I’m so excited to announce that I’m releasing a second edition of The INFJ Handbook this summer. This will be an updated and expanded edition with lots of new information. Plus, I’ll be able to offer this in a print version as well as an ebook for all of you who’ve contacted me and asked where you could buy a physical copy.
In the first edition of The INFJ Handbook, I asked several INFJs to share their perspectives on having an INFJ personality type. Since all my contributors for the first edition were women, I’d like to get some INFJ men to share their perspectives for the second edition.
Update: Now closed to further responses. Thank you so much to everyone who contacted me to share their answers to these questions! I’ll be updating everyone soon with a release date for the book.
If you identify as a man and an INFJ personality type, I’d love to hear from you. Here’s a list of questions that I’m curious to get your perspective on:
- How do you experience Intuition? What happens when you try to explain your intuitions to others?
- Even though INFJ’s use Feeling more comfortably, we also have a Thinking side to our personalities. What does it look like for you to use your Thinking side in a healthy way? (for example: playing strategy games, analyzing your favorite topic, etc)
- What stresses you out so much that you start acting unlike your normal self?
- What do you consider the biggest strengths and weaknesses of your personality type?
- Are there any struggles you face that you believe are unique to INFJ men?
- Are there any personal growth tips you’d like to share with other INFJs?
- What do you wish other people knew about INFJs?
You can answer as many or as few of these questions as you want. If there’s something else you’d like to share that isn’t covered in these questions, please feel free to add that as well.
If you’d like to contribute to this second edition of The INFJ Handbook, you can leave a comment under this post or click here to email me. Thank you so much! I’m really looking forward to reading what you have to share 🙂
5 thoughts on “I’d like to hear from INFJ men for The INFJ Handbook second edition”
Well, I’m not a guy, but the questions you have in this post were really interesting to think about, especially the one about explaining your intuition to others. My friends joke that I use magic…maybe it’s the intuitive thing, because I have strong hunches about things that often turn out to be right.
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22yo M INFJ 5w4:
“How do you experience Intuition? What happens when you try to explain your intuitions to others?”
I have often given up on attempting to explain my intuitions to people except when absolutely necessary or to those who understand intuition better (often times to ENTPs, they seem to get it). When I do share my true intuitions, it is often perceived as unfinished thoughts or ramblings, yet I can very clearly see the concept I am trying to convey, it is just not coming out coherently. I combat this by taking more time to process the intuition with Ti before saying it, but this often means my thoughts are left behind in a cloud of dust as the conversation flies past the original topic.
“Even though INFJ’s use Feeling more comfortably, we also have a Thinking side to our personalities. What does it look like for you to use your Thinking side in a healthy way? (for example: playing strategy games, analyzing your favorite topic, etc)”
I am a senior year physics major, so I often combine Ni and Ti to process intriguing concepts that I have learned about. I typically use Ti primarily for processing or translating Ni into thoughts that are neatly packaged and ready for sharing verbally or through text.
“What stresses you out so much that you start acting unlike your normal self?”
Loud environments with lots of people overwhelm me quickly (HSP). I also get flustered and unsure how to respond to people who make insensitive comments or aggressively present thoughts/ideas that are extremely close minded and refuse to acknowledge any possibility of being wrong. I get really frustrated by people who question my intentions by assuming they know why I am doing something without confirming it.
“What do you consider the biggest strengths and weaknesses of your personality type?”
Strengths: Highly empathetic but also very logical and level headed for the most part. When asked for an opinion, is not afraid to give the truth, even if hard, but won’t be crass about the delivery. Extremely loyal and sees the best in people.
Weaknesses: HSP, so I become frustrated by having to explain why I can’t attend a concert or other loud events with friends. Very harsh on myself and can fall into a trap of thinking I am worthless, highly perfectionistic of my own morals. Aspires to enjoy Se experiences, but often fails and gets overwhelmed.
“Are there any struggles you face that you believe are unique to INFJ men?”
The stereotype of men makes me feel like I am weak if I show too much empathy to my fellow man as though we are supposed to be hard a**es all the time.This has lead to a long delay in the development of my Fe and an over development of Ti. This stereotype also makes me feel like an outsider when I despise engaging in crass conversations or other “manly” things like weightlifting. I hate gyms, so much fakery and attention seeking narcissism.
“Are there any personal growth tips you’d like to share with other INFJs?”
INFJs struggle with self worth which can lead to depression, but it doesn’t help to ignore the negative voice in your head. Instead listen to it no matter how painful it can be, giving it a chance to get its thoughts out, and them respond with reassurance that tells you how valuable you really are. Ignoring it will just lead to pent up emotions that will explode into self hatred when you least expect it.
Don’t allow yourself to use introversion as a crutch or an excuse, you NEED social interaction! Even if it is really hard, push yourself and seek that discomfort as you will grow in self confidence and social intelligence by doing so. You will also find more potential close friendships!
“What do you wish other people knew about INFJs?”
Being somewhat aloof and reserved doesn’t mean we don’t want to get to know you or vice versa. We just want someone who will at least try to understand us, and that is enough. Also not remembering your name is not a sign we didn’t value the conversation we had, but details just aren’t our thing.
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Thank you so much for taking the time to answer my questions, and including your Enneagram type as well. This is exactly the kind of response I was hoping for!
I’ll keep you posted about when you can expect to see the book released. As a thank you for sharing your story I’d like to send you a free copy once the book is finished, so I’ll be in touch to work out those details. Thanks again 🙂
muito legal, Me identifiquei com as respostas do Chase. Apesar de não ser homem,obviamente,e por isso não passar pela exigência de dureza. Depois que vi vc mencionar o eneagrama, é que notei que compartilhamos não só o mesmo tipo,mas também o mesmo eneagrama!deve ser por isso tantas semelhanças de experiência
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Great post, I can relate.
64 year old INFJ man, free associating:
slow of speech in social situations
bursting to share my magical inner world with someone
who would understand it
At a party, I withdraw and analyze each persons motivations, in all their conversation.
In other words, I can read a person like a book, it’s not always bad.
Loneliness, constant battle with melancholy
then, fabulous creative solitude and cosmic awareness
Let’s do stay in touch!