Have you wondered why something you thought was perfectly innocent annoyed your INFJ friend? Or why you, as an INFJ, find certain things that other people either like or don’t care about the most vexing part of your day?
Myers-Briggs® personality types are a tool for talking about how our minds work. It’s a description of the mental processes that we use most comfortably, which come together in unique ways for each personality type. Because of the special way our brains are “hardwired” to function, each type has different things that they typically find annoying.
Of course, even if a group of people share a personality type there are going to be plenty of individual differences between them. Some INFJs might, for example, might have an easy time adapting to change or won’t care that much if someone interrupts them. In general, though, most INFJs are going to find the 10 things on this list extremely irritating.
1) Deceit and Hypocrisy
One of the top reasons INFJs leave relationships or organizations (like churches) is because they get fed up with lying and hypocrisy. I put these two things together because they effect INFJs in very similar ways. Whether someone is directly lying to them or putting on a show of being something they’re not, an INFJ is likely to pick up on on the deceitful attitude quickly. It’s irritating, it breaks trust, and it drives INFJs away from the people who do it.
This point is closely related to lying and hypocrisy, but it often hits an additional annoyance-trigger for INFJs as well. They don’t like being controlled. Manipulation blends lying, hypocrisy, and attempt to control in way that’s very likely to set INFJs over the edge. It’s vexing and appalling to INFJs when they catch someone attempting to manipulate them or someone else. And since INFJs are typically very good at reading other people, chances are good that they’ll pick up on this sort of behavior quickly.
3) Pointless Conflict
There are some people who enjoy arguing for argument’s sake. INFJs are not those people. They find it very annoying when someone picks fights for no reason (even if it’s “just a joke”), starts a purposeless argument, or causes pointless conflict. INFJs prioritize harmony in relationships and if someone is going to break that harmony they better have a damn good reason for doing so.
4) Cruelty to Others
INFJs are generally a peaceful sort of people. They’re content to let many things they disagree with side and to overlook potential reasons for conflict in order to maintain social harmony. But if someone threatens another person, watch out. Many INFJs are hyper-sensitive to violence and cruelty. We find it annoying even in TV, movies, and books. In real life, cruelty to others makes INFJs mad enough that there’s a good chance they’ll step in and defend the person who’s being wronged.
INFJ’s lead with a mental process called Introverted Intuition. They tend to spend a lot of time in their own heads, thoughts wandering down a whole bunch of different pathways that may seem aimless but typically end up becoming part of a larger pattern. When focusing, they often have difficulty getting back into their train of thought after an interruption. This also holds true for when someone interrupts their rhythm of work when they’re focusing on a project. As such, most INFJs find interruptions annoying.
6) Dismissive, Condescending Attitudes
Like many quiet, peaceful people INFJs often find themselves being overlooked or having their ideas dismissed because they’re not “assertive enough.” INFJs are not weak and they’re not stupid, and it annoys them when others talk down to, dismiss, or patronize them. This is the sort of thing that INFJs will find annoying and probably stay silent about for a while, but if it continues they’ll get irritated enough to speak up for themselves.
7) Chaos and Sudden Change
INFJs tend to prefer it when their lives are peaceful and free from chaos. They don’t like sudden changes or not having time to prepare for things. That’s not to say INFJs can’t be spontaneous, never live-in-the-moment, or always hate surprises. But as Judging types, INFJs prefer to have a certain amount of stability and structure in the outer world. They like to have time to mentally prepare for what’s ahead, and having that option taken away is very annoying.
8) Shallow Conversations
Most people don’t really care for small talk, but we learn how to use it as a means to politely navigate the world and interact with strangers and new acquaintances. What annoys INFJs is when conversations always stay on the surface-level and never progress beyond small talk. INFJs crave deeper interactions and they find it annoying when they have to spend too much time on shallow conversations.
9) Pressure to Decide Quickly
Most INFJs prefer to take their time when making decisions, especially about something they’ve never thought of before. They find it annoying when people pressure them for a quick answer to something. Whether it’s what color they want to paint the walls or what they think about climate change, INFJs don’t want to be hurried (or bullied) into making a decision more quickly than they’re comfortable with. They’ll get annoyed when people don’t give them time to think.
10) Too Much “Sensing” Stuff
Since INFJs lead with an Intuitive function, the opposite function (Extroverted Sensing) is one that’s not developed very well in their personality. Having Sensing as their inferior function makes INFJs very sensitive to sensory stimulation. If they have to deal with too much noise, bright lights, quick moving things, irritating textures, etc. it can quickly become overwhelming and annoying (especially for INFJs who are also HSPs). Similarly, while INFJs do use their Sensing function to deal with every-day life, they don’t thrive when forced to focus on things like sensory details or their immediate environment. Getting stuck in a situation that forces them to rely too heavily on their Sensing side is going to irritate INFJs.
What are the things that annoy you most as an INFJ? Let us know in the comments!
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If you’d like to know more about the INFJ personality type, check out my book The INFJ Handbook. I just updated it with a ton of new information and resources. You can purchase it in ebook or paperback by clicking this link.