I wasn’t quite sure what today’s post would be about until I’d been working on it for nearly a week. I knew I wanted to look at motherhood in the Bible, then as I studied three things gradually stood out to me as key points the Biblical writings emphasize. Society often places a ton of pressures on mothers to be perfect, and in the church it’s often described as the most important thing a woman can do.

For most of my life, when I studied women’s roles in the Bible and in the church, I was trying to find hints for what is expected of unmarried women without children. That’s a bit challenging, because instructions are often addressed to wives or talk about children. Now that I’m married and pregnant, though, all those verses are suddenly more relevant. I find it encouraging to study the Bible and see God really expects three basic things from mothers: pray for their kids, love their kids, and teach/train them in God’s way of life.

Praying For Children

I’ve long been fascinated by God’s interactions with the patriarch’s wives. He’s called the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, but He’s also the God of Sarah, Rebecca, Leah, and Rachael and we have record of Him interacting with the women as well as the men (God spoke directly with Sarah and Rebecca [Gen. 18:9-15; 25:20-26] and Leah’s name choices imply a relationship with Him [Gen. 29:31-35]) . Interestingly, all these interactions are related to their roles as mother. God definitely talks to and works with women who aren’t mothers as well, but for many women who talked with God, their interactions with Him involve their children. Either they’re asking for a child, or God’s telling them they’ll have a child, or they’re seeking God’s help with a child.

Christians are under no obligation to get married or have kids if they don’t want to (there are even verses where Paul counsels it could be best to remain single), but the Bible assumes that the majority of people will marry and that they’ll want to have kids. As we discussed in last week’s post, God loves children and He cares deeply about how His people raise the children that He gives to them as a gift.

She was in bitterness of soul, and prayed to Yahweh, weeping bitterly. She vowed a vow, and said, “Yahweh of Armies, if you will indeed look at the affliction of your servant and remember me, and not forget your servant, but will give to your servant a boy, then I will give him to Yahweh all the days of his life, and no razor shall come on his head.” …

When she had weaned him, she … brought the child to Eli [the priest]. She said, “Oh, my lord, as your soul lives, my lord, I am the woman who stood by you here, praying to Yahweh. I prayed for this child, and Yahweh has given me my petition which I asked of him.”

1 Samuel 1:10-11, 24-27, WEB

I love that God listens to women’s prayers or even just thoughts for and about their children. We see this first in Hagar’s story, where she was clearly worried about her son but doesn’t even have to make a specific prayer for God to respond to her plight (Gen. 16:6-15; 21:8-21). We see it in Rebecca, who had a question about her pregnancy that God personally responded to (Gen. 25:20-26). We see it in Hannah (whose story I just quoted), who asked God for a son and received exactly what she requested (1 Sam. 1:1-2:11). From the many examples of praying mothers in the Bible and God’s careful attention to their prayers, we can see that praying for children is a key part of Biblical motherhood.

Teaching Your Children

My husband and I were both homeschooled, and we’re planning to homeschool our children as well. I’m so excited about this, particularly now that I have teaching and tutoring experience working with everyone from 5-year-old beginning readers to teens struggling with homework to Ph.D. candidates looking for editing help on their dissertations. I love teaching and I’m excited to teach my children and discover their learning styles.

One of the things that the Bible assumes (and commands!) is that fathers and mothers will both be teaching, training, and disciplining (disciple-ing) their children. When we look at Moses’s words in Deuteronomy about passing on God’s teachings to children, we can remember that his audience was “all Israel” (Deut. 1:1; 5:1). That’s the whole assembly of the congregation, men and women.

Therefore you shall lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul. You shall bind them for a sign on your hand, and they shall be for frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall write them on the door posts of your house and on your gates; that your days and your children’s days may be multiplied in the land which Yahweh swore to your fathers to give them, as the days of the heavens above the earth.

Deuteronomy 11:18-21, WEB

When you have kids, God expects you to make His way of life part of their everyday learning. Even if you don’t homeschool, you’re still responsible for teaching your children the word of the Lord. That goes for both mothers and fathers.

My son, keep your father’s commandment,
    and don’t forsake your mother’s teaching.
Bind them continually on your heart.
    Tie them around your neck.

Proverbs 6:20-21, WEB

Mothers taught both boys and girls (for example, all of Proverbs 31 is “The words of king Lemuel; the revelation which his mother taught him). There’s a good chance that Jesus’s mother Mary was His primary teacher, since she was from a priestly family and spent time in the home while Joseph would have been busy with his work as a carpenter (Metsämuuronen, 2019). Jewish children of Jesus’s time grew up steeped in religious tradition, learning prayers, keeping Sabbath and the feasts, and eating kosher foods. They were likely taught “the contents of the main scriptures and proverbs” and learned how to “read something” from their mothers before beginning formal schooling at the age of six or seven (Metsämuuronen, p. 5). If there was a local synagogue, both boys and girls would have gone there to learn Torah until around age thirteen. If not, it was the parents’ responsibility to continue their schooling.

Teaching and training children in God’s way of life is still a responsibility for parents, regardless of how else their children are being taught things more traditionally considered school subjects. It’s not something we can leave to chance or hope they learn through osmosis at church or from our examples. We need to be intentional about it. As such an important responsibility, teaching and training children is a key aspect of Biblical motherhood.

Love the Children

Praying for their children is something we see mothers in the Bible do. Teaching their children is something they were commanded to do. Another command, which involves older mothers teaching new mothers, is to love our children.

But as for you, communicate the behavior that goes with sound teaching. … Older women likewise are to exhibit behavior fitting for those who are holy, not slandering, not slaves to excessive drinking, but teaching what is good. In this way they will train the younger women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, fulfilling their duties at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the message of God may not be discredited.

Titus 2:1, 2-5, NET

It seems a little odd that the older women have to train the younger women how “to love their children.” We tend to think that love is something that just happens and people don’t need to work on it, especially for women with their maternal instinct. There are also hints in the Bible that it’s natural and normal for women to cherish their own children (Is. 49:15-16; 1 Thess. 2:7). But just like we learn to love a spouse more fully and deeply (rather than simply settling for impulsive, romantic love), we can also learn how to love our children better.

I know there’s a lot involved in being a good mother, but I suspect most of it is going to fall into these broad categories (based not just on Bible study, but practical observations of and conversations with mothers I know and admire). It’s kind of like how the entire law is fulfilled by truly following the command to love God and love your neighbor (Matt. 22:35-40; Rom. 13:8-10). If we’re praying for our children, teaching them God’s way, and loving them truly, then maybe the rest is simply details on how to do that properly.

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