Today’s post is our 5th on Jesus’s model prayer. If you need/want to catch up on the previous posts, here are the links: “Hallowed Be Your Name,” “May Your Kingdom Come,” “May Your Will Be Done On Earth As It Is In Heaven,” and “Give Us Today Our Daily Bread.” As mentioned in those posts, we find versions of Jesus’s model prayer in two gospels. We’ve been focusing on the one in Matthew, which is part of the Sermon on the Mount when He’s talking about good and bad examples for how to pray (Matt. 6:5-15). There’s also a near-identical one in Luke, where Jesus responds to a disciple’s request that Jesus teach them to pray (Luke 11:1-13).
So pray this way:
Matthew 6:9-13, NET
Our Father in heaven, may your name be honored,
may your kingdom come,
may your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us today our daily bread,
and forgive us our debts, as we ourselves have forgiven our debtors.
And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one
We can think of this prayer as a helpful outline for our own prayers. We’re not locked into repeating it word-for-word; He’s showing us the way to pray rather than giving us a specific prayer to recite (though there can be a time and place for that, too, just like we can read or sing psalms other people wrote at times when we can’t think of what to say or the psalms/prayers speak to our own situations). In this post, we’re looking at the second personal request that’s part of the model prayer: “forgive us our debts, as we ourselves have forgiven our debtors.”
Forgiving Debts
“Forgive us our debts, as we ourselves have forgiven our debtors” is the only point in this prayer that Jesus explains in more detail. Right after wrapping up the outline, He adds this:
“For if you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive you your sins.”
Matthew 6:14-15, NET
There are two different Greek words used here, which is reflected in the English translations “debts” and “sins.” In the prayer, the word used is opheilema, which means “that which is owed” as “a debt” (Thayer’s Dictionary, entry G3783). It’s metaphorically used of sins. “Debtors” is the related word opheiletes, which as you might guess means the person who owes something to another (Thayer; G3781). This word for debtor is also used in Matthew 18, which we’ll be looking at in a moment.
“Sin” is translated from paraptoma, which means “to fall beside or near” or “a lapse or deviation from truth and uprightness” (Thayer; G3900). When it appears in the New Testament it’s translated with English words like “trespass,” “offense,” “fault,” or “sin.” Interestingly, this still isn’t the most commonly used Greek word for sin. That would be hamartia, which means “to miss the mark” or “that which is done wrong, sin, and offense, a violation of the divine law” (Thayer; G266). Harmartia is the word used for “sin” in the version of Jesus’s model prayer that Luke records (Luke 11:4).
Despite the different words, “forgive us our debts, as we ourselves have forgiven our debtors” is clearly connected with “forgive others their sins” so your Father will forgive you. Jesus uses parallel wording to make the connection, and the word for “forgive” is the same in both cases. It’s translated from aphiemi, which means “to let go, give up a debt, forgive, to remit” (Thayer; G863). When we sin, it’s like we owe God something because we messed up. When Jesus died, He paid the penalty in our place, remitting our debts. We need to understand this sin-debt analogy if we’re going to make sense of what’s going on in this part of the model prayer.
The Necessity of Forgiveness
It might feel kind of weird to think that God’s forgiveness of us is conditional on our forgiveness of others. We like to think of His forgiveness and grace as something freely given that we don’t need to do anything in order to receive. But though we can’t do anything to earn His grace or forgiveness, there are some things we can do to reject them. Later in Jesus’s ministry, He shares a parable that sheds light on the connection between us forgiving others and us receiving forgiveness from God.
Then Peter came to him and said, “Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother who sins against me? As many as seven times?” Jesus said to him, “Not seven times, I tell you, but seventy-seven times!
“For this reason, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his slaves. As he began settling his accounts, a man who owed 10,000 talents was brought to him. Because he was not able to repay it, the lord ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, children, and whatever he possessed, and repayment to be made. Then the slave threw himself to the ground before him, saying, ‘Be patient with me, and I will repay you everything.’ The lord had compassion on that slave and released him, and forgave him the debt.
Matthew 18:21-27, NET
This is mercy. The man was an opheiletes, a debtor, who was incapable of repaying what he owed. Just one talent was “equal to 6,000 denarii. One denarius was the usual day’s wage for a worker” (NET footnote on Matt. 18:24). That means for a typical worker at the time, 10,000 talents was equal to 60,000,000 day’s wages, or about 164,384 years of work. A slave could never dream of repaying that, just like human beings can never do enough to make up for the sins we’ve committed against God (Rom. 3-6). As readers or listeners, we’re supposed to appreciate just what an incredible gift this lord gave the slave.
After he went out, that same slave found one of his fellow slaves who owed him 100 silver coins. So he grabbed him by the throat and started to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ Then his fellow slave threw himself down and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will repay you.’ But he refused. Instead, he went out and threw him in prison until he repaid the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were very upset and went and told their lord everything that had taken place. Then his lord called the first slave and said to him, ‘Evil slave! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me! Should you not have shown mercy to your fellow slave, just as I showed it to you?’ And in anger his lord turned him over to the prison guards to torture him until he repaid all he owed. So also my heavenly Father will do to you, if each of you does not forgive your brother from your heart.”
Matthew 18:28-35, NET
The fellow slave owed only 100 silver coins, or denarii, so about 3 months’ pay (NET footnote on Matt. 18:28). It’s a real debt, but compared to what the first slave owed the lord it’s a tiny sum. The difference between what the slave was forgiven and what he refused to forgive is enormous. We can see how ridiculous he’s being. But it’s just as ridiculous if we refuse to forgive another human being’s offenses against us after God has forgiven our offenses against Him.
It’s not just crazy for us to hold on to a tiny debt someone owes us when God has forgiven us a huge debt against Him. It’s dangerous. Jesus doesn’t leave room for ambiguity in interpreting this parable. The lord takes back His forgiveness, and Jesus says, “So also my heavenly Father will do to you, if each of you does not forgive your brother from your heart.” It’s exactly like He said after sharing the model prayer: “if you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, your Father will not forgive you your sins” (Matt. 6:14-15, NET). There’s an “if” in these verses, making forgiveness conditional. We need to show forgiveness if we want to receive forgiveness.
How To Let Go
Earlier, I said that aphiemi, the Greek word translated “forgive” means “to let go, give up a debt, forgive, to remit” (Thayer; G863). That’s the sense in which it usually applies to forgiveness. But it’s a complex word, and it can also mean “to send away,” “yield up,” “let alone, let be,” or “to leave, go away from one.” If we forgive, we stop holding on to the sins, offenses, debts, and trespasses of other people. We “let it alone,” send away our resentment, and walk away from what we might be owed. It’s much the same thing as our English definition of forgiveness.
Notice that none of the things involved with forgiveness require the other person to take action. We can grant forgiveness–let go of resentment and yield any claim to payment owed us–without the other person asking for it. In fact, we should forgive as soon as possible regardless of the other person because we want God to respond positively when we ask Him to forgive us.
One of the things I’ve struggled with related to forgiveness is how to tell if I’ve actually forgiven someone. Some things are relatively easy to forgive, and you might legitimately forget them when you release the debt. There are others, though, that can still color your perception of a person even if you don’t feel resentment or think they owe you something. In certain situations, that can be okay. It’s not always safe to reconcile or restore a relationship, but it’s always right to let go of resentment and the feeling that someone who hurt us owes us for something.
“If your brother sins, go and show him his fault when the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have regained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others with you, so that at the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter may be established. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. If he refuses to listen to the church, treat him like a Gentile or a tax collector.
Matthew 18:15-17, NET
This short formula for Christian reconciliation comes before Peter’s question about forgiveness and Jesus’s parable about the unforgiving slave. Ideally, we should reconcile if there’s an issue with a “brother” or “fellow believer.” The primary goal is reconciliation and restored relationship. But if that doesn’t work after repeated attempts, you don’t “associate with such a person” (NET footnote on Matt. 18:17). It’s our responsibility to try to reconcile, especially with a fellow believer, but regardless of how that goes we have an obligation to forgive and “live peaceably with all people” (Rom. 12:18, NET; see Rom. 12:16-21).
The conditionality of forgiveness from God should prompt us to extend forgiveness to others. But I don’t think He wants that to be the main reason why we forgive (just like the threat of punishment shouldn’t be the main reason we obey His laws). When we realize what a great debt God forgives us, we should want to forgive others. Similarly, as recipients of God’s great mercy, we should be eager to show mercy to others. Like forgiveness, there’s a reciprocity involved in mercy: “Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy” (Matt. 5:7, NET) and “For judgment is merciless for the one who has shown no mercy” (James 2:13, NET). One of our main goals as Christians is to become like God. That involves learning to be loving, merciful, and forgiving just the same way that He is. When we pray, “Forgive us our debts, as we ourselves have forgiven our debtors,” we acknowledge that we have an essential role to play in giving and receiving forgiveness.
Featured image by Pearl from Lightstock
Song Recommendation: “Mercy” by Casting Crowns
Like An Anchor 