’s a process, and becoming a valiant woman of strength, virtue, and courage is no exception to that rule. So maybe next time you read Proverbs 31, think of her not as a standard to judge you against, but as a friend you can imitate as you grow.

Featured image by Shaun Menary from Lightstock

Song Recommendation: “Overcomer” by Mandisa

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