Life – Like An Anchor

What To Expect On This Blog in the Next Few Weeks

17 May, 202325 May, 2023Marissa

Hi everyone!

I wanted to take a some time to share with you new projects and changes that you’ll be seeing here within the next few weeks. They won’t affect the blog posts much, but some things are changing with my books and I’ll be releasing a new study guide in June.

Name Change

I’m getting married on June 4 and I plan to take my new husband’s last name. Since I’ve already published books and this blog as Marissa Baker, though, I had to decide how/if to change my author name as well. Here’s the plan I’ve decided on:

INFJ Handbook: no change

All my involvement in the Myers-Briggs type community has been under the name Marissa Baker. I don’t want to make it hard for people to find my The INFJ Handbook if they read a post or listen to an interview with Marissa Baker, so I’m not planning to change anything about that. Also, when I guest post about personality types on other blogs, I’ll still write under the name Marissa Baker.

Blog and Study Guides: name change

On this blog and for my Christian study guides, I’ll be using my new name, Marissa Martin. Since I’ve only released one of the Study Guides as Marissa Baker and am continuing the series, it makes sense to change my author name on those to the name I plan to use for the rest of my life.

I’d also like to start publishing Christian fiction as well, though I haven’t yet decided if I want to try traditionally publishing or if I’ll self-publish those like I do my non-fiction. I’m not ready to announce any upcoming releases just yet, but when I am I’ll also publish those as Marissa Martin.

New Study Guide

Speaking of the study guides, I’ll be re-releasing The Beatitudes in a new edition with my married name. Once that is done, I’ll continue the series with The Armor of God. I’m so excited to release this new study guide; my early readers tell me they enjoyed it even more than The Beatitudes.

Look for the new edition of The Beatitudes and the new Armor of God study guides in June.

No Post June 10

The name update and book news won’t affect much on my blog. I’ll still share Bible study blog posts every Saturday morning, so posting schedule and content aren’t changing. The only thing that will be affected is that I’m not going to have a blog post on June 10 since I’ll be on my honeymoon.

Well, that’s all for the update. At least for now; I have some crafty projects in mind once we move into our new house and I finally have the space to set up a sewing table. I’ve been thinking about either blogging or filming those projects to share them. Let me know if you’d be interested in seeing me build cat trees and sew Star Wars-inspired 50s style dresses (like this one I made a few years ago). I’d probably host those on a YouTube channel and/or over on my Star Wars blog rather than here.

Picking A Theme For Next Year

15 December, 202013 December, 2020Marissa

Are you planning to set a New Year’s resolution for 2021?

After the way 2020 has gone, I’m not sure what most people are thinking about this. Do you plan specific resolutions hoping to make 2021 a better year than the last? Avoid resolutions because you’re just in survival mode?

At the beginning of 2019, I shared a post called “Encourage Your Hopes, Not Your Fears,” which talked about the idea of setting an intention for the year rather than making specific resolutions. Resolutions are notoriously easy to break. It’s far more rare to meet someone who actually stuck with a New Year’s resolution and saw it improve their life than it is to meet someone who broke their resolutions almost as soon as they’d made them.

Abandoning resolutions can be disheartening, even though it’s pretty much expected. Resolutions are usually about some kind of positive change–loose 15 pounds, read 1 new book each month, eat less sugar–and when we don’t meet those goals we send ourselves the message that making positive change is hard/impossible. We might laugh at our weakness or joke about how hard it is to keep resolutions, but I think it still discourages us if we set goals that we know we’re unlikely to meet. You’re not going to convince yourself change is possible by setting yourself up to fail.

Just because resolutions aren’t a great form of goal setting, though, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t resolve to make steady improvements each year. Personal growth is about forward progression over time. We don’t have to get all our growth work out of the way within the next couple of months (nor should we expect that’s possible). Growing is something we do our whole lives, and it often happens in cycles. We go through periods where it feels like we’re spinning our wheels and times when it’s easy to see our progress.

It is often far more useful to have a broad intention or theme for growth, which can adapt as our lives change, rather than a more specific resolution that we’re likely to break. This idea brings us to a video from CGP Gray that I’d like to share:

Whether you call it a theme, intention, or something else, setting a broad and adaptable goal for the year (or for parts of the year) can be a fantastic alternative to the traditional New Year’s resolution. This is about changing the trend of your life in manageable ways. For example, CGP Gray talks about his “Year of Novelty” and “Year of Order,” as well as suggesting “Year of Reading” or “Year of Health” as possible themes. Themes are what he calls a “fuzzy, high level, longer-term way to navigate your brain” that help you “build a life you want to live.” Themes like this might last a year. Or you might pick two themes and devote half the year to each. Or you could change themes with the seasons. It’s up to you.

You could even pick a theme that you’re already working on. For example, I’ll be starting my second semester of grad school as the New Year begins. I could call 2021 my “Year of Learning” and make it my intention to take opportunities to learn when they come up. That could involve making the most of classes I’m already taking, saying “yes” when opportunities like publishing an article or attending a conference open up, or reading a few more non-fiction books that don’t directly relate to my classes. If I have the time, maybe I finally take a class in sign language or first-aid like I’ve been wanting to do for years. Or I could learn some of the baking techniques that intrigue me when I’m watching The Great British Baking Show. I don’t have a specific resolution so all of these could work, and if I only do some of them (or do something else learning related that’s not on this list) them I’ve still participated in a Year of Learning.

What do you think of choosing a theme for the new year instead of a resolution? Do you have an idea of what sort of theme or intention you’d like to set? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!

Featured image by Dung Tran from Pixabay

Update on the Anxiety Kitty and Grad School

8 December, 20207 December, 2020Marissa

I was chatting with my sister a couple days ago about blog post topics, and she asked if I’d ever updated my readers on how Flynn is doing. When I adopted this 2-year-old cat back in March 2018, I shared “Lessons From My Nervous Cat” and a follow-up post a few months later called “Anxiety Kitty: The Not-So-Surprising Way Pets Improve Mental Health.” He was such a frightened cat when I adopted him. After a few months, though, he’d started to settle in and trust me. I’m pleased to report that now, a few years after his adoption, he’s turned into a happy, contented cat.

Update on the Anxiety Kitty | LikeAnAnchor.com

This year has been one with big changes for us. I started grad school, which means Flynn and I moved from my parents’ home to an apartment shared with my sister. I was worried he wouldn’t do well with that transition to a new and smaller place, but he’s settled in quite nicely and only hides now if strange people knock on the door (as I write this, he’s under the bed because UPS dropped off a package). We did discover during the move that he hates car rides, even though I borrowed a medium-size dog carrier from some friends so he’d fit comfortably since my cat carrier is too small for this chonker (he is on a diet so please don’t worry about him too much).

We’ve discovered that Flynn likes watching horror movies with my sister (something I’m not interested in, so she appreciates having a movie-watching buddy). We’ve also found that he steals cotton swabs out of bathroom trashcans, he likes to hang-out in the bathtub for some reason, and ping-pong balls are his new favorite toy. He also likes to nap on my pillow since the head of my bed is near a window where he can spy on the neighbors, including the occasional bird or squirrel.

As I’d shared in my previous posts about Flynn, I struggle with nervousness and anxiety too. And I’m thankful to report that Flynn’s not the only one of us who’s doing well with the recent changes in my life. The anxiety isn’t all gone, but I am doing better. There were some days (including a couple weeks in the middle of the semester) when I was starting to worry about myself again but I got through it. I’ll probably set up a couple appointments with the on-campus counselors next semester, mostly as a preventative sort of thing to help keep myself mentally healthy.

I’ve also realized that I have a much better sense of who I am and what I bring to the table now than I did 12 years ago when I started college the first time. In one sense I suppose that should be obvious–it was so long ago that I’d be worried if I hadn’t grown! But sometimes I think it’s easy to miss how much progress we’ve made until there’s some big change to shake things up and make us take a close look at ourselves.

Update on the Anxiety Kitty and Grad School | LikeAnAnchor.com

I can’t imagine 18-year-old Marissa working directly with people coaching them on how to do something like improve their writing, or see her speaking up during meetings and offering suggestions for making the campus writing center better. She also had a lot more difficulty adjusting to college than I’m having now with coming back, even though there were 8 years between graduating with my Bachelor’s degree and coming back to school for my Master’s. In some ways, being back in academia feels like coming home (which I’m taking as confirmation I’m in the right graduate program).

Life’s not without its challenges (an understatement, especially in 2020) but there are good things happening, too. I’m hoping that’s true in your life as well, and I’d love to hear about it!

What are some of the positive changes, challenges overcome, or good things that have happened in your life this year?

Writing (Like Life) Is an Individual Growth Process

25 August, 202025 August, 2020Marissa

I started graduate school last week! It’s a Master’s program of Rhetoric and Writing, and it means I suddenly have less time for blogging than I did before. But it also means I’ve been reading a number of books and scholarly articles that are prompting me to think more deeply on topics related to teaching and the writing process.

That might not sound, at first glance, like something that has to do with “finding our true selves in the people God created us to be.” However, I’m struck by similarities between best practices for teaching students to improve as writers and what I know about personal growth. We don’t all follow the exact same patterns for personal growth, nor do we all grow at the same pace and in the same way. Similarly, one-size-fits-all is not a great approach to teaching writing. There are, of course, certain things we look for in “good writing” — a strong thesis, structure that supports the thesis, integration of quotes and examples, etc. But to a certain extent, whether or not something is “good writing” also depends on the individual writer. Read more →

Great Changes Begin Great Stories

12 May, 202011 May, 2020Marissa

Think about your favorite novel, movie, or TV show. It probably begins with the main characters going about their ordinary lives. Bilbo Baggins lives peacefully in his hobbit hole (The Hobbit). Elizabeth Bennet is socializing with her sisters and putting up with a mother eager to marry her off (Pride and Prejudice). Luke Skywalker is moisture farming on Tatooine (Star Wars). A pastor is sailing with his family to a colony in the South Pacific (The Swiss Family Robinson).

Then Gandalf arrives with a party of dwarves. Mr. Bingley moves to Netherfield. Droids arrive carrying secret plans that must be delivered to the Rebellion. The ship crashes on an uncharted island. Something changes, acting as an inciting incident to push the main character out of their normal life and into the events of the story.

We’re currently living in a time of great change. People are talking about what the “new normal” will look like and speculating about how much things will change now that there’s Covid-19 in the world. There have been many other times of great change throughout history — pandemics, the industrial revolution, natural disasters, colonization by European powers, terrorist attacks, the falls of empires, the birth of Jesus Christ. Some are terrible, some depend on your point of view, and a very few are spectacularly good.

We have very little control over how the world changes. But we do have some control over if and how we change in response to those changes. In many ways, we get to decide whether the effects of this pandemic will be an inciting incident for personal growth, a speed bump as we continue on much the same as before, or something that derails our path.

Great Changes Begin Great Stories | LikeAnAnchor.com — Photo credit: RÜŞTÜ BOZKUŞ via Pixabay

We would not have had a story if Bilbo stayed home, Elizabeth refused to speak with Darcy a second time, Luke didn’t follow R2-D2 into the desert, or the Swiss family had been rescued after only a week on the island. Now, I’m not saying you should ignore social distancing guidelines and go running off on a grand adventure. For us today I’m talking more about an internal adventure and a commitment to positive change.

Some of the greatest journeys we can go on are those of self-discovery, and they’re often prompted by change. The biggest moments that stand-out in my mind as times that sparked personal growth were starting college, beginning a dating relationship with a man I’d been friends with for years, and then the breakup which ended that relationship. Maybe this pandemic will be another one for me, and for many other people.

Whether you’re stuck at home and have some extra time on your hands or not, the changes in the world around us can serve as a reminder to look inwards and evaluate ourselves. We might ask questions like, “What impact am I having on the people around me for good or ill?” or “How can I become a healthier individual mentally, emotionally, and physically?” or “What do I want the next part of my story to look like?”

We can’t control when quarantine restrictions lift, who gets sick, or most other things associate with this pandemic. But we can control how we respond to the changes that are happening in our lives and the world around us. Let’s commit to making sure the great changes we’re going through now spark great next chapters in the stories of our own lives.

If you’re looking for some ideas for where to start working on personal growth, I’ve finally found an Enneagram book that I like. It’s called The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile (please note this is an affiliate link, which means if you click and make a purchase I’ll receive a small commission at no additional cost to you).

I haven’t quite finished it yet, but even just reading the introduction and chapter on my enneatype has given me some additional clarity on a couple issues I’ve been struggling with for a while. You might want to check this book out if you’ve been curious about the Enneagram or want some ideas for personal growth. I borrowed it from a digital library, so that might be an option for those who (like me) prefer to try out a book before buying it.

Featured image credit: js j via Pixabay

Do You Let People Change?

21 April, 202020 April, 2020Marissa

Most of us know that we can change. In fact, since you’re reading a blog where I talk about personal growth and development from a Christian perspective, I dare say most of you are actively trying to change for the better. We believe we can grow. We believe we can become better versions of ourselves. We believe in change and new beginnings.

But do we believe the same thing of other people? Do you think everyone you meet is capable of the same level of change that you are? Maybe you can say “yes” to these questions as an abstract idea. But if other people are changing and growing, do you suppose that you would notice?

I’m sure most of us would like to think that we hold space for others to grow. We probably also like to think we’d recognize change when we see it, but research indicates that most of us aren’t very good at this. To quote Psychology Today, “People tend to get attached to their initial impressions of others and find it very difficult to change their opinion, even when presented with lots of evidence to the contrary.” We tend to size people up quickly and then stick with our initial impressions even if we see proof that we were wrong. Read more →