God – Page 13 – Like An Anchor

How and Why To Find Your Spiritual Gifts

27 January, 202426 January, 2024Marissa

My husband and I have been moving my office furniture to make a nursery on the first floor of our house (we have steep stairs to the upstairs bedrooms, so baby won’t move up there for a few years). In that process, I’ve been taking all my books off the shelves and, in some cases, being reminded of some that I’d forgotten I had.

One of those is Live Your Calling: A Practical Guide to Finding and Fulfilling Your Mission in Life by Kevin and Kay Marie Brennfleck. The focus of this book is on finding your God-given purpose in life, which they break into six assessments: transferrable skills, core work values, preferred roles, personality type, compelling interests, and spiritual gifts. I mentioned the spiritual gifts assessment briefly in my “Finding Your Gifts” post from 2015, which probably means I first read this book about 10 years ago.

Finding this book on my shelf reminded me how passionate I used to be about spiritual gifts. I’d even had plans for an ambitious interactive seminar (back when I’d given two seminars and thought I might end up doing more) about discovering your spiritual gifts, though I didn’t get much beyond the note taking and idea gathering phase. I still think about it every once in a while, like last year when I heard someone at a church gathering hesitantly say they didn’t think they had any spiritual gifts.

Many of us wonder what our spiritual gifts are. If we don’t know our gift–or don’t think we have a gift–and we hear that everyone with God’s spirit is supposed to have a gift, we might feel discouraged or question if there’s something wrong with us. if we do know our gift and don’t know how to use it–or struggle finding opportunities to use it–that can also be frustrating. Figuring out what our gifts are and how to use them can help strengthen our relationship with God and feel more comfortable or confident in our role within His church.

Image of a young woman standing in a church group reading the Bible, overlaid with text from 1 Cor. 12:1, 4-7, NET version: "With regard to spiritual gifts, brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. ...Now there are different gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are different ministries, but the same Lord. And there are different results, but the same God who produces all of them in everyone. To each person the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the benefit of all." — Image by José Roberto Roquel from Lightstock

How To Find Spiritual Gifts

My interest in my own spiritual gifts started with a Bible study at church when I was in my late teens or early 20s. Our pastor at the time handed out a printed questionnaire that, when you answered honestly and scored it, was supposed to indicate which gift or gifts you’re most likely to have. One of mine was, by quite a high score, identified as prophecy. That was super confusing for me, so I started looking for other assessments and more information (I also wrote about this in a 2014 post). I eventually decided that I had teaching-related gifts, which could be described as prophecy/inspired speaking, instruction, or teaching depending on the assessment and which verses or translations they used as the basis of their resources. This blog is the main output of my spiritual gift.

If you want to learn what your spiritual gift is, an assessment like that can be a good place to start (if you’re curious, a Google search will turn up several options). But tests like that are just a starting place. They guide a self-assessment of what might be your gifts; they don’t provide a definitive answer, but they can give us ideas and insight.

I suspect that often, the gifts that we have are so natural to us–they become so much a part of our nature–that we struggle identifying them. We might not think of them as gifts; it’s just who we are. With that in mind, it can also be helpful to ask people who know us well what they think our spiritual gifts are. For example, I know someone who probably wouldn’t say he has a spiritual gift of service, yet if anyone in the congregation expresses a need he could fill or talks about a project that in anyway aligns with his skillset, he enthusiastically volunteers to show up and help. You might also have a gift that’s obvious to the people around you, but from your perspective is just something you do.

Image of ___ overlaid with text from Phil. 2:2-4, NET version: "Complete my joy and be of the same mind, by having the same love, being united in spirit, and having one purpose. Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well." — Image by Ben White Pearl from Lightstock

Gifts In Community

One of the key things, which I think is often overlooked in discussions about finding your spiritual gifts, is the importance of community. The gifts are meant to be used within the body of Christ, and I think it’s not too much of a stretch to say that they are best (perhaps only?) discoverable in a community of faith. In the famous passage on spiritual gifts from 1 Corinthians, Paul said, “To each person the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the benefit of all” (1 Cor. 12:7, NET). They’re individual gifts, but the purpose is to benefit the entire church community.

We’re so individualistic in the Western world; it’s baked into our cultural heritage. But if we approach our spiritual gifts from a perspective of I want to learn my gift so I know how God has blessed me and what He wants me to do, we’re missing a vital “we” aspect to spiritual gifts. As I talked about last year in “Reading Slowly Through 1 Corinthians 12: Contextualizing The Spiritual Gifts,” Paul emphasizes over and over that God is building a unified church led by Jesus Christ (with many groups scattered around the world, all acknowledging Jesus as Head), not merely working with individuals or separate church groups that follow human leaders with showy gifts. We are all in this together.

It is one and the same Spirit, distributing as he decides to each person, who produces all these things. For just as the body is one and yet has many members, and all the members of the body—though many—are one body, so too is Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body. Whether Jews or Greeks or slaves or free, we were all made to drink of the one Spirit. For in fact the body is not a single member, but many. …

On the contrary, those members that seem to be weaker are essential … God has blended together the body, giving greater honor to the lesser member, so that there may be no division in the body, but the members may have mutual concern for one another. If one member suffers, everyone suffers with it. If a member is honored, all rejoice with it. Now you are Christ’s body, and each of you is a member of it.
1 Corinthians 12:11-14, 22, 24-27, NET

God is careful about how He puts His church together. Everyone He calls into His family has a place in that family, and they all contribute to the health and unity of the body. All their gifts are essential to the healthy body. Paul reiterates this in another spiritual gifts passage, this one found in Romans. It comes immediately after Paul tells his readers “to present your bodies as a sacrifice—alive, holy, and pleasing to God—which is your reasonable service” (Rom. 12:1, NET).

For just as in one body we have many members, and not all the members serve the same function, so we who are many are one body in Christ, and individually we are members who belong to one another. And we have different gifts according to the grace given to us. If the gift is prophecy, that individual must use it in proportion to his faith.If it is service, he must serve; if it is teaching, he must teach; if it is exhortation, he must exhort; if it is contributing, he must do so with sincerity; if it is leadership, he must do so with diligence; if it is showing mercy, he must do so with cheerfulness.

Love must be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil, cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another with mutual love, showing eagerness in honoring one another. Do not lag in zeal, be enthusiastic in spirit, serve the Lord.
Romans 12:4-11, NET

The “Why” Helps Us with “What”

Image of two people with clasped hands, overlaid with blog's title text and the words, "Perhaps rather than studying ourselves trying to figure out our spiritual gifts, we should simply look for opportunities to serve within the body of Christ." — Image by Jantanee from Lightstock

When we wonder what our spiritual gifts are, I think the “why” of the gifts can help us figure out what God is enabling us to do within His church. The gifts God gives are “the manifestation of the Spirit” and He shares them with us “for the benefit of all” (1 Cor. 12:7, NET). We can’t separate our gifts–or ourselves–from the body of Christ, since “we are members who belong to one another” and our gifts are used in that context (Rom. 12:5, NET).

I, therefore, the prisoner for the Lord, urge you to live worthily of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, putting up with one another in love, making every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit, just as you too were called to the one hope of your calling,one Lord, one faith, one baptism,one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

But to each one of us grace was given according to the measure of Christ’s gift. … And he himself gave some as apostles, some as prophets, some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers,to equip the saints for the work of ministry, that is, to build up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God—a mature person, attaining to the measure of Christ’s full stature.
Ephesians 4:1-7, 11-13, NET

The specific gifts discussed in this passage are mostly ministerial and teaching ones, but the context is Paul urging everyone in the Ephesian church to “live worthily of the calling” from God, to love others and “put up with” them, and to make “every effort to keep the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace.” Pair this with the gifts passage in 1 Corinthians, and it’s not much of a stretch to say we’re all responsible for using our gifts to “build up the body of Christ” and to contribute to “the unity of the faith.”

In relation to faith, we need to move away from thinking of and focusing on ourselves as individuals, and move toward thinking of ourselves as part of the church that Jesus and the Father are actively building. This might be very hard if we’re among the many people who don’t have a church group to fellowship with, whether it’s because there aren’t any nearby or we can’t travel because of personal circumstances (e.g. age, illness). It can also be hard when we have a church group we can attend, but we don’t feel safe, comfortable, or welcomed there. We have a caring and compassionate God, and He is our lifeline to the body of Christ when we genuinely can’t connect with other believers. We can still conceptualize ourselves as part of something bigger even if we can’t physically gather together for some reason.

For those of us who can fellowship with other believers, we might find that our spiritual gifts are easiest to identify when we engage with that community. Perhaps rather than studying ourselves trying to figure out our spiritual gifts, we should simply look for opportunities to serve. If you start asking what needs there are in your church that you could fill, you might find yourself asked or drawn to fill the needs that most match your gifts (for example, someone with a teaching gift could lead a small group, and someone with an administrative gift could help manage finances). You could also ask close friends what they think your gifts are. You might learn that they notice a side of you that you didn’t even realize was there (for example, people might consistently tell you you’re encouraging, and then you could start consciously using that gift more often). The more we seek to build up and benefit the body of Christ–remember, that’s the reason God gives His people gifts–the more likely we are to realize that God really does equip us to fill the roles He’s given us in His family.

Featured image by Claudine Chaussé from Lightstock

Song Recommendation: “Here I Am Lord” by Chris Bray

Click here to learn more about these books or to order a copy.

Is There a Golden Calf in My Life?

20 January, 202419 January, 2024Marissa

Do you remember the story of the Exodus? The people of Israel–the nation descended from Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob to whom God made great promises–were enslaved in Egypt. They cried out to God for help, and He sent a deliverer. Moses arrived and demanded that Pharaoh let the Israelites go. When Pharaoh refused, God sent 10 plagues that proved His absolute authority. After the final, devastating plague, Pharaoh and the Egyptians were happy to see the people of Israel go. After just a little while, though, Pharaoh angrily pursued them, intending to wipe them out. But God parted a sea for Israel to walk through, then after they’d escaped He used the sea to destroy the whole Egyptian army.

Imagine what it would have been like to see that. To witness all 10 plagues, especially the final ones where there was a clear distinction between God’s people and the Egyptians. Egypt was in darkness for three days, but the Israelites had normal light. All the Egyptian firstborn died, the children of Israel kept the Passover and God spared their lives. You’d have seen an entire sea split in half, walked through on dry land, and then watched as it destroyed the army trying to kill you (Ex. 14). Then, as your travels continued, you saw undrinkable water turn sweet and began gathering manna that appeared miraculously each morning to feed the entire company of people (Ex. 15:22-17:7). And then, your group of former slaves was attacked and you ended up winning the battle (Ex. 17:8-16). Finally, you came to Mount Sinai and literally heard the voice of God thunder down (Ex. 19-20). If you hadn’t been convinced of God’s reality before, you must have been by now!

And yet, after God spoke the 10 Commandments and Moses went up to the mountain to speak with Him more, Israel made a golden calf and started worshipping it. As modern readers, we are often inclined to look back on people of the past and assume that we’re much better than them. How dumb do you have to be, we think, to have witnessed all God’s miracles and then decide a gold statue of a calf is the one you should worship?

Image of Mount Sinai overlaid with text from Exodus 20:1-5, WEB version: God spoke all these words, saying, “I am Yahweh your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before me. You shall not make for yourselves an idol ... you shall not bow yourself down to them, nor serve them, for I, Yahweh your God, am a jealous God” — Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

Aaron’s Perspective

Let’s take a closer look at this story. After seeing “that Moses delayed coming down from the mountain, the people gathered themselves together to Aaron” and demanded that he “make us gods, which shall go before us” to replace Moses, “the man who brought us up out of the land of Egypt” (Ex. 32:1, WEB). The Hebrew word translated “gods” here is elohym, the same word used in Genesis 1:1 when it says, “God created the heavens and the earth.” It is a plural noun, used both generically of gods but also of the one true God (much like the English word today). The people are requesting a visible deity to take the place of Moses. Now, look at Aaron’s response.

All the people took off the golden rings which were in their ears, and brought them to Aaron. He received what they handed him, fashioned it with an engraving tool, and made it a molded calf. Then they said, “These are your gods, Israel, which brought you up out of the land of Egypt.”

When Aaron saw this, he built an altar before it; and Aaron made a proclamation, and said, “Tomorrow shall be a feast to Yahweh.”
Exodus 32:3-5, WEB (NET notes th

At first, Aaron echoes the people’s request for elohym (and the NET translation notes that “these are your gods” could be translated “this is your god”). But once the calf is built and the altar constructed, he proclaims “a feast to Yahweh.” In contrast to the more general elohym, Yahweh is a very specific name. Look how God revealed that name to Moses, when He first called him to go and deliver Israel.

God said to Moses, “I AM WHO I AM,” and he said, “You shall tell the children of Israel this: ‘I AM has sent me to you.’” ¹⁵God said moreover to Moses, “You shall tell the children of Israel this, ‘Yahweh, the God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, has sent me to you.’ This is my name forever, and this is my memorial to all generations
Exodus 3:14-15, WEB

Yahweh is God’s proper name, which He revealed to His people for them to use. God is a description of the type of being He is, Lord is a title, but Yahweh is His name. I think it’s significant that Aaron uses this name here, rather than the name of an Egyptian deity associated with cattle like Apis or Hathor. Aaron didn’t present this as a different god than Israel had followed out of Egypt; he caved to the people’s demands to make a visible representation of a god and then he said worshipping it was worshiping Yahweh.

Image of a path leading into the desert overlaid with text from prov. 14:12, WEB version: "There is a way which seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. — Image by Alper Sevinc from Pixabay

God’s Perspective

Aaron’s description of the golden calf as the god who brought Israel out of Egypt is baffling to us. But how often do we do something similar, where we come up with an idea and decide we’re honoring God but in reality it has nothing to do with how He tells us to live and worship him?

Yahweh spoke to Moses, “Go, get down; for your people, who you brought up out of the land of Egypt, have corrupted themselves! They have turned away quickly out of the way which I commanded them. They have made themselves a molded calf, and have worshiped it, and have sacrificed to it, and said, ‘These are your gods, Israel, which brought you up out of the land of Egypt.’”

Yahweh said to Moses, “I have seen these people, and behold, they are a stiff-necked people. Now therefore leave me alone, that my wrath may burn hot against them, and that I may consume them; and I will make of you a great nation.”
Exodus 32:7-10, WEB

Whatever Aaron might have thought about what He was doing, Yahweh is very clear about how He viewed the golden calf incident. He was ready to kill everyone involved because they “corrupted themselves” and “turned away quickly out of the way which I commanded them.” Moses interceded on behalf of the people and God mercifully stayed His hand, but this was still a very serious offense. They had “sinned a great sin, and have made themselves gods of gold” (Ex 32:30-31, WEB). Even if some of them had thought they were in the right, it didn’t change the fact that what they did was wrong.

Image of a beautiful sunset over mountains, overlaid with text from 1 cor. 10:11,14, NET version: "These things happened to them as examples and were written for our instruction... So then, my dear friends, flee from idolatry." — Image by Kanenori from Pixabay

What about New Covenant Christians?

I wonder sometimes if there are areas where I’m just as stubborn as the ancient Israelites about doing something I think honors God but which He would tell me not to do (it’s a regular prayer of mine that He would show me if that is the case). We can say for certain that the New Covenant church is not immune to this issue, as demonstrated by Paul’s letters. He frequently corrects mistakes in people’s understanding of what is and is not pleasing in God’s eyes.

In 1 Corinthians, Paul chides the believers in Corinth for what the NET Bible describes as “immaturity and self-deception” (header for chapter 3). They’d broken into factions following different human teachers and they had an inflated opinion of their own wisdom. They’d even decided to allow sexual immorality within the congregation, and then boast about their tolerance! (1 Cor. 5). And there were other issues as well, which you can read the whole letter to learn more about. Eventually, Paul brings his readers back to the example of Israel at Mount Sinai.

For I do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters, that our fathers were all under the cloud and all passed through the sea,and all were baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea, and all ate the same spiritual food, and all drank the same spiritual drink. For they were all drinking from the spiritual rock that followed them, and the rock was Christ. But God was not pleased with most of them, for they were cut down in the wilderness. These things happened as examples for us, so that we will not crave evil things as they did.So do not be idolaters, as some of them were. As it is written, “The people sat down to eat and drink and rose up to play.” …

These things happened to them as examples and were written for our instruction, on whom the ends of the ages have come.So let the one who thinks he is standing be careful that he does not fall. No trial has overtaken you that is not faced by others. And God is faithful: He will not let you be tried beyond what you are able to bear, but with the trial will also provide a way out so that you may be able to endure it. So then, my dear friends, flee from idolatry.
1 Corinthians 10:1-7, 11-14, NET

One of the basic things that we need to accept when we commit to following God is that He’s the one who gets to determine how we ought to follow Him. It’s not a negotiation or something we come up with on our own. He gives us clear guidelines to follow. There are some things we can personalize–for example, we’re told to sing praises, but the style of music or the number of songs per church service isn’t specified. However, we aren’t given the option to change things completely–for example, eliminate music from worship or replace songs of praise in church services with songs that have nothing to do with God.

Examining Ourselves for Idolatry

AI generated artistic rendering of Israel at Mount Sinai with the golden calf, overlaid with blog's title text and the words, "We might think ancient Israel was stupid for worshipping a calf statue after seeing God’s miracles, but how often do we do something similar?" — Image AI generated with NightCafe

Music is a relatively simple example. While it can generate sharp controversy and very definite opinions, most reasonable people will admit that music tastes are subjective and there isn’t anything wrong with different styles (i.e. traditional hymns vs. contemporary Christian) provided the lyrics are Biblically sound. Many of the other topics can get more controversial. For example, I think the question of Biblical holy days (e.g. Passover, Pentecost, Sukkot) vs. more recently “Christianized” holidays (e.g. Easter, Christmas) falls into this category. I struggle to wrap my head around why people would keep days God doesn’t tell them to while ignoring the ones that He does.

When we think of idolatry, we usually think of making statues and worshiping them instead of the true God. But it’s more insidious than that and it’s still dangerous today. Paul warned us to “flee from idolatry” (1 Cor. 7:15, NET). John’s final instruction in his first epistle is, “guard yourselves from idols” (1 John 5:21, NET). The ending of Revelation makes clear that idolaters will not be in God’s kingdom (Rev. 21:8; 22:15). It’s a very serious thing, and it’s something we all need to examine ourselves for and make sure we’re not replacing God with some other priority, or trying to worship Him in a way that seems okay to us but that He would say is not the way He commanded.

Now that we’ve started a new year on the Gregorian calendar, I start thinking about the new year that will start in the spring on God’s calendar. This year, the first day of the first month on the Hebrew calendar lines up with April 9th. That gives us about three months now before we’ll be keeping Passover. Traditionally, the time leading up to Passover is a season of self-examination because that’s what Paul tells the Corinthians to do shortly after he gives them the warnings from Israel’s past (1 Cor. 11:17-34). Now is an excellent time to start taking a look at ourselves, and prayerfully asking God to share His perspective on our choices. Personally, I like to pray Jeremiah’s prayer: “Yahweh, correct me, but gently” (Jer. 10:24, WEB). We need His correction, and we also need His mercy when we’re asking for His aid to identify and overcome idolatry or any other sin.

Featured image by ian kelsall from Pixabay

Song Recommendation: “Here I Am Anyway” by Josh Wilson

How Should We Speak With Other People in the Church?

13 January, 202412 January, 2024Marissa

Earlier this week, my dad mentioned to me that he noticed the word “debate” is never used in a positive light in the Bible and yet people in the church sometimes argue that debate is healthy. Dad’s observation matched what I’ve heard, and I wondered where the line is between healthy discussions of scripture and unfruitful, even sinful, debating. I wanted to study it more.

Though we’ll spend quite a bit of this post on definitions and examples from scripture that highlight things we should not do when speaking with other people in the church, I think the take-away message is positive. There are so many things that God and His writers tell us that we should be focusing on in our interactions that there’s no need to dwell on the negative things. We need to know what we shouldn’t be doing so we can avoid them, but the bulk of our attention should be on building up, encouraging, teaching, growing, loving, and cultivating peace and unity in the church.

Some Background Definitions

In English, the word “debate” either refers to “a formal discussion on a particular topic in a public meeting” or to the action of arguing “about (a subject), especially in a formal manner.” Originally, the word came into English from “Latin dis- (expressing reversal) + battere ‘to fight’” (definition from Oxford Languages via Google). Arguing and fighting certainly doesn’t sound like something a Christian ought to be doing, particularly in light of how often God expresses His intention for there to be peace in His church.

In the Bible, use of the word “debate” depends on the translation. For example, forms of this word show up 11 times in the NET (Isa. 41:1; 43:26; Mark 12:28; Luke 6:11; 24:15; Acts 9:29; 15:2; 15:7; 18:28; 1 Cor. 1:20; Jud. 1:9) but only 5 times in the KJV (Prov. 25:9; Isa. 27:8; 58:4; Rom. 1:29; 2 Cor. 12:20), and the different translations use “debate” in completely different verses. The WEB version only uses “debate” once (Prov. 25:9). With so many different translations, it will be more useful to look at synonyms and at the Hebrew and Greek words that could be translated “debate,” “argue,” “discuss,” etc.

Hebrew words translated “debate” include rı̂yb (H7378) “to strive, contend” either verbally or physically. This one is used of human quarrels, but also of God’s legal right to “chide” or “reprove” people” (Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament [TWOT] 2159). The word medan (H4090) or madon (H4066) is another word with a root that has judicial connections, and it means “strife, contention” (TWOT 426c). Another word used is matstsâh (H4683), which also means “strife, contention” and comes from a root that means “to struggle” (Brown, Driver, Brigs (BDB) definitions). Here are some of the verses where these words refer to human activity.

The beginning of strife (madon) is like breaching a dam,
therefore stop contention (riyb) before quarreling breaks out.
Proverbs 17:4, WEB

‘Why have we fasted,’ they say, ‘and you don’t see?
    Why have we afflicted our soul, and you don’t notice?’ …

Behold, you fast for strife (riyb) and contention (matstsah),
    and to strike with the fist of wickedness.
    You don’t fast today so as to make your voice to be heard on high.
Isaiah 58:3-4, WEB

There are six things which Yahweh hates;
    yes, seven which are an abomination to him:
arrogant eyes, a lying tongue,
    hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
    feet that are swift in running to mischief,
a false witness who utters lies,
    and he who sows discord (medan) among brothers.
Proverbs 6:16-19, WEB

Clearly, discord strife, and contention are not good things for humans to engage in. In fact, God says that He absolutely hates people who go around spreading discord/strife/contention among other people. Strife and contention can even block our voice from being heard by Him.

Image of two men sitting across a table from each other, overlaid with text from 2 Cor. 12:20, NET version: "For I am afraid that somehow when I come I will not find you what I wish, and you will find me not what you wish. I am afraid that somehow there may be quarreling, jealousy, intense anger, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder." — Image by Claudine Chaussé from Lightstock

Ways of Speaking Together

It’s a similar situation in the New Testament as in the Old, with strong warnings against strife and contention. The Greek words that could be translated “debate” can be grouped roughly into two groups (based on synonyms listed by Zodhiates in The Complete WordStudy Dictionary: New Testament).

On the one hand we have eris (G2054), “strife, contention, wrangling.” Synonyms include “eritheia (2052,) contention, rivalry; antilogia (485), verbal dispute; mache (3163), fighting; philoneikia (5379), love of quarreling or contention; logomachia (3055), strife of words; paroxusmos (3948), paroxysm, incitement” (Zodhiates, entry G2054). Eris is the word that the KJV translates “debate,” and it’s not a good thing. This word and its synonyms have to do with fighting, contention, and strife. All together, eris and its synonyms appear 28 times in the New Testament. The only time one is used positively is Hebrews 10:24 (“provoke,” G3948). All the others are negative, as demonstrated by these verses:

For since there is still jealousy and dissension (eris) among you, are you not influenced by the flesh and behaving like unregenerate people?
1 Corinthians 3:3, NET

Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, depravity, idolatry, sorcery, hostilities, strife (eris), jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish rivalries (eritheia), dissensions, factions, envying, murder, drunkenness, carousing, and similar things. I am warning you, as I had warned you before: Those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God!
Galatians 5:19-21, NET

But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, quarrels (eris), and fights (mache) about the law, because they are useless and empty. Reject a divisive person after one or two warnings. You know that such a person is twisted by sin and is conscious of it himself.
Titus 3:9-11, NET

On the other hand, we have suzeteo (G4802) and its derivatives, which means “to seek or examine together” or to “discuss, dispute, question” (Thayer). In general, it means “to question, reason, dispute with someone” (Zodhiates), and the NET sometimes translates it “debate” because “this term implies emotional dialogue” (NET footnote to Luke 24:15). Synonyms listed by Zodhiates include “dialegomai (1256), to question, argue, dispute; dialogizomai (1260), to reason, discuss; eperotao (1905), to ask, to question” (entry on G4802). As we read these definitions, I think we can see that if someone’s trying to argue that debate is a good thing, they probably mean it in the sense of question, reason, or discuss. But are these words used in a positive light in the New Testament?

Image of people holding hands to pray overlaid with text from Rom. 14:13, 19, NET version: "Therefore we must not pass judgment on one another, but rather determine never to place an obstacle or a trap before a brother or sister. ... So then, let us pursue what makes for peace and for building up one another." — Image by Claudine Chaussé from Lightstock

Discussions: Accepted but Not Commanded

Suzeteo and its synonyms appear 103 times in the New Testament. 60 of those are eperatoa (G1905), which is used simply for asking questions and whether it’s positive or negative depends on the question and the motive. For example, its used of Jesus’s disciples asking Him questions, but also of people questioning Him in an attempt to trap Him (Matt. 16:1; 17:10). Paul even tells women they “should ask” their husbands if they have questions about something going on at church rather than disrupt the service to ask (1 Cor. 14:35). Whether or not a question is positive depends on the motives of the person asking.

Dialegomai (G1256) and dialogizomai (G1260) appear 29 times. These are used of “reasoning together” with other people or of pondering something in your heart. Often it’s negative or has negative consequences (Matt. 16:7-8; 21:25; Mark 2:6-8; 9:33-34), but occasionally it’s positive or neutral (Luke 1:29; 3:15). Outside of the gospels, dialegomai is most often used of Paul’s preaching style in the book of Acts (Acts 17:2, 17; 18:4, 19; 19:8-9; 20:7-9; 24:12, 25). Much as with eperatoa, the how and why of how you’re reasoning with other people determines whether such reasoning is good or bad. It is worth noting, though, that I find no instructions saying that God’s people should engage is such reasoning/disputing. Paul did it and it was okay in that setting, but that doesn’t mean we should all teach or interact with people like this, particularly not all the time.

Suzeteo (G4802) and its derivatives (G4803 and G4804) are used in a similar way. It’s used in the gospels of people questioning and reasoning together, sometimes innocently and sometimes with bad motives (Mark 8:11; Luke 24:14-15). It also appears several times in Acts, sometimes of people outside the church debating with Jesus’s followers, but also of Paul disputing with Jews and even with other apostles (Acts 6:9; 9:29; 15:2, 7; 28:29). Such disputes are not really framed positively, and the words are never used in the New Testament epistles as something we should be doing (though they’re not expressly forbidden, as the eris-type words are).

How Should We Talk With Each Other?

Image of 4 people walking into a church building, overlaid with blog's title text and the words, "Rather than engaging in pointless debates, we should be the kind of people who engage in and create the opportunity for positive, peaceful interactions at church." — Image by Pearl from Lightstock

If contention, strife, and disagreements are prohibited and reasoning, discussion, and disputes are not framed positively in most cases, then how should we be talking with one another?

You must let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but only what is beneficial for the building up of the one in need, that it would give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. You must put away all bitterness, anger, wrath, quarreling, and slanderous talk—indeed all malice.Instead, be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.
Ephesians 4:29-32, NET

Our focus shouldn’t be on questioning or disputing with one another, but on finding ways to strengthen each others’ faith. For some people, discussing questions of doctrine in a peaceful way may be beneficial so long as it does not stray into the realm of unprofitable disputations or foolish questions (1 Tim. 6:3-4; 2 Tim. 2:23; Tit. 3:9). But our focus should be on building up each other, being kind in our communication, and forgiving quickly when that’s needed.

Therefore, if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort provided by love, any fellowship in the Spirit, any affection or mercy,complete my joy and be of the same mind, by having the same love, being united in spirit, and having one purpose. Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well.You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had
Philippians 2:1-5, NET

There are so many verses telling us to focus on peace in the church, strengthen the brethren, speak encouraging or joyful things, and submit to each other humbly (Rom. 14:19;15:2; 1 Cor. 14:12; Eph. 5:18-21; Phil. 2:14; Col. 3:16; 1 Thes. 5:11; Heb. 10:24-25; 1 Pet. 5:5). We’re even told to “put up with one another in love,” since sometimes that is what’s needed to maintain unity and peace (Rom. 15:1; Eph. 4:1-3; Col. 3:12-13).

I can only speak for myself, but I always feel encouraged and motivated coming home from church if I’ve had positive, uplifting conversations about God’s goodness, His great work in our lives, and the depth of understanding to be found in His scriptures. Asking questions of other believers and turning to scriptures to find answers can also be uplifting, provided the interaction is focused on learning together rather than lecture or debate. In contrast, it can be upsetting, confusing, and discouraging to be ambushed by someone who wants to debate things that really have no clear answer (e.g. some finer points of prophecy) or which have already been settled to most people’s satisfaction (e.g. the divinity of Jesus Christ).

If I do have the opportunity to get into a debate, I often find myself eager to show-off my scripture knowledge or defend my beliefs, but based on Paul’s instructions to the Romans, Timothy, and Titus that’s the wrong response. The best thing to do is avoid such arguments. After one or two attempts to warn or correct a person who consistently starts this kind of contentious debates, we’re even instructed to avoid them (Rom. 16:17; 1 Tim. 6:3-5; 2 Tim. 2:23; 3:1-5; Tit. 3:9-11). Rather than engaging in pointless debates, we should take the higher ground and model a more excellent way. We should seek to be the kind of people who engage in, start, and create the opportunity for positive, peaceful interactions at church.

Featured image by Shaun Menary from Lightstock

Song Recommendation: “Let There Be Peace On Earth” by Vince Gill

3 Keys to Biblical Motherhood

6 January, 20245 January, 2024Marissa

I wasn’t quite sure what today’s post would be about until I’d been working on it for nearly a week. I knew I wanted to look at motherhood in the Bible, then as I studied three things gradually stood out to me as key points the Biblical writings emphasize. Society often places a ton of pressures on mothers to be perfect, and in the church it’s often described as the most important thing a woman can do.

For most of my life, when I studied women’s roles in the Bible and in the church, I was trying to find hints for what is expected of unmarried women without children. That’s a bit challenging, because instructions are often addressed to wives or talk about children. Now that I’m married and pregnant, though, all those verses are suddenly more relevant. I find it encouraging to study the Bible and see God really expects three basic things from mothers: pray for their kids, love their kids, and teach/train them in God’s way of life.

Image of a woman's and a toddler's feet overlaid with text from Psalm 127:3, WEB version: "Behold, children are a heritage of Yahweh. The fruit of the womb is his reward." — Image by Brimstone Creative from Lightstock

Praying For Children

I’ve long been fascinated by God’s interactions with the patriarch’s wives. He’s called the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, but He’s also the God of Sarah, Rebecca, Leah, and Rachael and we have record of Him interacting with the women as well as the men (God spoke directly with Sarah and Rebecca [Gen. 18:9-15; 25:20-26] and Leah’s name choices imply a relationship with Him [Gen. 29:31-35]) . Interestingly, all these interactions are related to their roles as mother. God definitely talks to and works with women who aren’t mothers as well, but for many women who talked with God, their interactions with Him involve their children. Either they’re asking for a child, or God’s telling them they’ll have a child, or they’re seeking God’s help with a child.

Christians are under no obligation to get married or have kids if they don’t want to (there are even verses where Paul counsels it could be best to remain single), but the Bible assumes that the majority of people will marry and that they’ll want to have kids. As we discussed in last week’s post, God loves children and He cares deeply about how His people raise the children that He gives to them as a gift.

She was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to Yahweh, weeping bitterly. She vowed a vow, and said, “Yahweh of Armies, if you will indeed look at the affliction of your servant and remember me, and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a boy, then I will give him to Yahweh all the days of his life, and no razor shall come on his head.” …

When she had weaned him, she … brought the child to Eli [the priest]. She said, “Oh, my lord, as your soul lives, my lord, I am the woman who stood by you here, praying to Yahweh. I prayed for this child, and Yahweh has given me my petition which I asked of him.”
1 Samuel 1:10-11, 24-27, WEB

I love that God listens to women’s prayers or even just thoughts for and about their children. We see this first in Hagar’s story, where she was clearly worried about her son but doesn’t even have to make a specific prayer for God to respond to her plight (Gen. 16:6-15; 21:8-21). We see it in Rebecca, who had a question about her pregnancy that God personally responded to (Gen. 25:20-26). We see it in Hannah (whose story I just quoted), who asked God for a son and received exactly what she requested (1 Sam. 1:1-2:11). From the many examples of praying mothers in the Bible and God’s careful attention to their prayers, we can see that praying for children is a key part of Biblical motherhood.

Image of a mother coloring at a table with her son and daughter, overlaid with text from Prov. 1:8-9, WEB version: "My son, listen to your father’s instruction, and don’t forsake your mother’s teaching: for they will be a garland to grace your head, and chains around your neck." — Image by Brimstone Creative from Lightstock

Teaching Your Children

My husband and I were both homeschooled, and we’re planning to homeschool our children as well. I’m so excited about this, particularly now that I have teaching and tutoring experience working with everyone from 5-year-old beginning readers to teens struggling with homework to Ph.D. candidates looking for editing help on their dissertations. I love teaching and I’m excited to teach my children and discover their learning styles.

One of the things that the Bible assumes (and commands!) is that fathers and mothers will both be teaching, training, and disciplining (disciple-ing) their children. When we look at Moses’s words in Deuteronomy about passing on God’s teachings to children, we can remember that his audience was “all Israel” (Deut. 1:1; 5:1). That’s the whole assembly of the congregation, men and women.

Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul. You shall bind them for a sign on your hand, and they shall be for frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall write them on the door posts of your house and on your gates; that your days and your children’s days may be multiplied in the land which Yahweh swore to your fathers to give them, as the days of the heavens above the earth.
Deuteronomy 11:18-21, WEB

When you have kids, God expects you to make His way of life part of their everyday learning. Even if you don’t homeschool, you’re still responsible for teaching your children the word of the Lord. That goes for both mothers and fathers.

My son, keep your father’s commandment,
and don’t forsake your mother’s teaching.
Bind them continually on your heart.
Tie them around your neck.
Proverbs 6:20-21, WEB

Mothers taught both boys and girls (for example, all of Proverbs 31 is “The words of king Lemuel; the revelation which his mother taught him). There’s a good chance that Jesus’s mother Mary was His primary teacher, since she was from a priestly family and spent time in the home while Joseph would have been busy with his work as a carpenter (Metsämuuronen, 2019). Jewish children of Jesus’s time grew up steeped in religious tradition, learning prayers, keeping Sabbath and the feasts, and eating kosher foods. They were likely taught “the contents of the main scriptures and proverbs” and learned how to “read something” from their mothers before beginning formal schooling at the age of six or seven (Metsämuuronen, p. 5). If there was a local synagogue, both boys and girls would have gone there to learn Torah until around age thirteen. If not, it was the parents’ responsibility to continue their schooling.

Teaching and training children in God’s way of life is still a responsibility for parents, regardless of how else their children are being taught things more traditionally considered school subjects. It’s not something we can leave to chance or hope they learn through osmosis at church or from our examples. We need to be intentional about it. As such an important responsibility, teaching and training children is a key aspect of Biblical motherhood.

Love the Children

Image of a mother sitting by a lake with two little girls, overlaid with blog's title text and the words, "Reading the scriptures shows God expects three basic things from mothers: to pray for their kids, to love their kids, and teach them His way of life." — Image by Anggie from Lightstock

Praying for their children is something we see mothers in the Bible do. Teaching their children is something they were commanded to do. Another command, which involves older mothers teaching new mothers, is to love our children.

But as for you, communicate the behavior that goes with sound teaching. … Older women likewise are to exhibit behavior fitting for those who are holy, not slandering, not slaves to excessive drinking, but teaching what is good.In this way they will train the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, fulfilling their duties at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the message of God may not be discredited.
Titus 2:1, 2-5, NET

It seems a little odd that the older women have to train the younger women how “to love their children.” We tend to think that love is something that just happens and people don’t need to work on it, especially for women with their maternal instinct. There are also hints in the Bible that it’s natural and normal for women to cherish their own children (Is. 49:15-16; 1 Thess. 2:7). But just like we learn to love a spouse more fully and deeply (rather than simply settling for impulsive, romantic love), we can also learn how to love our children better.

I know there’s a lot involved in being a good mother, but I suspect most of it is going to fall into these broad categories (based not just on Bible study, but practical observations of and conversations with mothers I know and admire). It’s kind of like how the entire law is fulfilled by truly following the command to love God and love your neighbor (Matt. 22:35-40; Rom. 13:8-10). If we’re praying for our children, teaching them God’s way, and loving them truly, then maybe the rest is simply details on how to do that properly.

Featured image by Pearl from Lightstock

Song Recommendation: “A Mother Like You” by JJ Heller

Putting “Spare the Rod” In Context

30 December, 202329 December, 2023Marissa

I’ve been reading through Proverbs in the evenings lately, and recently one of the verses about disciplining children caught my eye. There are several, but this one reads, “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child: the rod of discipline drives it far from him” (Prov. 22:15, WEB). As I read this, I wondered if rather than a rod for beating this might refer to a rod like shepherds use, as in “Your rod and your staff, they comfort me” (Ps. 23:4, WEB).

When we think about this topic, you might be more familiar with the phrase, “spare the rod, spoil the child.” This isn’t actually in the Bible but comes from a 17th-century poem by Samuel Butler called “Hudibras” where the context is whipping a lover to “raise passion.” How that particular poem ended up associated with Proverbs (to the point that I found an article published in an academic journal misquoting this phrase as Prov. 13:24) is a befuddling mystery. The Proverb with the closest phrasing reads, “One who spares the rod hates his son, but one who loves him is careful to discipline him” (Prov. 13:24, WEB).

Despite the phrase confusion with Butler’s poem, there are Proverbs about rods of discipline and children. In addition to the two we looked at, there’s also “Don’t withhold correction from a child. If you punish him with the rod, he will not die. Punish him with the rod, and save his soul from Sheol” and “the rod of correction gives wisdom, but a child left to himself causes shame to his mother” (Prov. 23:13-14; 29:15, WEB). Historically, these have been used to justify corporal punishment, even in some cases things that today we’d (correctly, in many cases) label child abuse. But it clearly does recommend disciplining your children in some way, so we need to be careful not to go to the other extreme either and never discipline at all.

As I think about this, particularly now that I’m pregnant with a little baby of my own, I wonder what useful lessons we can learn from these proverbs. I want to take a closer look at their historical interpretation as well as the Hebrew words used. We’ll also look at other Bible verses that talk about interacting with children to put the verses from Proverbs in their larger context.

Image of a mom and dad reading to two little girls overlaid with text from Deut. 6:6-7, NET version: "These words I am commanding you today must be kept in mind, and you must teach them to your children and speak of them as you sit in your house, as you walk along the road, as you lie down, and as you get up." — Image by Marcus from Lightstock

Jewish and Early Christian Perspectives on Discipline

One of the things I wanted to start out with was trying to figure out how people of Jesus’s day might have interpreted these scriptures from proverbs. As I mentioned in my post a couple weeks ago about putting scripture in context, you can use Google Scholar to search for academic articles on pretty much any subject you like. For this topic, I searched “corporal punishment of children in first century judaism.” Not all the resulting articles were available to read for free, but I found a few that shed some light on this topic.

Ancient context for Proverbs

Beginning with the earliest textual evidence covered by the articles I found, John Fitzgerald (2008) examines texts from Sumerian, Assyria, and Egypt to put the Proverbs discussion into an ancient perspective. He assumes that the author of proverbs refers to beating children–particularly boys–with a literal rod, in the tradition of other ancient texts which discuss beating and caning students and even locking them up in stocks if they misbehaved. He cites Proverbs and the apocryphal Book of Sirach as evidence that “the practice of whipping one’s children for disciplinary purposes was widely practiced among the ancient Israelites and Second Temple Jews” (p. 301).

With those background assumptions established, Fitzgerald turns to a comparison of Proverbs 3:11-12 and Hebrews 12:5-6. In the Masoretic Hebrew text, this verse speaks of a father disciplining his children. In the Septuagint, quoted by the author of Hebrews, the text speaks of whipping a child. However, Fitzgerald does point out that the author of Hebrews “stresses sonship and discipline, not corporal punishment per se,” though he maintains painful punishment is implicit in the text (p. 313). It is interesting to compare the Biblical texts and Jewish writings with other cultural practices of the same time, but I do not think that the other texts can offer proof that Jewish families followed their neighbors’ example or that God expected them to. More often when God instructs His people on regarding the example of other nations, He’s saying not to do as they do (Deut. 12:29-31; Josh. 23:6-8). We can’t use the other ancient instructional texts as definite proof that the ancient Israelites practiced the same type or degree of corporal punishment (though there is evidence of corporal punishment being used in some way).

The New Testament period

On the topic of education of children in the New Testament period, Margaret Y. MacDonald (2012) points out in an introduction to “Special Issue on Children and Childhood in Early Judaism and Early Christianity” that examinations of early Christian ideas on children and childrearing should also take into context the Greek and Roman world of the time as well as Judaism. Particularly “for the first two centuries CE, the use of the categories of Judaism and Christianity is in many ways misleading and problematic” because there is so much overlap between the two traditions” (no page numbers). These overlaps between the two traditions include the Jewish and Christian “approach to education” and “emphasis on the authority of parents and obedience of children.”

One of the articles in this special issue examines the Dead Sea Scrolls for texts related to children’s education. In this article, Cecilia Wassen (2012) highlights that at least this one Jewish sect instructed a teacher called the Examiner “to teach the children ‘[in a spi]rit of hu[mi]lity and lov[ing-kindness]’ and ‘not keep a grudge against th[em] with wrathful an[ger]’” (p. 357, brackets in original). This case where a teacher was “admonished to be gentle to his young students is a sharp contrast to Roman teaching methods and to one case from the Mishna (a written collection of Jewish oral traditions) where a teacher “who had beaten a student to death” was absolved from guilt (p. 357). It appears that in the first century, much like today, there were sharp differences in interpretations of the Biblical instructions to train up children to follow God’s way of life. Some teachers were admonished to be gentle and exercise loving kindness, while others were allowed to beat children.

Modern views on discipline

Taking a more modern look at this topic, Tamar Morag (2011) examines current laws on corporal punishment in the United States and Israel through a historic-religious lens, arguing that Puritan and Protestant interpretations of the Bible have protected parental rights to physically punish children in the U.S. while Jewish interpretations have moved away from corporal punishment. For the U.S., historic interpretations were largely driven by the notion of original sin and the need for punishment and correction to drive evil out of the child. That view isn’t really found in Judaism, and educators in Israel have different views on the verses in Proverbs.

Morag cites Yitzhak Levi, a minister of education writing in 1993, and his interpretation of the verse “He that spares his rod hates his son, but he that loves him chastises him early.” Levi wrote that, “‘love’ and not ‘hate’ is the higher virtue. What does ‘he who loves’ do? He . . . knows how to anticipate things so that he will not need to use the rod. This educational approach is better, and conveys love for the child” (qtd. in Morag, p. 355-6). Another writer, this time a judge, concluded that “rod” refers to “tongue-strapping” (p. 357). That’s not to say there aren’t any interpretations of these verses in modern Judaism that support corporal punishment, but it is the interpretations against physical punishment that became law in modern Israel.

Citations:

Image of a mom drawing with her daughter and son overlaid with text from Prov. 22:6, NET version: "Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it." — Image by Brimstone Creative from Lightstock

What is a “Rod”?

In Morag’s article comparing religious influence on laws regarding corporal punishment of children in the United States and Israel, she blames Puritan/Protestant emphasis on “abiding by the literal text of the Scriptures” for the focus on physically punishing children (p. 348). Perhaps it’s my own U.S. Christian upbringing influencing this, but I also think there is great value in taking the Bible at face-value and interpreting (at least parts of it) literally. However, being able to do that depends on a few things. First, we need to determine if the author intended the passage to be literal (as there are plenty of figurative and allegorical things in the Bible). Second, we need to be working with a correct translation.

The literal meaning of an English word does not necessarily match the literal meaning of a Hebrew word it’s translating, particularly when the Hebrew carries nuances not present in English. Our cultural and linguistic biases could also get in the way, and something we might think is a literal interpretation of scripture could be far off from the original meaning. For example, the KJV “Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell” (Prov. 23:14) could be read as corporal punishment keeping children from an ever burning hellfire, but in Hebrew the word sheol simply means “the land of the dead” (Morag p. 348). This verse is about discipling a child so they’ll live and not die, rather than commenting on the eternal fate of the child’s soul. In this case, a translation choice and assumptions made about the afterlife dramatically change the potential “literal” readings of the passage.

In the book of Proverbs, the verses that speak of disciplining a child with a “rod” use the Hebrew word shêbeṭ (H7626). This is an interesting word with a range of meanings including “rod, staff, branch, offshoot, club, sceptre, tribe” (Brown, Driver, Briggs). It is also the same word used of a shepherd’s rod in Psalm 23. Depending on the context, it can refer to a rod for correction, a weapon, a shepherd’s tool, or a ruler’s scepter as a mark of authority (Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament [TWOT] 2314a). The TWOT highlights a connection between smiting and ruling authority. They also state that the use of shêbeṭ in Proverbs is as “the symbol of discipline, and failure to use the preventative discipline of verbal rebuke and the corrective discipline of physical punishment will end in the child’s death.” Though “rod” is a perfectly acceptable translation, I can’t help but wonder how different our modern English interpretations of these proverbs might be if an early translator had decided that “authority to correct” was a better translation than “rod.”

In the verses that speak of beating with this rod, the word for “beat” is nâkâh (H5221). It basically means “smite, strike, hit, beat, slay, kill,” with a range of meanings that include a single slap on the face, clapping hands before a king, beating or scourging as punishment, or even to strike someone dead in warfare, murder, or by accident (TWOT 1364). Again, I wonder how our views on this topic might be different today if the KJV translators had said something like “Don’t withhold correction from a child, for if you slap him with your authority to discipline, he will not die” rather than “Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die” (Prov. 23:13, KJV).

Image of a woman's and a child's feet as they sit together overlaid with text from Psalm 127:3, WEB version: "Behold, children are a heritage of Yahweh. The fruit of the womb is his reward." — Image by Brimstone Creative from Lightstock

Contextualizing the Verses About Children

So far, we’ve looked at historic and linguistic contexts for the verses in Proverbs. Now, let’s look at them in relation to other Bible verses that talk about how parents ought to relate to children. Interestingly, Proverbs is the only book that talks about using a rod on your children. Overall, the Biblical emphasis is on teaching and good discipline. There are a lot of scriptures in this section, but I think quoting them all rather than just summarizing them will be the best way to get a clearer picture of the Biblical teachings on this topic.

Hear, Israel: Yahweh is our God. Yahweh is one. You shall love Yahweh your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. These words, which I command you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise up.
Deuteronomy 6:4-7, WEB

Train up a child in the way he should go,
and when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6, WEB

Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child,
but a rod of discipline will drive it far from him.
Proverbs 22:15, TLV

Don’t withhold correction from a child.
If you punish him with the rod, he will not die.
Punish him with the rod,
and save his soul from Sheol.
Proverbs 23:13-14, WEB

A rod and reproof impart wisdom,
but a child who is unrestrained brings shame to his mother.
Proverbs 29: 15, NET

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.“Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment accompanied by a promise, namely,“that it will go well with you and that you will live a long time on the earth.”

Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but raise them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:1-4, NET (bold italics mark quotations from Exod 20:12 and Deut 5:16)

Children, obey your parents in everything, for this is pleasing in the Lord. Fathers, do not provoke your children, so they will not become disheartened.
Colossians 3:20-21, NET

As you know, we treated each one of you as a father treats his own children,exhorting and encouraging you and insisting that you live in a way worthy of God who calls you to his own kingdom and his glory.
1 Thessalonians 2:11-12, NET

This saying is trustworthy: “If someone aspires to the office of overseer (episkopos, bishop, church leader) , he desires a good work.” The overseer then must be above reproach …He must manage his own household well and keep his children in control without losing his dignity.
1 Timothy 3:1-2, 4, NET

say the things which fit sound doctrine, … that older women [should be] … teachers of that which is good, that they may train the young wives to love their husbands, to love their children,
Titus 2:1, 3-4, WEB

We could also look at other verses that show the high value God places on children. In the Old Testament, God was horrified and disgusted that people would even think of killing their own children in sacrifice to other gods, and He strictly forbid it (Lev. 18:21; Deut. 12:30-31; Jer. 19:4-5). He notices children even when they’re inside the womb (Gen. 25:22-24; Ps. 71:5-6; 139:13; Is. 44:2; Jer. 1:4-5). Scripture also teaches God’s people that we should see our children as a gift that comes from Him (Gen. 33:5; Psalm 127:3-5).

When His disciples tried to keep babies and children from coming to Jesus, He rebuked them and welcomed the little ones (Matt. 19:13-15; Luke 18:15-17). Peter pointed out that God is granting repentance and giving the promise of the Holy Spirit not only to those He calls, but to their children as well (Acts 2:39). Paul told us that the Lord sees His people’s children (even if they only have one believing parent) as holy to Him (1 Cor. 7:14). Children are precious in God’s eyes, and He cares deeply about how we treat our own children and other children we come into contact with. Most especially, He wants us to teach our children His way of life for their benefit.

Concluding Thoughts

Image of a dad holding a little girl's hand as she walks, overlaid with blog's title text and the words, "Exactly how to raise godly children is a hotly debated topic, but one thing that is clear is the Biblical emphasis on loving, disciplining, teaching, and nurturing children to follow God's way. — Image by Shaun Menaryfrom Lightstock

Without the verses in Proverbs, we might not even think the Bible allows or encourages corporal punishment. The emphasis overall is on guiding, teaching, and nurturing children to follow God’s way. Discipline is a key part of that, but discipline that is in keeping with love and does not anger or discourage children. The proverbs verses serve more, I think, to show that the Bible teaches certain types of corporal punishment can be included in discipline when appropriate rather than to say everyone should beat their children.

Clearly, the degree to which corporal punishment should or can be used is an ongoing debate and has been for centuries. The Essenes sect responsible for the Dead Sea scrolls advocated gentle teaching and correction methods, while another Jewish group absolved from guilt a teacher who beat his student to death (Wassen, 2012). Some Bible verses talk about discipline and instruction of children without mentioning corporal punishment, while proverbs of Solomon advocate it as an option (though I think it’s also worth mentioning that Solomon’s child we have details about didn’t turn out so great [1 Kings 11:43-12:19]).

That there should be clear expectations for behavior and logical consequences for disobedience is borne out by psychological research into child development. This research “consistently finds that logical consequences are related to improved behavior and mental health in children” (Psychology Today, “When Gentle Parenting Doesn’t Work”). It’s also in keeping with Biblical admonitions like, “Train a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it” (Prov. 22:6, NET). I also think the type of discipline used should take the individual child into account. For me, I really didn’t care if I was spanked, but if Dad looked disappointed or Mom took away my books for a day those were meaningful consequences. In contrast, you can also find people who say they were glad their parents spanked them because that was the consequence that made sense to them.

If you were looking for a clear answer like “here’s exactly how you should discipline and raise children in a godly way,” I’m afraid I don’t have that. I’m also not here to make public my and my husband’s decisions we’re making about child rearing. I just wanted to study this topic this week, and share some food for thought. God places a high emphasis on parental responsibility, which includes teaching your children about His way and raising them to follow Him, as well as studying to determine how that should be done. It’s a weighty, precious responsibility.

Featured image by David Clark Photography from Lightstock

Song Recommendation: “Watching You” by Rodney Atkins

So Many Reasons to Praise

23 December, 202322 December, 2023Marissa

When we think of ways to deepen our relationship with God, we often think of things like Bible study, prayer, scripture-based meditation, and fasting. That’s what I typically hear are the best “tools” for connecting with God. As vital as those are, I think we could add “praise” to that list as well.

Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of our lips, acknowledging his name.
Hebrews 13:15, NET

Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray. Is anyone in good spirits? He should sing praises.
James 5:13, NET

The type of praise James mentions is relatively easy for us. When we’re happy and things are going well, it’s easy to praise God (provided we remember that He’s the one to thank for our blessings). But the author of Hebrews also says we should continually offer up praise to God as a type of sacrifice. That can be a little bit harder. We might fall into a routine of thanking and praising God for the same things in our life, and not be sure what else to add. Or we might be in a season where there doesn’t seem to be anything in our lives to praise God for.

The psalms provide a wealth of ideas for reasons to praise God, and many of them have nothing to do with our personal circumstances. Keeping these in mind can be helpful whether we’re struggling to praise, or if we’ve simply fallen into a routine and want to connect more deeply with Him.

Praise His Name

In the WEB translation (which is my favorite to use for Old Testament), there are 28 verses in psalms that speak of praising God’s name (out of a total of 151 uses of “Praise” in the whole book).

I will give thanks to Yahweh according to his righteousness, and will sing praise to the name of Yahweh Most High.
Psalm 7:17, WEB

Sing to God! Sing praises to his name! Extol him who rides on the clouds: to Yah, his name! Rejoice before him!
Psalm 68:4, WEB

From the rising of the sun to its going down, Yahweh’s name is to be praised.
Psalm 113:3, WEB

let them praise Yahweh’s name,
for his name alone is exalted.
His glory is above the earth and the heavens.
Psalm 148:13, WEB

One of the main reasons to praise the Lord is because He is worthy of it (Ps. 18:3). His nature, name, and reputation should inspire us to praise Him.

Image of a happy man playing piano overlaid with text from Psalm 135:3, WEB version: "Praise Yah, for Yahweh is good. Sing praises to his name, for that is pleasant." — Image by Ben White from Lightstock

Praise Because He Deserves Respect

If we respect God, revere Him, and live righteously, then the psalms present praise as a natural response. Those who fear God praise Him. Those who are righteous do as well. When we’re living godly lives, praise is a natural “fruit of our lips” (Heb. 13:15).

You who fear Yahweh, praise him! All you descendants of Jacob, glorify him! Stand in awe of him, all you descendants of Israel!
Psalm 22:23, WEB

For Yahweh is great, and greatly to be praised!
He is to be feared above all gods.
Psalm 96:4, WEB

Sing praises to God! Sing praises!
Sing praises to our King! Sing praises!
For God is the King of all the earth.
Sing praises with understanding.
Psalm 47:6-7, WEB

I find the phrase “sing praises with understanding” such an interesting instruction. I think sometimes people idealize a sort of blind faith that loves God without wanting to make sense of Him, but God doesn’t expect or want us to be content with something so shallow. He wants to teach us and grow us, and as we mature we should learn to understand Him more and more. That understanding will fuel our praise, for the more we understand Him the more we’ll recognize how worthy He is of our praise.

Image of a woman standing on a mountain with her arms raised in praise, overlaid with text from Psalm 48:1, WEB version: "Great is Yahweh, and greatly to be praised, in the city of our God, in his holy mountain." — Image by Ruby-Rose from Lightstock

Praise for His Words

In addition to praising God for who He is, we can also praise Him for what He does. One of the great things that He does, which we all benefit from, is share His instruction with us. The Bible uses several different words to describe instruction from God, including words, ordinances, and statues. The thing they all have in common is that it’s important for us to listen, hear and internalize, and obey when God speaks.

In God, I will praise his word.
    In Yahweh, I will praise his word.
I have put my trust in God.
    I will not be afraid.
    What can man do to me?
Psalm 56:10-11, WEB

Seven times a day, I praise you, because of your righteous ordinances.
Psalm 119:164, WEB

Let my lips utter praise, for you teach me your statutes.
Psalm 119:171, WEB

We should be thankful for the words God shares with us and the instruction He gives us. But I wonder how often we take the time to marvel at the fact that we can read the Bible, a book that God wrote through human beings and preserved through millennia. Today, most people can read the Bible in their own native language (and for those that don’t yet, organizations like Wycliff Bible Translators are working to make translations). For many of us, we have access to dozens of different translations and formats for reading God’s word. That is a great blessing, one that we should praise God for.

Image of folded hands on an open Bible, overlaid with text from Psalm 105:43-45, WEB version: "He brought his people out with joy, his chosen with singing. He gave them the lands of the nations. ... that they might keep his statutes, and observe his laws. Praise Yah!" — Image by Jantanee from Lightstock

Praise for Salvation and Redemption

Another wonderful thing that God has accomplished is our salvation. Do you ever just sit and think of how amazing that is? The Father and Jesus planned far in advance for Him to save humanity by coming to earth like us, living a perfect life, and then dying a horrible death. Without that intervention, we’d all die permanently. But because of His great love and grace, we’re offered the gift of eternal life. And as if that wasn’t enough, He also offers deliverance from physical dangers as well, which is another type of salvation the psalms speak of.

Why are you in despair, my soul? Why are you disturbed within me? Hope in God! For I shall still praise him for the saving help of his presence.
Psalm 42:5, WEB

He rescues me from my enemies.
    Yes, you lift me up above those who rise up against me.
    You deliver me from the violent man.
Therefore I will give thanks to you, Yahweh, among the nations,
    and will sing praises to your name.
Psalm 18:48-49, WEB

I will also praise you with the harp for your faithfulness, my God.
I sing praises to you with the lyre, Holy One of Israel.
My lips shall shout for joy!
My soul, which you have redeemed, sings praises to you!
Psalm 71:22-23, WEB

God’s deliverance, salvation, protection, and redemption are priceless gifts. Whether it’s the salvation happening on a spiritual level when we accept Jesus’s sacrifice and enter covenant with God, or it’s deliverance from enemies and dangers (physical or spiritual). The fact that God is Savior gives us many reasons to praise.

Image of a man reading the Bible in the woods overlaid with text from Psalm 148:4-5, WEB version: "Praise him, you heavens of heavens, you waters that are above the heavens. Let them praise Yahweh’s name, for he commanded, and they were created." — Image by HarveyMade from Lightstock

Praise His Kindness and Goodness

Closely related to praising God for His salvation and redemption is praising Him for His kindness and goodness. These are key aspects of His character that we benefit greatly from.

Because your loving kindness is better than life,
    my lips shall praise you.
So I will bless you while I live.
    I will lift up my hands in your name.
My soul shall be satisfied as with the richest food.
    My mouth shall praise you with joyful lips,
Psalm 63:3-5, WEB

Praise Yahweh, my soul!
All that is within me, praise his holy name!
Praise Yahweh, my soul,
and don’t forget all his benefits
Psalm 103:1-2, WEB

Let them praise Yahweh for his loving kindness,
for his wonderful deeds for the children of men!
Let them exalt him also in the assembly of the people,
and praise him in the seat of the elders.
Psalm 107:31-32, WEB

The Lord’s loving kindness drives Him to do marvelous things for humanity, even though we do not deserve it. Even the fact that we have water to drink, food to eat, and air to breathe is due to His loving kindness. As James says, “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights” (Jas. 1:17, WEB). If there’s anything in our lives to be thankful for, we have God to praise for that.

Image of a smiling woman with her hand lifted in praise overlaid with text from Psalm 106:1, WEB version: "Praise Yahweh! Give thanks to Yahweh, for he is good, for his loving kindness endures forever." — Image by Pearl from Lightstock

Praise His Power and Might

Another reason that we can praise God brings us back to the idea of praising Him for who He is as well as what He does. Yahweh our God has great power and might. We can praise Him for that greatness, and we can praise Him for how He choses to use His power.

Be exalted, Yahweh, in your strength, so we will sing and praise your power.
Psalm 21:13, WEB

The heavens will praise your wonders, Yahweh,
your faithfulness also in the assembly of the holy ones.
Psalm 89:5, WEB

Give thanks to Yahweh! Call on his name!
Make his doings known among the peoples.
Sing to him, sing praises to him!
Tell of all his marvelous works.
Psalm 105:1-2, WEB

When we think of God’s mighty acts of power, we realize that most of them are incredible demonstrations of His love for His people (though there are also mighty demonstrations of His judgment on sin). We can think of historical events like the creation of the world (Gen. 1-2), the parting of the Red Sea (Ex. 14), the Lord defended Judah against an invading army (2 Kings 18-19), or Jesus raising Lazarus from the dead (John 11). We can also think of miracles we’ve seen in our own lives or heard of from fellow Christians.

Image of a man and woman with their hands lifted in praise, overlaid with blog's title text and the words, "Praise is a way for us to connect with and glorify God. Whatever our current circumstances, we have many reasons to praise Him." — Image by Anggie from Lightstock

No matter what is going on in our lives right now, we have many reasons to praise. And when we’re not quite sure what to say, the Psalms provide us with ideas for how to phrase that praise. You also don’t need to confine yourself to the psalms; the word “praise” shows up 254 times in a search of the WEB translation, and just over 100 of those are in books other than psalms. You might find it an interesting study to go through those 254 uses (not all are about praising God, but most are).

Praise Yah!
    Praise God in his sanctuary!
    Praise him in his heavens for his acts of power!
Praise him for his mighty acts!
    Praise him according to his excellent greatness!
Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet!
    Praise him with harp and lyre!
Praise him with tambourine and dancing!
    Praise him with stringed instruments and flute!
Praise him with loud cymbals!
    Praise him with resounding cymbals!
Let everything that has breath praise Yah!
    Praise Yah!
Psalm 150, WEB

Featured image by PhotoGranary from Lightstock

Song Recommendation: “Praise You With The Dance” by Casting Crowns