Author: Marissa

It’s Amazing What Breathing Can Do

It’s Amazing What Breathing Can Do

Marissa

One of the things I’ve discovered in learning how to better handle my anxiety is that breathing helps.

I was kind of hoping when I started counseling I’d learn about a semi-magical secret trick to avoiding panic attacks and working through anxiety. And what did I find? Deep breathing. Turns out that it’s important to breath when you’re panicking. Who knew?

Just to be clear, I’m talking about things that help in the moment when you’re starting to feel anxious — not about long-term work on managing anxiety and re-training your mind. That’s a slightly different topic, which I’ve talked about in posts like “Exchanging Your Foundation Stones” and “Making Some New Paths In Our Minds.”

Different people who struggle with anxiety find different ways of managing it (EFT tapping, grounding techniques, deep breathing, etc). For me, grounding and breathing seem to work best, which I find interesting since I’ve been doing both for years through my yoga practice. I just needed to start using those tools more effectively in the rest of my life, not just for 15-45 minutes every morning.

It’s amazing what a difference focusing on the present moment, grounding yourself in the physical world, and forcing yourself to breath deep can make. And I’m assuming this would help whether you’re dealing with every-day anxieties or with having more long-term anxiety. The techniques seem almost too simple, but they work and if you’re starting to feel panicky the last thing you need is to try and remember some complicated method of calming down.

You don’t need to figure everything out, or get cured of anxiety, or conquer whatever mountain you’re climbing before you can start to feel better. Sometimes, all we need is to stop, breath, and tune-in to the present moment. To give ourselves permission to feel however it is we’re feeling rather than keep burying it or pressing on through.

Hopefully, taking the time to ground yourself and just breath will help cultivate a sense of peace. But if not, don’t beat yourself up over it. Treat yourself with the same kindness I’m sure you’d show someone you love who’s struggling. Self-care isn’t selfish — it’s essential (another thing I’m learning that now seems like it should have been obvious).

I’m not sure who needed this post (other than me), but I hope you’ll take some time for yourself today. Breath, tune-in, and take care of yourself. Be well my dear readers 🙂

It's Amazing What Breathing Can Do | LikeAnAnchor.com
Photo credit: johnhain via Pixabay

 

Featured image credit: Jill Wellington via Pixabay

7 Fictional Characters That You’ll Relate To If You’re An ESFJ

7 Fictional Characters That You’ll Relate To If You’re An ESFJ

Marissa

What fictional characters do you relate to as an ESFJ?

Just as we can describe real people using the Myers-Briggs® typology system, we can also use the system to type well-written fictional characters. Some of fiction’s most iconic and intriguing characters are ESFJs, and today we’re going to talk about seven of them that I think real-life ESFJs will find relatable.

Another great thing about looking at character personality types is that it helps us to better understand people who have different types than we do. Fictional ESFJs can serve as examples for what real-life ESFJs might be like, and also show how much variation can exist between individuals with the same type.

Anna

Most people type Anna from Disney’s Frozen as an ESFP or ENFP, but hear me out. ESFJs lead with a function called Extroverted Feeling (Fe, or “Harmony”). Fe is a decision-making process that’s concerned with connection and meeting other peoples’ needs, and that’s what we see Anna prioritizing throughout the film. Like so many real-life ESFJs, Ann longs for harmonious connections with other people. She’s also so concerned with the needs of people around her that she asks Kristoff, “Are you going to be okay?” while she’s dying. If that’s not an FJ thing I don’t know what is.
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Are You A Good Person? and What Does That Even Mean?

Are You A Good Person? and What Does That Even Mean?

Marissa

What does it mean to be “good”? Is it doing all the right things? Never messing up? Making sure you stay useful to God?

Not exactly. Biblical goodness does involve moral uprightness, having a good character, and doing the right thing. But Jesus also tells us, “No one is good but one, that is, God” (Matt. 19:17, WEB). So when we’re instructed to do and be good, there’s also an acknowledgment that we don’t already have inherent goodness inside us. For us, becoming good is a process that happens as we become more like God.

One of the fruits of the spirit listed in Galatians 5:22 is “goodness.” It’s the Greek word agathosune (G19), which Zodhiates’ dictionary says “is character energized, expressing itself in … benevolence; active good.” It is a more active character trait than kindness, though the two are similar. When we have God’s spirit inside us, it prompts us to do the same sorts of things that God does because He is good.

Become Good By Following God

Oh taste and see that Yahweh is good. Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him. (Ps. 34:8, WEB)

Our God is good in every way. The Hebrew word tob H2896) means “good” in the broadest sense, including concepts like “better,” “beautiful,” and “pleasant.” There is no limit to the goodness of God, and “those who seek Yahweh shall not lack any good thing” (Ps. 34:10). Not only is the Lord good, but He gives goodness to those who seek Him and follow His example of goodness.

Who is someone who desires life, and loves many days, that he may see good? Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking lies. Depart from evil, and do good. Seek peace, and pursue it. Yahweh’s eyes are toward the righteous. His ears listen to their cry. (Ps. 34:12-15, WEB)

The better our relationship with God is, the more readily we’ll follow His instructions and example of goodness. We don’t have to already be good for God to want us. We will, however, keep becoming better people the more we let Him work in us. Read more →

What Do You Want Your Inner World To Look Like?

What Do You Want Your Inner World To Look Like?

Marissa

The world inside our minds can be a fascinating place. For some of us, it’s even more “real” than the outer world. Introverts in particular approach the world from the perspective that reality is what we bring to it from within. However, every type has an introverted and an extroverted side. Extroverts have an inner life, just like Introverts have an extroverted persona they use in the outer world. We all prefer one or the other as our starting point for conceptualizing reality, but every human being has an “inner world” of some kind.

Susan Storm’s post “The Secret World of Every Introverted Myers-Briggs® Personality Type” is what prompted today’s post. It got me thinking about how the worlds inside our own heads work, especially in connection with the Joyce Myers’ book Battlefield of the Mind that I’ve been reading. How much control do we have over the types of thoughts that we think? To what extent is our inner world shaped consciously? And if we don’t like something about the way our inner world or “thought life” is now, can we change it?

Our Minds Shape Us

The question of what our inner world looks like is probably most interesting to introverts, but I think it’s one that extroverts benefit from considering as well. None of us walk around all day with our minds a blank slate waiting for something outside us to fill out thoughts. We’re all using our inner thought life for something, even if it seems to just be running on automatic.

The Book of Proverbs tells us that as a man “thinks within himself, so is he” (Prov. 23:7, TLV). Even if you’re not a Bible-reader, it’s still a principle that we can apply. The things that we think about on the inside shape who we are and who we’re becoming on the outside. It’s impossible to separate what our inner world looks like from the reality of who we are as a whole person. Read more →

5 Tips For Resolving Conflicts Between FJ and TJ Types

5 Tips For Resolving Conflicts Between FJ and TJ Types

Marissa

Have you ever witnessed, or been part of, a conversation that starts to turn into a conflict because both parties feel the other just doesn’t “get it”? They’re approaching whatever topic they’re discussing from different perspectives, seeking different outcomes, and/or phrasing things in a way that makes sense to them but for some reason sets the other on edge.

If you talk with one of them after this conversation, you might hear things like, “I just can’t understand why they’re so irrational!” or “Why can’t they just tell me what they actually think?” Then if you talk with the other person you could hear, “I don’t see why they insist on stirring-up conflict” or “How dare they put me on the spot like that!”

This sort of situation often develops when Thinking and Feeling personality types clash. It’s especially noticeable among the INFJ, ISFJ, ENFJ, and ESFJ types and INTJ, ISTJ, ENTJ, and ESTJ types, since these types direct their decision-making processes outward. In other words, they interact with the outer world using their judging functions of Extroverted Feeling and Extroverted Thinking. If you’re not familiar with function theory, click here to read “The Simplest Guide to Myers-Briggs® Functions Ever.”

One of my favorite applications for personality type theory is using it to better understand people who don’t see the world the same way as us. As I explained in a post a couple weeks ago, both Thinking and Feeling are considered rational functions. These two ways of decision-making use very different foundations for their rationalizations, however. And if you’re not aware of how that all works, then it can lead to quite a bit of frustration when you’re trying to have a conversation with someone who doesn’t share your type’s preferences. Read more →

The Fruit Of Gentleness

The Fruit Of Gentleness

Marissa

Meekness, gentleness, and mildness get a bad rap in today’s society. People tend to think of them as synonyms for being weak or boring. A door mat. But those three words I opened with are all possible translations of the Greek word praotes (G4236), which is listed as part of the fruit of the spirit in Galatians 5:22-23.

The spirit of God is not weak or boring. It is full of power, and it is also “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control.” Indeed, though we may not think of these traits as “powerful,” we cannot display them all unless we’re empowered by God. It takes a great deal of inner strength, commitment, and willingness to be transformed by God to live-out the fruit of His spirit, including gentleness.

The Meekness of Christ

In his second letter to the Corinthians, Paul opened one of his lines of thought with the words, “I Paul, myself, entreat you by the humility and gentleness of Christ” (2 Cor. 10:1, WEB). The traits of gentleness, humility, and meekness that the world spurns are key to understanding Jesus Christ’s character. Read more →