5 Practical Tips for Developing your Extroverted Feeling Function as an INFJ or ISFJ

30 December, 201910 November, 2020Marissa

Every personality type has its own particular strengths and weaknesses. For ISFJs and INFJs, their favorite strengths have to do with an internally focused way of learning new information and conceptualizing the world. But introverting isn’t the only thing these types are good at. They also have an extroverted “co-pilot” that goes by the name Extroverted Feeling. It’s a judging function that we use for making decisions and interacting with the world around us.

While Extroverted Feeling isn’t as strong as our dominant functions of Introverted Sensing (for ISFJs) or Introverted Intuition (for INFJs), we can learn to use our co-pilot function very well. It just takes a little extra work. Personality Hacker calls the co-pilot our growth position because developing it can jump-start our personal growth and give us fuller access to the strengths of our personality type. This sort of development isn’t easy, but when INFJs and ISFJs start to grow their Extroverted Feeling they often find that they have an easier time making decisions, feel less pressure from others, and are overall happier with their lives.

What is Extroverted Feeling?

Before jumping into personal growth tips, let’s take a moment to define Extroverted Feeling. If you’re not familiar with functions in Myers-Briggs® theory, click here to read “The Simplest Guide to Myers-Briggs® Functions Ever.”

Extroverted Feeling (Fe) is a rational, decisions making process. Like the other Thinking and Feeling functions, Fe prompts “us to note how things usually happen and to organize our behaviors accordingly.” It’s called a rational function because “Rational behavior is always based on predictability — things we know to be true because they happen regularly in the same way” (Lenore Thomson, Personality Types, p.39).

When making decisions, Extroverted Feeling types tend to focus on specific, personal criteria such as shared beliefs, values, and moral sensibilities when weighing their options. They also identify with others, readily pick up on unspoken social cues, and prioritize maintain social harmony. Fe types’ primary concern when making decisions is with meeting everyone’s needs and keep relationships working well. That’s why Personality Hacker gives this function the nickname “Harmony.”

5 Practical Tips for Developing your Extroverted Feeling Function as an INFJ or ISFJ | LikeAnAnchor.com — Photo credit: Pexels via Pixabay

Tip 1) Process Your Feelings Through Journaling

FJ types aren’t all that great at processing their own feelings or arriving at decisions in an internal way. We are external processors who need to get our thoughts and emotions outside us in some way before using our Extroverted Feeling to make sense of them. For me personally, there are times I’m not sure what I’m feeling, let alone how to process it, until I’ve extroverted my emotions in some way.

Pure Wisdom

28 December, 201927 December, 2019Marissa

Last week, we looked at how God defines His kind of wisdom. One verse in particular, James 3:17, lists characteristics of “the wisdom from above” and gives us a starting point for defining godly wisdom. The first characteristic on that list is “pure.”

What does it mean to say that something, in this case wisdom, is pure? Synonyms for this word include undefiled, chaste, clean, innocent, and sacred. In Greek, the word hagnos (G53) is very closely related to hagios (G40), which is the word used for a thing or person set apart for God’s holy use.

Purity and holiness are key concepts in scripture. We’re supposed to have these traits, and they’re part of the type of wisdom that comes from God Himself. Since they’re so important, let’s take a closer look and see what we can learn.

A Pure Bride For Jesus

For I am jealous over you with a godly jealousy. For I married you to one husband, that I might present you as a pure virgin to Christ. But I am afraid that somehow, as the serpent deceived Eve in his craftiness, so your minds might be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ. (2 Cor. 11:2-3, WEB)

Priests in the Old Testament were told to “take a wife in her virginity” (Lev. 21:13), and Paul extends this into a metaphor for talking about us as the future bride of our High Priest, Jesus the Messiah. He’s not talking about never having sex, though, or even never having sinned. The purity of a Christian is something we arrive at as part of a process. Read more →

10 Signs That You Might Be an INTJ Personality Type

24 December, 201923 December, 2019Marissa

INTJs are among the rarest of the Myers-Briggs® personality types, and they’re also among the most misunderstood. If you’re wondering whether or not this might be your personality type, here are ten signs that you might be an INTJ.

Individually, the signs listed in this article are true of more than one personality type. There are 16 different types in the Myers-Briggs® system and many of them share a number of similarities that can make it challenging to tell them apart. But if most of these points sound like you, then there’s a good chance that you’re an INTJ.

1) Your Mind Works Differently

INTJs are a rare personality type. Intuitive types only make up about 30% of the population, and your preference for Sensing/Intuition affects how you process the world and learn new information. A natural consequence of this fact is that INTJs’ minds work differently than most other people they’ll meet and interact with.

You’ve probably already figured that out, though. INTJs tend to think deeply about things and many are very aware of the fact that their minds work in a fundamentally different way than many other people. This difference has to do with the way the INTJ type uses their preferred mental functions. Read more →

What Is God’s Definition Of Wisdom?

21 December, 20195 June, 2024Marissa

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is knowing not to put it in a fruit salad.

We all have a basic idea of what wisdom is, even if the first example to come to mind is a humorous one. It has to do with applying knowledge and experience in a sound manner. The Bible has a lot to say about wisdom and its importance. Part of what it says involves clarifying that God’s wisdom is not the same as worldly wisdom. James writes,

Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show by his good conduct that his deeds are done in gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, don’t boast and don’t lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, sensual, and demonic. (James 3:13-15, WEB)

There is a wisdom that comes “from above” — from God — and there’s a wisdom that does not. James defines the wisdom from above in another verse, which we’ll come back to later. We need to be careful which wisdom we practice and what type of wisdom we praise.

Wisdom of Men vs. Gift of God

Paul also speaks of the difference between “wisdom of men” and the wisdom from above. One is about clever, persuasive arguments. The other is about truth.

My speech and my preaching were not in persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith wouldn’t stand in the wisdom of men, but in the power of God. We speak wisdom, however, among those who are full grown, yet a wisdom not of this world nor of the rulers of this world who are coming to nothing. But we speak God’s wisdom in a mystery, the wisdom that has been hidden, which God foreordained before the worlds for our glory (1 Cor. 2:4-7, WEB)

God’s wisdom is something precious, something hidden from people who don’t know Him. Once we do know Him, though, this wisdom is available for the asking.

Personality Type Myth-Busting: Are ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, and ISTP Types Live-In-The-Moment People Who Can’t Commit?

18 December, 201912 January, 2021Marissa

Most of us tend to oversimplify Myers-Briggs® personality types. Even the types we think of as more complicated and which some writers treat as almost otherworldly (like the INFJ) gets reduced to stereotypes. Some types are painted in broad strokes as boring traditionalist, others as logical geniuses, and still others as innovative daydreamers.

And then there are the SP types. They’re the live-in-the-moment adrenaline junkies and hedonists, who love to make art and party and never commit to anything. But is that really a fair stereotype? Or is it just as overly simplistic and unfair to these four personality types as are the myths surrounding other Myers-Briggs® types?

Roots of the Stereotype

When David Keirsey published his own personal take on the Myers-Briggs® personality types, he paid particular attention to the SP types. He’s the one who decided to categorize them together and labeled them the “Artisans.” He also called them the “hedonist” types and said they are looking for a “playmate” in relationships. Though he didn’t really use function theory to describe type, he mainly focused on the Extroverted Sensing side of their personalities to the exclusion of other factors.

This oversimplification of the SP types is one of the main reasons why I don’t like the way David Keirsey talked about personality types. He skips over their inner motivations (a problem that Lenore Thomson talks about in her book Personality Type: An Owner’s Manual) and leaves us with the hedonistic stereotype that has come to be so much a part of the definitions we use for ESFP, ISFP, ESTP, and ISTP types (especially the extroverts). Read more →

How Do Other People See INTJ Personality Types?

16 December, 201916 July, 2021Marissa

When we talk about the INTJ personality type, stereotypes are often the first things to come to mind. INTJs are the mastermind personality, smarter than everyone else. They’re also the villain type counting such characters as Moriarty, Emperor Palpatine, Maleficent, and Jaffar among their ranks. Common descriptors include aloof, intelligent, blunt, sarcastic, loyal, and cold.

Clearly, the people who claim Myers-Briggs® types feed you an unrealistically positive view of yourself didn’t read very many INTJ articles. Even the ego-stroking articles that highlight INTJ’s intellect almost immediately mention drawbacks like loneliness because of how they come across to others with their “take-no-prisoners” attitude.

I suppose it’s not surprising, then, that I’ve talked to quite a few INTJs who assume people don’t like them. I’ve also seen quite a few people online bear this out, saying they “can’t stand” INTJs because some aspect of their personality rubs them the wrong way. Even INTJs themselves perpetuate the stereotypes. For example, my INTJ sister suggested (half in jest) that I title this post “Are INTJs really unfeeling bastards?” and answer simply: “Yes. Yes, they are.”

With all that said, you might think this post is just going to be about how much people dislike the INTJ personality type. But once you step off the Internet and start meeting INTJs in person, many people find that they really do like being around people with INTJ personality types. And many INTJs find that they often make better impressions on people than they expected they would.

Intelligent

“Wow, you’re so smart” is a comment the typical INTJ hears quite often. The INTJ may or may not believe this. Some soak in the praise and think of themselves as intellectuals or geniuses. Others will deflect such comments, saying they simply work hard and that other people overestimate their intelligence. Read more →