Adept at chameleon-like camouflage and the rarest of any type, spotting an INFJ out in the wild isn’t an easy thing to do. In fact, most people walk past INFJs without ever noticing them.
It’s kinda like in Peter S. Beagle’s The Last Unicorn, where most people who look at the unicorn just see a sad looking white horse instead of her true, magical nature. Except for the fact that no matter how odd/ethereal they might seem from overenthusiastic type descriptions online, INFJs are not in fact magical.
This post isn’t going to deep-dive into function stacks or walk you through how to identify someone’s Myers-Briggs type. You can click here to read a good article on that. Instead, we’ll be talking about characteristics that are often associated with INFJs and which you could spot in fairly casual interactions. Not every INFJ will have these traits, but if you spot several then there’s a good chance you might be talking with an INFJ or one of the similar types.
In Conversations …
If you’re in a conversation with someone you think might be INFJ, look for the following signs:
- They listen intently, offering non-verbal and sometimes verbal feedback that lets you know they understand and are relating to you.
- They respond in ways that let you continue directing the conversation where you want it to go.
- Touching on a favorite topic makes their eyes light up and they get so excited to talk about it that they may even interrupt you.
- They ask you questions and you feel like you’re really connecting, but you realize later they told you very little about themselves.
- Argumentative conversations and debates make them visibly uncomfortable.
- They may get flustered and have trouble organizing their thoughts if you ask them a question they don’t have a ready answer for.
- Deep questions excite them, but they often need to think before responding.
- Their conversations often include abstract and symbolic terms, and references that don’t quite make sense to most others around them.