How Do I Know If I’m an INTP or an INFP?

One question you might have after learning about Myers-Briggs® types and taking a few tests is how to tell two similar types apart. Maybe the online tests you took gave you a couple different results. Or maybe you started reading about the types and discovered more than one sounds a lot like you.

If you’re trying to decide whether you’re more of an INTP or an INFP type, I hope this article will help. Just looking at the letters in these personality types, we might think the only difference between them is that one is a thinking type and one a feeling type. This is only party true. When we dive deeper into the cognitive functions that describe the mental processes each Myers-Briggs® type uses, it become easier to see the differences and similarities between these two types more clearly.

If you’re not familiar with cognitive functions, you can check out my post “The Simplest Guide to Myers-Briggs® Functions Ever” and Susan Storm’s post “The Cognitive Functions – What Are They?” for a good overview of how that works. INFJs and INFPs might look similar at first, but they use completely different functions, as shown in this graphic:How Do I Know If I'm an INTP or an INFP?

The way these cognitive functions work together makes INFPs and INTPs similar in some ways and very different in others. They might seem near-identical in some ways, but they lead with very different functions and that makes them much less similar than you might think. Read more

Are You a Vanishing INFJ? Here Are 5 Tips for Keeping in Touch With People When You Want to Withdraw

One of my most popular posts on this blog is one I wrote back in 2016 called “The Vanishing INFJ.” Not only does it get quite a bit of traffic, but I’ve heard from several INFJs who contacted me specifically about the idea of them “vanishing.” It’s often something they hadn’t realized about themselves, but recognized immediately when they read my article.

Many INFJs have a tendency to drop out of contact with people. We get distracted by the world inside our own heads and might cancel plans, respond very briefly to communication attempts, or ignore other people entirely. Some INFJs might do this very rarely, other quite frequently. It depends on a variety of factors, including the INFJ’s priorities, maturity, personal growth, and how much social energy they have left after dealing with the people they come in contact with each day.

As an INFJ, you might think it’s perfectly normal to go months without contacting someone. You might not even notice it if you’re used to retreating inside your head for long periods at a time. Or perhaps you do notice it, but you worry about intruding on others and so you don’t like to reach out first. Maybe this time your vanishing is prompted by some outside influence, such as the social distancing regulations designed to help stop the spread of the Covid-19 pandemic.

As you become aware of your tendency to “vanish,” you might also notice that it can have a negative effect on your relationships. Assuming these are relationships you value, you’ll want to find ways of keeping in touch with the people you care about and not letting your “vanishing” get in the way. Here are five tips for keeping in touch with people even when you’d be more comfortable withdrawing.

1) Give Yourself Alone Time

This may seem a weird place to start a list of tips for keeping in touch with people. After all, “alone” is the opposite of keeping in touch. It’s one of the things that happens when you vanish.

INFJs are introverts, however, and that means we need a certain amount of introvert time. One of the reasons we may want to vanish is because we’re burned-out and need some time to recharge. Before you try to push yourself to reach out to others, make sure you’re taking care of yourself as well. Read more

How To Start A Deeper Conversation With Each Myers-Briggs® Personality Type

This pandemic might have us stuck at home and/or keeping our distance from other people. But that doesn’t mean we have to go without conversation. We humans are social creatures, and even the introverts need other people sometimes. And so we head online to talk with people on social media, or pull out our phones and call a friend, or join one of the Zoom hang-outs that people are organizing to stay in touch. If we’re still leaving our homes, we might have the chance to talk with customers and co-workers in-person as well.

But what do you talk about?

Assuming you want to move beyond the weather and other small-talk, then you’ll need to find a topic that the other person is interested in as well. When trying to draw others into conversation, it can help to know what things different personality types like to talk about.

I recently published two posts about how to tell which Myers-Briggs® type you’re having a conversation with: How Do You Know If You’re Talking with a Feeling or a Thinking Type? and How Do You Know If You’re Talking with an Intuitive or a Sensing Type? Figuring out which personality type someone has is going to involve talking with them quite a bit, so if that’s part of your goal then you’ll already be having a conversation with. Once you know someone’s type, or have a good guess which type they might be, then knowing how to start a deeper conversation with each personality type can help you move past small-talk to connecting on a more meaningful level. Read more

What Does It Mean When an Introvert Says You Don’t Count as People?

If an introvert says they “don’t think of you as people,” what do they mean? You might think that not being considered people is an insult somewhere along the lines of calling you sub-human. However, that’s far from the case when this phrase is coming from an introvert. We actually mean it as a compliment.

Being an introvert does not mean you hate people. Even so, for many introverts, “people” aren’t a group that they trust or feel particularly comfortable around. To quote Agent K from Men in Black, “A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it.” That pretty much sums-things up. An individual might be okay but as a group people aren’t necessarily all that great.

If you “don’t count as people” for an introvert, that means you’ve gotten past our lines of defense guarding us from the world at large. You’re in the inner circle of human beings who aren’t part of that big, scary mass of people.

Mapped to the Inner World

Introverts are people for whom the inner world is more “real” to them than the outer world. They live life from the inside first, and take that focus into their outer world interactions. As a general rule, people are part of the outer world. But it is possible for introverts to “map” the people they’re closest to into their inner world. Read more

10 Things That INFJs Find Extremely Annoying

Have you wondered why something you thought was perfectly innocent annoyed your INFJ friend? Or why you, as an INFJ, find certain things that other people either like or don’t care about the most vexing part of your day?

Myers-Briggs® personality types are a tool for talking about how our minds work. It’s a description of the mental processes that we use most comfortably, which come together in unique ways for each personality type. Because of the special way our brains are “hardwired” to function, each type has different things that they typically find annoying.

Of course, even if a group of people share a personality type there are going to be plenty of individual differences between them. Some INFJs might, for example, might have an easy time adapting to change or won’t care that much if someone interrupts them. In general, though, most INFJs are going to find the 10 things on this list extremely irritating.

10 Things That INFJs Find Extremely Annoying | LikeAnAnchor.com
Photo credit: Tim Gouw via Pexels

1) Deceit and Hypocrisy

One of the top reasons INFJs leave relationships or organizations (like churches) is because they get fed up with lying and hypocrisy. I put these two things together because they effect INFJs in very similar ways. Whether someone is directly lying to them or putting on a show of being something they’re not, an INFJ is likely to pick up on on the deceitful attitude quickly. It’s irritating, it breaks trust, and it drives INFJs away from the people who do it. Read more

2019 On My Blog: A Year End Review In Top 10 Lists

So we’ve come to the end of another year, which means another year-end blog recap in the form of top 10 lists. I wrote in last year’s recap that one of my big goals for 2019 was to continue growing my blog. That certainly happened. Traffic increased significantly between last year and this, and I want to thank all of you for visiting my blog and for sharing my posts with your friends. It means so much to me ❤

Posts With The Most Traffic

For the second year in a row, my ENFP-INFJ relationships post is by far the most popular. The other top posts changed quite a bit, and feature a surprising (to me at least) number of my posts about fictional characters’ personality types.

  1. Dating Your Mirror: ENFP and INFJ Relationships (published 11/11/2017)
  2. INFJ Dark Side (published 3/31/2014)
  3. Want To Date An INFJ? Here’s 15 Things We’d Like You To Know (published 9/18/2018)
  4. How To Tell If An INFJ Likes You (published 1/7/2019)
  5. 7 Fictional Characters That You’ll Relate to If You’re An INTJ (published 1/14/2019)
  6. INFJ User Guide (published 6/20/2016)
  7. Religion and the INFJ (published 10/17/2016)
  8. 7 Fictional Characters That You’ll Relate To If You’re An INTP (published 4/1/2019)
  9. Updated Disney Princesses MBTI Chart (published 12/19/2016)
  10. Fictional MBTI – Tony Stark (ENTP) (published 6/15/2015)

Top 2019 Posts

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