Tag: church

Pauline Introductions, Part 3: How Does Paul Talk About Us?

Pauline Introductions, Part 3: How Does Paul Talk About Us?

Marissa

Today’s post is the third in a three-part series. In these posts, we’re looking at the introductions of Paul’s epistles and examining how Paul talks about himself, how Paul talks about God, and how Paul talks about us in the introductions to his letters. We’re focusing on the epistles he wrote to church communities rather than the pastoral epistles (Timothy, Titus) or the letter to an individual (Philemon). This series also excludes Hebrews since there’s a good chance Paul wasn’t the author. That means we have nine letters to look at: Romans, 1 Corinthians, 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1 Thessalonians, and 2 Thessalonians.

In this post, we’re looking at how Paul describes his readers and, by extension, us today. I’ve found it fascinating to look at how he addresses his readers and what he emphasizes about who they are and what they’re doing.

The Church of God

Five of these letters are addressed, “to the church” of God in a specific city or the “churches” in a region (1 Cor. 1:2; 2 Cor. 1:1; Gal. 1:2; 1 Thes. 1:1; 2 Thes. 1:1). Others are addressed “to the saints” of a specific city (Rom. 1:7; Eph. 1:1; Phil. 1:1; Col. 1:2). Let’s take a look at the Greek words translated “church” and “saints,” since they mean something a little different than we might expect from the use of those English words.

“Church” in the New Testament is translated from the Greek word ekklesia (G1577). It might also be translated “assembly” (as it is in the WEB version). The English word “church” carries the connotation of a building where people gather or an organization that people belong to, but ekklesia emphasized the aspect of people gathering together. The basic meaning is “a gathering of citizens called out from their homes into some public place, an assembly” (Thayer’s dictionary). Hence, the church is God’s called-out people that He assembles together.

“Saints” is translated from the Greek word haggios (G40). It is also commonly translated “holy” and refers to “a most holy thing” (Thayer’s dictionary). At it’s heart, the “fundamental idea is separation, consecration, devotion to the service of Deity, sharing in God’s purity and abstaining from earth’s defilement” (Zodhiates’s dictionary). God’s temple was holy because it was set apart for sacred use. Similarly, God’s people are holy because they’re separated from the common or impure things and devoted to Him. By calling us the church of God and the saints, Paul focuses on God’s work bringing us out of the world into fellowship with each other and Him, and on our distinctiveness as a group devoted to God.

Called By God and Belonging to Jesus

This point is very closely connected to the first one, since we are “called to be saints” (Rom. 1:7, 1 Cor. 1:2, NET) as part of the church/assembly of God. This also means we are “called to belong to Jesus Christ” (Rom. 1:6, NET) and “called into fellowship with” Jesus Christ (1 Cor. 1:9, NET). Romans and 1 Corinthians are the only letters that use the “called” wording in the introduction, but others echo similar sentiments with phrases like “chosen” (1 Thes. 1:4) and “claimed.”

For he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world that we should be holy and blameless before him in love. He did this by predestining us to adoption as his legal heirs through Jesus Christ, according to the pleasure of his will …

In Christ we too have been claimed as God’s own possession, since we were predestined according to the purpose of him who accomplishes all things according to the counsel of his will so that we, who were the first to set our hope on Christ, would be to the praise of his glory. 

Ephesians 1:4-5, 11-12, NET

Paul also refers to his readers as those “who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours” (1 Cor. 1:2, NET). We are called-out of the world and into God’s family by God, and as such we can call on the name of our Lord. We’re identified, both in the Pauline introductions and throughout New Testament writings, by our association with Jesus Christ. This in no way diminishes the Father, who is the one calling us. Rather, properly acknowledging Jesus as Lord and knowing that we belong to Him glorifies the Father (Phil. 2:8-11).

Image of a woman writing in a notebook overlaid with text from 2 Thes. 1:1-3 NET version: "“to the church of the Thessalonians in God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. Grace and peace to you from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ! We ought to thank God always for you, brothers and sisters, and rightly so, because your faith flourishes more and more and the love of each one of you all for one another is ever greater.”
Image by Corey David Robinson from Lightstock

Rescued By God

Once we’re called by God and join His people, our identities become connected with Him. As such, many of the things Paul says about us in the introductions to his letters have to do with how God sees us and what He does for us. When Paul talks about his readers, he doesn’t focus on things like their gender, wealth, or nationalities (though those topics come up in the letters). He focuses on who they are now that they are God’s people. For example, because of the God who called us and the Lord that we follow, we are sanctified (i.e. made holy), rescued, and redeemed.

to the church of God that is in Corinth, to those who are sanctified in Christ Jesus, and called to be saints, with all those in every place who call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours.

1 Corinthians 1:2, NET

Grace and peace to you from God the Father and our Lord Jesus Christ, who gave himself for our sins to rescue us from this present evil age according to the will of our God and Father, to whom be glory forever and ever! Amen.

Galatians 1:3-5, NET

In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our offenses, according to the riches of his grace 

Ephesians 1:7, NET

We are who we are now by the grace of God the Father and the sacrifice of the Lord Jesus Christ. This works hand-in-hand with our identity as God’s church, God’s called out ones, and the people who belong to Jesus. It’s a theme Paul expands on throughout his letters (1 Cor 6:19-20; Eph. 2:4-10, for example).

Loved and Blessed

Paul addressed Romans, “To all those loved by God in Rome” (Rom. 1:7, NET) and 1 Thessalonians to “brothers and sisters loved by God” (1 Thes. 1:4, NET). God has deep feelings for us; it was His love that drove Him to save us and call us into His family. Now that we are His, He exercises great care over us. Paul mentions several of the ways that we benefit from God’s great love in the introductions to His letters.

 I always thank my God for you because of the grace of God that was given to you in Christ Jesus. For you were made rich in every way in him, in all your speech and in every kind of knowledge—just as the testimony about Christ has been confirmed among you—so that you do not lack any spiritual gift as you wait for the revelation of our Lord Jesus Christ. He will also strengthen you to the end, so that you will be blameless on the day of our Lord Jesus Christ. God is faithful, by whom you were called into fellowship with his son, Jesus Christ our Lord.

1 Corinthians 1:4-9, NET

God “has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms” (Eph. 1:3, NET). The abundance of blessings that God piles on us is boundless and amazing. He’s not at all stingy with His riches, gifting us liberally, primarily spiritually but also in many physical things. Some of these blessings even prompt us to action as God’s people. For example, we are recipients of God’s comfort and therefore we can comfort other people (2 Cor. 1:3-5).

Faithful Participants

Image of a man sitting on a couch writing on a pad of paper, overlaid with blog's title text and the words, "What can we learn from looking at the first things Paul wanted his readers to see when they read his letters?"
Image by StartupStockPhotos from Pixabay

Even when talking about us, much of Paul’s emphasis is on the work that God’s doing. But he also spends quite a bit of time talking about our response to that work. As a result of who God has made us and what He’s doing in our lives, we become participants.

We always give thanks to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you, since we heard about your faith in Christ Jesus and the love that you have for all the saints. Your faith and love have arisen from the hope laid up for you in heaven, which you have heard about in the message of truth, the gospel that has come to you. Just as in the entire world this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, so it has also been bearing fruit and growing among you from the first day you heard it and understood the grace of God in truth.

Colossians 1:3-6, NET

For Paul, faith in Jesus results in action, such as bearing fruit and growing. Several of his introductions mention his readers’ faith. He addressed Colossians to “the saints, the faithful brothers and sisters in Christ” (Col. 1:2, NET). In Ephesians, he called them, “the faithful in Christ Jesus” (Eph. 1:1, NET) and speaks of the time when they “heard the word of truth (the gospel of your salvation)—when you believed in Christ” (Eph. 1:13, NET). (Note: “believed” is translated from the verb-form of the Greek noun translated “faith.”)

We thank God always for all of you as we mention you constantly in our prayers, because we recall in the presence of our God and Father your work of faith and labor of love and endurance of hope in our Lord Jesus Christ. …

And you became imitators of us and of the Lord, when you received the message with joy that comes from the Holy Spirit, despite great affliction. As a result you became an example to all the believers in Macedonia and in Achaia.

1 Thessalonians 1:2-3, 6-7 NET

Faith in the New Testament isn’t just an intellectual or emotional thing; it’s very active. When we have real faith, it’s working and doing good. We’ll be imitating the Lord, loving other people, and staying hopeful even as we endure trials. Flourishing faith perseveres and loves (2 Thes. 1:3-4). It also prompts us to be active participants in the gospel that we’ve believed.

 I always pray with joy in my every prayer for all of you because of your participation in the gospel from the first day until now. For I am sure of this very thing, that the one who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. For it is right for me to think this about all of you, because I have you in my heart, since both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel all of you became partners in God’s grace together with me.

Philippians 1:4-7, NET

God is the driving force behind our faith, the one who makes everything we accomplish as Christians possible, and the one accomplishing our transformation into His covenant people. But we have a role as well. Faith is active, the gospel demands participation, and even God’s grace invites us to be partners with Him rather than just passive recipients.

There is a lot worth studying in Paul’s letters, and we’ve seen that even the introductions hold a lot of depth. Studying the first things that Paul says about himself, God the Father and Jesus our Lord, and his readers helps us understand how central God is to our identities as Christians. It is also very encouraging and uplifting to see Paul’s humility, his awe of God, and the good things he says about his readers. As we join those readers each time we reread his letters, let’s try to see ourselves the way Paul sees us and follow the Lord as faithfully as he encouraged his first-century readers to.

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Song Recommendation: “We Are” by Kari Jobe

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Focusing On Authority Misses the Point (How Do Women Serve in the Church?)

Focusing On Authority Misses the Point (How Do Women Serve in the Church?)

Marissa

I recently read a social media discussion centered on the issue of women in ministry. Without going into too much detail, the original post criticized the idea of “women pastors,” and subsequent comments went in the direction of debating whether or not women had any authority roles in the church. As I read these comments, I started feeling uncomfortable. It’s not as if I’m unfamiliar with this topic or I don’t have my own ideas on whether women are “allowed” to teach, speak, pray, prophecy, or lead in churches (one example: my post “Women Who Speak in Scripture”). But the focus on who gets to have authority struck me as wrong. If we focus discussions like this on who is in charge, I think we’re missing one of the New Testament’s big points about how all Christians are supposed to relate to one another.

Jesus’s Take on Authority

Authority is not a bad thing. Jesus taught with authority, used the authority His father gave Him for good (such as to forgive sins), and currently has “all authority in heaven and on earth” (Matt. 7:29; 9:6; 28:18; John 5:27; 10:18). He also clarifies that His authority comes from God–it’s legitimate authority conferred upon Him by the highest authority (John 12:49). As someone with authority, He could and did give His disciples certain authority, such as over unclean spirits (Matt. 10:1).

In these verses, the Greek word translated “authority” is exousia (G1849). Thayer’s dictionary lists several primary meanings: “1. power of choice, liberty of doing as one pleases … 2. physical or mental power … 3. the power of authority (influence) or right (privilege) 4. the power of rule or government.” Like the English word “authority,” it can refer to legitimate, well-wielded authority or it can have a darker side. We see that in a discussion Jesus had with His disciples at least twice: once after James and John asked for authority in His kingdom and once at the Passover when all the disciples debated who would be the greatest after Jesus died.

Now when the other ten heard this, they were angry with the two brothers.  But Jesus called them and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in high positions use their authority over them. It must not be this way among you! Instead whoever wants to be great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave—just as the Son of Man did not come to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

Matthew 20:24-28, NET

 A dispute also started among them over which of them was to be regarded as the greatest. So Jesus said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those in authority over them are called ‘benefactors.’ Not so with you; instead the one who is greatest among you must become like the youngest, and the leader like the one who serves. For who is greater, the one who is seated at the table, or the one who serves? Is it not the one who is seated at the table? But I am among you as one who serves.

Luke 22:24-27, NET

“Authority” in these verses is exousia (or it is in Luke 22; Matthew 20 uses katexousiazo, a derivative meaning “to exercise authority, wield power” [G2715, Thayer]). In this case, it’s talking about people among the nations who have worldly authority. The phrase “lord it over” is another word: kurieuo in Luke 22, which means “to be lord of, to rule, have dominion over” (G2961, Thayer) and katakurieu in Matthew, a related word meaning “to bring under one’s power … to hold in subjection to be master of, exercise lordship over” (G2634, Thayer). It’s definitely not a good thing in this context, and Jesus clearly tells his disciples not to act this way. If you want to be great in His church, then you serve.

When I saw people arguing things like, “How dare women try to get authority over men?” or “I can’t stand that only men get authority, why can’t women like me be in charge?” I thought about these verses. There are certain kinds of authority given to people in the church (and legitimate roles instituted by Jesus or those He taught directly, such as apostle, pastor, and deacon), but if we’re concerned about who gets to lord it over other people then we’re missing the point. No one is supposed to be lording it over other people or coveting a position where they could do that. We’re supposed to be humble and focus on service.

Image of a young woman standing in church reading the Bible overlaid with text from Gal. 5:13, NET version: “For you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity to indulge your flesh, but through love serve one another.”
Image by José Roberto Roquel from Lightstock

Who Can Serve and How?

Maybe instead of asking, “Can women have authority in the church?” we should ask, “Can women serve in the church?” The answer to that is a resounding “Yes!” supported by the examples of many women in the Old and New Testaments. What gets more to the heart of the original debate, though, is the question, “How do women serve in the church?” We have examples to answer that question as well. We know for certain that women in the Bible served God’s people in these ways:

There may even have been a woman apostle, Junia (Rom. 16:7), but her exact role is so hotly debated that I didn’t put “apostle” on my list (scholars pretty much agree that she was a woman, but not on whether the phrase used in this verse indicates she could have been an apostle). Clearly, women were heavily involved in the church, both in what we think of as “behind the scenes” roles and (apparently more rarely, though female prophets are relatively common) in the more public leading, serving, teaching, preaching roles. When God uses a woman to do something in scripture, we really can’t argue that the church shouldn’t allow women to do those same things today.

Things Women (Probably) Don’t Do

It’s worth noting some of the roles that we don’t see examples of women in. If we look at the lists of ministry gifts/roles in 1 Corinthians 12:28 and Ephesians 4:11, we see “first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, gifts of healing, helps, gifts of leadership, different kinds of tongues” (1 Cor. 12:28, NET) and “some as apostles, some as prophets, some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers” (Eph. 4:11). Let’s use those lists as a guide for examining women’s possible roles in the church.

We might have one possible example of a woman as an apostle, but no specific examples of them as pastors (from the same Greek word translated “shepherd”) or evangelists (Greek word only used 3 times). However, “evangelist” is a title that comes from the Greek verb euaggelizo (G2097), “to bring good news” or preach the gospel (Thayer). It is likely that women did participate in that activity (Acts 8:1-4; Phil 4:2-3). We also don’t have specific examples of women performing miracles or healings. But we know for certain that women can be prophets, that women teach even if not called “teacher” as a title, that they fill helper roles, that they can have leadership-related gifts, and that those at Pentecost spoke in different languages just like the apostles and other men (Acts 1:14; 2:1-4).

It seems, then, that we can say women did not serve as pastors/shepherds in the Bible and that they were not typically apostles or evangelists. The only other church “authority” roles I can think of in the New Testament are elder, bishop/overseer, and deacon/servant. We have a concrete example of a woman as a deaconess/servant, but no women in the overseer role. “Elder” seems to refer to men most of the time, but the feminine version of the Greek word is used in 1 Tim. 5:2. I suspect that when “elder” is used to refer to respected older people in the church it often includes men and women, but when it’s used to refer to an ordained role in the church it typically or exclusively refers to men. That said, we also don’t have any verses directly saying, “women cannot be pastors.”

You might be uncomfortable with how ambiguous I’m being here, but it is deliberate. The need to have hard rules defining what women and men can and cannot do is a product of Western cultural mindset being applied to the Biblical text. We want specific and inflexible rules for things, but Eastern cultures (like those of Biblical writers) see rules differently: “rules apply except when the one in charge says otherwise. Westerners might consider this arbitrary; many non-Western Christians consider this grace” (Misreading Scripture With Western Eyes, Richards & O’Brien, p. 174). As an example, one of the authors of this book recounts a time when he was invited to speak to a group of pastors in Indonesia. He was shocked, knowing the group’s bylaws say pastors must be male, to see a few women in the audience. When he asked about it, he was calmly told, “Yes, and most of them are [male]” (p. 169). The Indonesian man he spoke with saw nothing strange about an exception to the rule. Perhaps Christians at the time Paul wrote Romans would have heard us say, “Women can’t be apostles,” and responded by saying, “That’s right, except for the times when they are apostles.”

Image of three women holding hands to form a circle and pray, overlaid with text from Acts 2:17-18, NET version: “And in the last days it will be,” God says, “that I will pour out my Spirit on all people, and your sons and your daughters will prophesy, and your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams. Even on my servants, both men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days, and they will prophesy.”
Image by Pearl from Lightstock

But What About 1 Timothy 2?

Because we’ve been talking about authority, we need to address 1 Timothy 2:12, where Paul wrote, “I don’t permit a woman to teach, nor to exercise authority over a man” (WEB). Seems straightforward enough, until we start looking at the context and Greek words. Paul doesn’t use any of the typical words for authority here, but rather the incredibly rare word authenteō. This word may refer to wrongly used authority and/or could be connected to astrology practiced by some pagan women at the time, but it’s hard to say for sure since this is the only time it’s used in the Bible and it’s rarely used in contemporary writings (“The Strangeness of 1 Timothy 2:12,” Andrew Bartlett). Paul also uses a different phrase, “I don’t permit,” than he typically uses when laying down rules for the churches.

We also should take note of the fact that Timothy was in Ephesus when he received this letter, a church that Paul specifically brought Priscilla and Aquilla into and where he left them to serve (including teaching Apollos when they arrived [Acts 18:18-28]). It makes a whole lot more sense to interpret this as a prohibition against women usurping (KJV), dominating (ASV), or lording it over (TLB) a man (note that “man” is singular in the Greek, not the plural “men”) rather than a general rule that women never speak or have any authority, particularly given how involved some women were in ministry in the New Testament.

This analysis might seem pedantic or as if we’re trying to “get around” this scripture, but when you come across something in Paul’s writings that is hard to understand (and a lot of things are [2 Pet. 3:16-17]) we need to look at how it fits with the rest of scripture. Our interpretation of what he says has to match other things in the Bible. In this case, if scripture shows women consistently involved in various types of ministry work–including, occasionally, what we’d think of as “authority” roles like prophet or church host–then Paul’s words here can’t be a prohibition on women serving in the body of believers. It would go against precedent in the entire Bible–including Jesus’s radical treatment of women as equals and Paul’s own writings about how God views converted men and women on a cosmic scale (1 Cor. 11:11-12; Gal. 3:28)–if Paul were making a blanket declaration against women serving in the church. It is much more likely that he is telling Timothy not to let women in Ephesus do things that men wouldn’t be allowed to do either (e.g. lord it over others in the church or teach things related to astrology).

It seems very strange to me that we pull out a few isolated phrases Paul uses (1 Cor. 11:3; 14:34; 1 Tim. 2:12) and come up with this whole doctrine that women can’t ever teach, speak, or have public roles in the church. What about the whole rest of the Bible? What about how Jesus treated women? It seems just as misguided to me as those who take Paul’s statement, “you are not under law but under grace” (Rom. 6:14, NET) to mean that New Covenant Christians don’t have to obey God. We need to be careful about things like this, and test our assumptions (even if they’ve been assumptions for centuries of church history) to make sure they actually fit what God teaches through His word.

Motivated by Service and Humility

Image of two clasped hands, overlaid with blog's title text and the words, "When God uses a woman to do something in scripture, we really can't argue that the church shouldn't allow women to do those same things today. It’s not about who has authority; it’s about serving where God wants us to."
Image by Anggie from Lightstock

As we look at the roles we see women in the Bible filling or not filling, we need to be careful how we conceptualize authority related to those roles. The point isn’t to figure out who is most important (e.g. is it the male pastor or the female prophet?) but to serve God with the gifts He provides in the role He supplies. If God calls a woman to host the church in her home, that’s what she does. If He gives a woman the gift of prophecy, then she’s supposed to prophecy.

Likewise, if He chooses not to place women in the role of ordained pastor, elder, or overseer, that is God’s choice and the New Testament makes it seem like this is indeed the case (at least most of the time). Most men don’t fill those roles either; other roles are more commonly needed in the church. We’re not supposed to be jealous of or resent people who have roles that we think of as more authoritative than us any more than Jesus resents His Father for being greater than Him (to be clear, there is no resentment or competition between Jesus and the Father [John 10:29-30; Phil. 2:5-11]).

 Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well. You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had,

who though he existed in the form of God
did not regard equality with God
as something to be grasped,
but emptied himself
by taking on the form of a slave

Philippians 2:3-7, NET

No one in God’s church is supposed to seek authority roles for the prestige or the power. We should seek to serve with humility, the same way that Jesus modeled. In a healthy church following God’s lead, we’ll filter into the roles most suited to the gifts He has given us (ideally without doctrinal misinterpretation or other people’s “selfish ambition or vanity” blocking someone from what they’re supposed to be doing). It doesn’t always work that way because the church is composed of people–redeemed people working on becoming more like God, but still people who can make mistakes. We need to have patience with each other in that. For example, it is not wrong for me to want churches I’m involved with to let me exercise my teaching gifts (and other women to exercise their gifts), but it is wrong when I feel as if I deserve more recognition and responsibility than I get or when I resent other people who have the opportunity to use their gifts differently than I do.

Two of the things that we’re called to do is submit “to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Eph. 5:21, NET) and “through love serve one another” (Gal. 5:13, NET). We’re not called to seek authority or argue about who gets to be in charge. Ultimately, Jesus is the one in charge as head of the church (Eph. 1:22; Col. 1:18). The rest of us are here to serve in a variety of different capacities, but all of them characterized by encouragement, love, and humility (see, for example, John 13:35; 2 Cor. 1:24; Eph. 4:1-3; Col. 3:12-13). If we think any of this is about being in charge, claiming authority over others, or getting what we think we’re owed, then we’ve missed the whole point.

Featured image by Shaun Menary via Lightstock

Song Recommendation: “Way Maker” by Mandisa

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How Should We Speak With Other People in the Church?

How Should We Speak With Other People in the Church?

Marissa

Earlier this week, my dad mentioned to me that he noticed the word “debate” is never used in a positive light in the Bible and yet people in the church sometimes argue that debate is healthy. Dad’s observation matched what I’ve heard, and I wondered where the line is between healthy discussions of scripture and unfruitful, even sinful, debating. I wanted to study it more.

Though we’ll spend quite a bit of this post on definitions and examples from scripture that highlight things we should not do when speaking with other people in the church, I think the take-away message is positive. There are so many things that God and His writers tell us that we should be focusing on in our interactions that there’s no need to dwell on the negative things. We need to know what we shouldn’t be doing so we can avoid them, but the bulk of our attention should be on building up, encouraging, teaching, growing, loving, and cultivating peace and unity in the church.

Some Background Definitions

In English, the word “debate” either refers to “a formal discussion on a particular topic in a public meeting” or to the action of arguing “about (a subject), especially in a formal manner.” Originally, the word came into English from “Latin dis- (expressing reversal) + battere ‘to fight’” (definition from Oxford Languages via Google). Arguing and fighting certainly doesn’t sound like something a Christian ought to be doing, particularly in light of how often God expresses His intention for there to be peace in His church.

In the Bible, use of the word “debate” depends on the translation. For example, forms of this word show up 11 times in the NET (Isa. 41:1; 43:26; Mark 12:28; Luke 6:11; 24:15; Acts 9:29; 15:2; 15:7; 18:28; 1 Cor. 1:20; Jud. 1:9) but only 5 times in the KJV (Prov. 25:9; Isa. 27:8; 58:4; Rom. 1:29; 2 Cor. 12:20), and the different translations use “debate” in completely different verses. The WEB version only uses “debate” once (Prov. 25:9). With so many different translations, it will be more useful to look at synonyms and at the Hebrew and Greek words that could be translated “debate,” “argue,” “discuss,” etc.

Hebrew words translated “debate” include rı̂yb (H7378) “to strive, contend” either verbally or physically. This one is used of human quarrels, but also of God’s legal right to “chide” or “reprove” people” (Theological Wordbook of the Old Testament [TWOT] 2159). The word medan (H4090) or madon (H4066) is another word with a root that has judicial connections, and it means “strife, contention” (TWOT 426c). Another word used is matstsâh (H4683), which also means “strife, contention” and comes from a root that means “to struggle” (Brown, Driver, Brigs (BDB) definitions). Here are some of the verses where these words refer to human activity.

The beginning of strife (madon) is like breaching a dam,
    therefore stop contention (riyb) before quarreling breaks out.

Proverbs 17:4, WEB

‘Why have we fasted,’ they say, ‘and you don’t see?
    Why have we afflicted our soul, and you don’t notice?’ …

Behold, you fast for strife (riyb) and contention (matstsah),
    and to strike with the fist of wickedness.
    You don’t fast today so as to make your voice to be heard on high.

Isaiah 58:3-4, WEB

There are six things which Yahweh hates;
    yes, seven which are an abomination to him:
arrogant eyes, a lying tongue,
    hands that shed innocent blood,
a heart that devises wicked schemes,
    feet that are swift in running to mischief,
a false witness who utters lies,
    and he who sows discord (medan) among brothers.

Proverbs 6:16-19, WEB

Clearly, discord strife, and contention are not good things for humans to engage in. In fact, God says that He absolutely hates people who go around spreading discord/strife/contention among other people. Strife and contention can even block our voice from being heard by Him.

Image of two men sitting across a table from each other, overlaid with text from 2 Cor. 12:20, NET version: "For I am afraid that somehow when I come I will not find you what I wish, and you will find me not what you wish. I am afraid that somehow there may be quarreling, jealousy, intense anger, selfish ambition, slander, gossip, arrogance, and disorder."
Image by Claudine Chaussé from Lightstock

Ways of Speaking Together

It’s a similar situation in the New Testament as in the Old, with strong warnings against strife and contention. The Greek words that could be translated “debate” can be grouped roughly into two groups (based on synonyms listed by Zodhiates in The Complete WordStudy Dictionary: New Testament).

On the one hand we have eris (G2054), “strife, contention, wrangling.” Synonyms include “eritheia (2052,) contention, rivalry; antilogia (485), verbal dispute; mache (3163), fighting; philoneikia (5379), love of quarreling or contention; logomachia (3055), strife of words; paroxusmos (3948), paroxysm, incitement” (Zodhiates, entry G2054). Eris is the word that the KJV translates “debate,” and it’s not a good thing. This word and its synonyms have to do with fighting, contention, and strife. All together, eris and its synonyms appear 28 times in the New Testament. The only time one is used positively is Hebrews 10:24 (“provoke,” G3948). All the others are negative, as demonstrated by these verses:

For since there is still jealousy and dissension (eris) among you, are you not influenced by the flesh and behaving like unregenerate people?

1 Corinthians 3:3, NET

 Now the works of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity, depravity, idolatry, sorcery, hostilities, strife (eris), jealousy, outbursts of anger, selfish rivalries (eritheia), dissensions, factions, envying, murder, drunkenness, carousing, and similar things. I am warning you, as I had warned you before: Those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God!

Galatians 5:19-21, NET

But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, quarrels (eris), and fights (mache) about the law, because they are useless and empty. Reject a divisive person after one or two warnings. You know that such a person is twisted by sin and is conscious of it himself.

Titus 3:9-11, NET

On the other hand, we have suzeteo (G4802) and its derivatives, which means “to seek or examine together” or to “discuss, dispute, question” (Thayer). In general, it means “to question, reason, dispute with someone” (Zodhiates), and the NET sometimes translates it “debate” because “this term implies emotional dialogue” (NET footnote to Luke 24:15). Synonyms listed by Zodhiates include “dialegomai (1256), to question, argue, dispute; dialogizomai (1260), to reason, discuss; eperotao (1905), to ask, to question” (entry on G4802). As we read these definitions, I think we can see that if someone’s trying to argue that debate is a good thing, they probably mean it in the sense of question, reason, or discuss. But are these words used in a positive light in the New Testament?

Image of people holding hands to pray overlaid with text from Rom. 14:13, 19, NET version: "Therefore we must not pass judgment on one another, but rather determine never to place an obstacle or a trap before a brother or sister. ... So then, let us pursue what makes for peace and for building up one another."
Image by Claudine Chaussé from Lightstock

Discussions: Accepted but Not Commanded

Suzeteo and its synonyms appear 103 times in the New Testament. 60 of those are eperatoa (G1905), which is used simply for asking questions and whether it’s positive or negative depends on the question and the motive. For example, its used of Jesus’s disciples asking Him questions, but also of people questioning Him in an attempt to trap Him (Matt. 16:1; 17:10). Paul even tells women they “should ask” their husbands if they have questions about something going on at church rather than disrupt the service to ask (1 Cor. 14:35). Whether or not a question is positive depends on the motives of the person asking.

Dialegomai (G1256) and dialogizomai (G1260) appear 29 times. These are used of “reasoning together” with other people or of pondering something in your heart. Often it’s negative or has negative consequences (Matt. 16:7-8; 21:25; Mark 2:6-8; 9:33-34), but occasionally it’s positive or neutral (Luke 1:29; 3:15). Outside of the gospels, dialegomai is most often used of Paul’s preaching style in the book of Acts (Acts 17:2, 17; 18:4, 19; 19:8-9; 20:7-9; 24:12, 25). Much as with eperatoa, the how and why of how you’re reasoning with other people determines whether such reasoning is good or bad. It is worth noting, though, that I find no instructions saying that God’s people should engage is such reasoning/disputing. Paul did it and it was okay in that setting, but that doesn’t mean we should all teach or interact with people like this, particularly not all the time.

Suzeteo (G4802) and its derivatives (G4803 and G4804) are used in a similar way. It’s used in the gospels of people questioning and reasoning together, sometimes innocently and sometimes with bad motives (Mark 8:11; Luke 24:14-15). It also appears several times in Acts, sometimes of people outside the church debating with Jesus’s followers, but also of Paul disputing with Jews and even with other apostles (Acts 6:9; 9:29; 15:2, 7; 28:29). Such disputes are not really framed positively, and the words are never used in the New Testament epistles as something we should be doing (though they’re not expressly forbidden, as the eris-type words are).

How Should We Talk With Each Other?

Image of 4 people walking into a church building, overlaid with blog's title text and the words, "Rather than engaging in pointless debates, we should be the kind of people who engage in and create the opportunity for positive, peaceful interactions at church."
Image by Pearl from Lightstock

If contention, strife, and disagreements are prohibited and reasoning, discussion, and disputes are not framed positively in most cases, then how should we be talking with one another?

You must let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but only what is beneficial for the building up of the one in need, that it would give grace to those who hear. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. You must put away all bitterness, anger, wrath, quarreling, and slanderous talk—indeed all malice. Instead, be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ also forgave you.

Ephesians 4:29-32, NET

Our focus shouldn’t be on questioning or disputing with one another, but on finding ways to strengthen each others’ faith. For some people, discussing questions of doctrine in a peaceful way may be beneficial so long as it does not stray into the realm of unprofitable disputations or foolish questions (1 Tim. 6:3-4; 2 Tim. 2:23; Tit. 3:9). But our focus should be on building up each other, being kind in our communication, and forgiving quickly when that’s needed.

Therefore, if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort provided by love, any fellowship in the Spirit, any affection or mercy, complete my joy and be of the same mind, by having the same love, being united in spirit, and having one purpose. Instead of being motivated by selfish ambition or vanity, each of you should, in humility, be moved to treat one another as more important than yourself. Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well. You should have the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had

Philippians 2:1-5, NET

There are so many verses telling us to focus on peace in the church, strengthen the brethren, speak encouraging or joyful things, and submit to each other humbly (Rom. 14:19;15:2; 1 Cor. 14:12; Eph. 5:18-21; Phil. 2:14; Col. 3:16; 1 Thes. 5:11; Heb. 10:24-25; 1 Pet. 5:5). We’re even told to “put up with one another in love,” since sometimes that is what’s needed to maintain unity and peace (Rom. 15:1; Eph. 4:1-3; Col. 3:12-13).

I can only speak for myself, but I always feel encouraged and motivated coming home from church if I’ve had positive, uplifting conversations about God’s goodness, His great work in our lives, and the depth of understanding to be found in His scriptures. Asking questions of other believers and turning to scriptures to find answers can also be uplifting, provided the interaction is focused on learning together rather than lecture or debate. In contrast, it can be upsetting, confusing, and discouraging to be ambushed by someone who wants to debate things that really have no clear answer (e.g. some finer points of prophecy) or which have already been settled to most people’s satisfaction (e.g. the divinity of Jesus Christ).

If I do have the opportunity to get into a debate, I often find myself eager to show-off my scripture knowledge or defend my beliefs, but based on Paul’s instructions to the Romans, Timothy, and Titus that’s the wrong response. The best thing to do is avoid such arguments. After one or two attempts to warn or correct a person who consistently starts this kind of contentious debates, we’re even instructed to avoid them (Rom. 16:17; 1 Tim. 6:3-5; 2 Tim. 2:23; 3:1-5; Tit. 3:9-11). Rather than engaging in pointless debates, we should take the higher ground and model a more excellent way. We should seek to be the kind of people who engage in, start, and create the opportunity for positive, peaceful interactions at church.

Featured image by Shaun Menary from Lightstock

Song Recommendation: “Let There Be Peace On Earth” by Vince Gill

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Reading Slowly Through 1 Corinthians 12: Contextualizing The Spiritual Gifts

Reading Slowly Through 1 Corinthians 12: Contextualizing The Spiritual Gifts

Marissa

I’m a pretty fast reader. For reference, Goodreads tells me I’ve read 47 books so far this year. This is great when I’m in school or if I want to hit reading goals for the year or I need to quickly gather information. But it’s not all that helpful in Bible study. When we’re pondering the Bible, it helps to slow down and read carefully. This is a book for close reading, not for skimming.

My women’s scripture writing group at church started the topic “Spiritual Gifts” for July. I don’t have that list posted (we take turns compiling scripture lists and that one isn’t mine), but you can click here to download similar lists. For “Spiritual Gifts,” the first 12 days of the month are verses from 1 Corinthians, most from chapter 12 and a few in 13 and 14. As I started writing them this week, it forced me to slow down and I noticed some things I hadn’t before. Today, I’d like to take a deep-reading stroll through this chapter together.

Background for Discussing Gifts

With regard to spiritual gifts, brothers and sisters, I do not want you to be uninformed. You know that when you were pagans you were often led astray by speechless idols, however you were led. So I want you to understand that no one speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus is cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 12:1-3, NET

Why does Paul introduce the spiritual gifts section by talking about idols? It seems off topic, yet what he’s giving us is a way to tell if someone is “speaking by the spirit of God.” This is very relevant to discussing gifts fueled by God’s spirit. We’ll come back to this point in a moment, but Paul has some more groundwork to lay first.

Now there are different gifts, but the same Spirit. And there are different ministries, but the same Lord. And there are different results, but the same God who produces all of them in everyone.

1 Corinthians 12:4-6, NET

The Corinthian church had an issue with people breaking into factions (1 Cor. 1:10-13; 11:18), and Paul continues to address that here. He doesn’t want them to make the mistake of thinking that the different gifts and ministries provide a reason for dividing the church or devaluing certain people. Before informing them about spiritual gifts, he contextualizes it by sharing how to identify someone the holy spirit is working in (they acknowledge Jesus as Lord) and with a reminder that unity is important to God. The Lord works with different people differently, but that’s so they can all benefit the church body as a whole.

To each person the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the benefit of all.

1 Corinthians 12:7, NET

Here’s the final piece of foundational information for discussing spiritual gifts. God gives these spiritual gifts to each individual for the benefit of all. Also, remember that this is the letter where Paul says twice that you (plural) are the temple (singular) of God (1 Cor. 3:16-17; 6:19-20). He really wants to make sure his readers understand that God is building a unified church led by Jesus Christ (with many groups scattered around the world, all acknowledging Jesus as Head), not a bunch of little churches headed by Paul, or Apollos, or Peter, or any other human being.

Image of four women studying the Bible together overlaid with text from 1 Cor. 12:8-10, NET version: “To each person the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the benefit of all. For one person is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, and another the message of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, and to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another performance of miracles, to another prophecy, and to another discernment of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, and to another the interpretation of tongues.”
Image by Shaun Menary from Lightstock

Examining the Gifts

1 Corinthians 12:8-10 is one of a few different passages in the Bible that lists spiritual gifts. In Romans, Paul talks about the gifts of prophecy, service, teaching, exhortation, contributing, leadership, and mercy (Rom. 12:6-8). In Ephesians, he focuses on roles God gave in the church and talks about apostles, prophets, evangelists, pastors, and teachers (Eph. 4:7-13). Peter talks about love, hospitality, speaking, and service in relation to gifts (1 Pet. 4:8-11). Each list is a bit different. We’ll just focus on the one in 1 Corinthians today.

For one person is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, and another the message of knowledge according to the same Spirit

1 Corinthians 12:8, NET

Let’s think back to the opening line about idols and understanding. Remember, Paul said, “I want you to understand that no one speaking by the Spirit of God says, ‘Jesus is cursed,’ and no one can say, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ except by the Holy Spirit.” This is particularly important to keep in mind for the spiritual gifts that also have non-spiritual counterparts.

Wisdom (G4678, sophia, intelligence, skill, expert knowledge) and knowledge (G1108, gnosis, knowledge and general intelligence) aren’t words exclusively related to Christianity. People can seem wise or knowledgeable without really having the type of true, divine wisdom and knowledge that comes from God (as Paul has already addressed in 1 Cor. 1-2). Given how much emphasis Paul put on the difference between human and divine knowledge at the beginning of this letter, I think he wants to make sure we don’t mistake human intelligence for the spiritual gifts of wisdom and knowledge. No matter how smart something sounds, if it doesn’t line up with truth then it isn’t the message (G3056, logos, word, intelligent speech) of wisdom or knowledge.

to another faith by the same Spirit, and to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit,  to another performance of miracles, to another prophecy, and to another discernment of spirits, to another different kinds of tongues, and to another the interpretation of tongues. 

1 Corinthians 12:9-10, NET

Seeing “faith” on a list of spiritual gifts puzzles me, kind of like seeing “mercy” and “service” on lists in Romans and 1 Peter. Those are attributes that all Christians are supposed to have. It is impossible to please God without faith (Heb. 11:6), so it’s something every one of His followers needs and which we all can have. This makes me wonder if some of the spiritual gifts have “levels” of sorts. Maybe we all have faith but perhaps some have a gift of super-abundant faith. And perhaps many of us–or maybe even all of us–have the potential to prophecy or heal or discern spirits, but some have that talent as a gift and are more likely to do so regularly.

Paul even says that we can pursue specific gifts and advises that we ask God for prophecy, which in this case means speaking “to people for their strengthening, encouragement, and consolation” (1 Cor 14:1-5). This seems to indicate that people can have multiple spiritual gifts and that we can ask God for more gifts, though of course we also need to accept that He’s the one who chooses which gift(s) will be best for each person.

Reiterating Unity

Image of four people walking into a church building with the blog's title text and the words "When we think of spiritual gifts, we often focus on figuring out which gift we have. As we do that, we need to also remember Paul’s points that contextualize our desire for and use of such gifts.
Image by Pearl from Lightstock

After listing some spiritual gifts, Paul returns to the topic of unity in the body. This point is integral for understanding how to use the gifts God has given us and how to perceive the gifts God gives other people.

It is one and the same Spirit, distributing as he decides to each person, who produces all these things. For just as the body is one and yet has many members, and all the members of the body—though many—are one body, so too is Christ. For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body. Whether Jews or Greeks or slaves or free, we were all made to drink of the one Spirit. For in fact the body is not a single member, but many. 

1 Corinthians 12:11-14, NET

Paul elaborates on this analogy by pointing out how silly it would be for one part of the human body to say it isn’t really part of the body, or for a part like an eye to tell another part, like a hand, that there’s no need for it (1 Cor. 12:15-26, NET). It’s the same level of ridiculousness if one person thinks, “Because I have this gift I understand more than everyone else so I’m leaving,” or if another were to say, “I don’t like people with this gift or role, so they shouldn’t be here in my church.”

 Now you are Christ’s body, and each of you is a member of it. And God has placed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, gifts of healing, helps, gifts of leadership, different kinds of tongues. Not all are apostles, are they? Not all are prophets, are they? Not all are teachers, are they? Not all perform miracles, do they? Not all have gifts of healing, do they? Not all speak in tongues, do they? Not all interpret, do they? But you should be eager for the greater gifts.

And now I will show you a way that is beyond comparison. If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but I do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I give over my body in order to boast, but do not have love, I receive no benefit.

1 Corinthians 12:27-13:3, NET

We talked about this “way that is beyond comparison” a couple weeks ago in my post “The Necessity of Godly Conflict Resolution and Forgiveness.” Wanting spiritual gifts is good because when they’re used rightly, they benefit the entire church body. But unless love is guiding our actions, all the good things we do and all the gifts we might have are empty.

When we think of spiritual gifts, we often focus on figuring out which gift we have or how we can use our gifts. As we do that, though, we need to keep in mind the other points Paul makes to contextualize the right desire for such gifts. We need to remember that gifts are given to strengthen the whole body. They’re given to individuals so that we can contribute to God’s church. And the gifts aren’t the only important thing. They’re not even the most important. Love–which in today’s world is often seen as simple or weak and not nearly as important as something like knowledge or power–is actually the most important thing for followers of God to have inside them and display in their lives. Agape-love for God and others is the foundation for using God’s spiritual gifts properly “for the benefit of all.”

Featured image by Inbetween from Lightstock

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Song Recommendation: “Come Alive (Dry Bones)” by Lauren Daigle

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The Necessity of Godly Conflict Resolution and Forgiveness

The Necessity of Godly Conflict Resolution and Forgiveness

Marissa

What is your first reaction when someone else makes you feel hurt, confused, or belittled? Where does your mind go if you observe someone doing something you think they shouldn’t, or going somewhere you don’t expect them, or not being where you think they should be?

For many of us, our first reaction is to assume something bad. They were trying to hurt us or put us down. They’re slacking on their duties, they don’t value their commitments, they’re trying to get away with something. For others among us, assuming positive intent comes more naturally and we’re inclined to give people a little more grace.

Whatever our default response, we need to learn how to assume positive intent. Psychologists counsel that assuming positive intent is a great way to move forward constructively from disputes. It’s a concept that’s often related to resolving conflicts in a work environment, but it works in other relationships as well. Brené Brown counsels people to approach all our interactions with the assumption that the other person is doing the best they can.

Positive intention isn’t just a new psychology trend. It’s linked with the philosophical notion of charity, which is also a Christian virtue. When you have the option to interpret a situation negatively or positively, assuming positive intent means you choose the more charitable or love-inspired option.

I started to write about this idea in last week’s post as part of the “Do Not Forsake Each Other” section, but I quickly realized there was way too much to say to fit in a concluding paragraph. Even in the church, I think we’re often too quick to jump to conclusions about peoples’ behavior. We may complain about, expose, ridicule, and cut them out of our lives without so much as a conversation to try and resolve our differences. That’s not how things are supposed to be. There has to be a better way.

Image of a group of people holding hands in a circle overlaid with text from Ephesians 4:31-32, NET version: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”
Image by Claudine Chaussé from Lightstock

A Way Beyond Compare

In Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians, he addresses their desire for spiritual gifts. It’s a good desire, since gifts used rightly benefit the entire church body. But Paul is also concerned that the way they’re approaching gifts might lead to conflicts and people thinking that one person’s gift or role is better than another’s. So he makes sure that they know there’s a better way.

But you should be eager for the greater gifts. And now I will show you a way that is beyond comparison.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but I do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so that I can remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I give over my body in order to boast, but do not have love, I receive no benefit.

Love is patient, love is kind, it is not envious. Love does not brag, it is not puffed up. It is not rude, it is not self-serving, it is not easily angered or resentful. It is not glad about injustice, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends. But if there are prophecies, they will be set aside; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be set aside. For we know in part, and we prophesy in part, but when what is perfect comes, the partial will be set aside. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. But when I became an adult, I set aside childish ways. For now we see in a mirror indirectly, but then we will see face to face. Now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I have been fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 12:31-13:13, NET

This is how we’re supposed to interact with each other. Without love guiding our actions, all the good things we do are empty. In the King James Bible, “love” was translated “charity.” It’s from the Greek word agape, or “brotherly love, affection, good will, love, benevolence” (Thayer’s dictionary, entry G26). This is the same word Peter used in his letter when he wrote, “Above all keep your love for one another fervent, because love covers a multitude of sins” (1 Pet. 4:8, NET).

Peter doesn’t mean that love ignores sins or says they’re okay. The full Proverb that he quoted says, “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all wrongs” (Prov. 10:12, WEB). There’s a stark contrast between how love handles things and the type of reaction that generates dissention, disagreement, strife, and broken relationships. The NET study note on Proverbs 10:12 says, “Love acts like forgiveness. Hatred looks for and exaggerates faults, but love seeks ways to make sins disappear.” Love is the way God interacts with us, and it’s how He wants us to interact with each other.

If we are patient and kind, avoiding envy, bragging, pride, rudeness, selfishness, anger, and resentment, then we’ll be acting in love and assuming positive intent on the part of people we interact with. Rather than looking for reasons to find fault or jumping on people the moment we spot what might be a sin, we should try to find ways to resolve things peaceably.

Image of two men at a table overlaid with text from 2 Timothy 2:22-25, NET version: “But keep away from youthful passions, and pursue righteousness, faithfulness, love, and peace, in company with others who call on the Lord from a pure heart. But reject foolish and ignorant controversies, because you know they breed infighting. And the Lord’s slave must not engage in heated disputes but be kind toward all, an apt teacher, patient, correcting opponents with gentleness.”
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When We’re Tempted to Give Up on Church

All too often, we see churches that are full of rifts and squabbles between the members and misunderstandings or even abuses of power from the ministry. There are times when we need to discontinue fellowship with someone because they are sinful and toxic, and times when accusations must be brought against those in ministry (1 Cor. 5:9-13; 1 Tim. 5:19-20). I don’t want to downplay those serious issues, but (as I mentioned in last week’s post) I suspect they’re less common than situations where pride, selfishness, impatience, and miscommunication are getting in the way of godly conflict resolution.

On the one hand, I understand why some people want to move away from organized church groups and how some develop antagonistic relationships with ministry. As an older teen and in my early 20s, there were several times I wanted to walk away from church even though I didn’t want to abandon my relationship with God. I found myself nodding along when people said that nothing was going to change until all the old ministers died off. I’d get irritated or even outraged when I heard of situations where a minister imposed stupid rules like no colorful socks at church or did something that seemed unbiblical like telling people not to host private Bible studies. I’ve felt stifled by church traditions, alone in congregations, and irritated that some people and/or rules seemed to get in the way of how I want to experience God.

But then I started listening to people more carefully. I heard more about behind-the-scenes reasons for some of the seemingly arbitrary rules in certain congregations. I built relationships with people in the ministry who are truly, deeply committed to doing things God’s way. I joined a small women’s group at church and learned more about their experiences and viewpoints. I don’t always agree with or understand the reasoning of everyone I encounter at church, but I believe that on the whole both ministers and my fellow church members have positive intentions. We all want to follow Jesus, honor God, and contribute positively to His church.

And he himself gave some as apostles, some as prophets, some as evangelists, and some as pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for the work of ministry, that is, to build up the body of Christ, until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God—a mature person, attaining to the measure of Christ’s full stature. So we are no longer to be children, tossed back and forth by waves and carried about by every wind of teaching by the trickery of people who craftily carry out their deceitful schemes. But practicing the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into Christ, who is the head. From him the whole body grows, fitted and held together through every supporting ligament. As each one does its part, the body builds itself up in love.

Ephesians 4:11-16, NET

This is how the church is supposed to work. It doesn’t always look like this, but that’s what we should all be working toward. And I think it will go a long way toward making the church more like this if we learn to assume positive intent on the part of other people. When you assume positive intent, you talk with people about your concerns instead of jumping to the conclusion that they’re intractable, malicious, or stupid. And we need to be able to talk with people to build real relationships and resolve conflicts.

Image of three smiling women overlaid with text from Ephesians 5:18-21, NET version: “be filled by the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing and making music in your hearts to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, and submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.”
Image by Pearl from Lightstock

The Necessity of Godly Conflict Resolution

Matthew 18 is an interesting chapter. In some Bibles, it’s divided up into four different headings but the whole thing is part of Jesus’s answer to a questions the disciples asked. They came to Him and said, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” (Matt. 18:1, NET).

He called a child, had him stand among them, and said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn around and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven! Whoever then humbles himself like this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

Matthew 18:2-3, NET

“Who will be greatest?” is not the right question to ask. That attitude needed to be turned around if they wanted to get into the kingdom of heaven. As Jesus goes on, He warns them against causing one of the “little ones” who believe in Him to sin. It would be better to cut off your own hand or foot than to be a stumbling block to yourself or others.

He then hammers the point home with the parable of the lost sheep. God is like a shepherd who notices if just one little lamb wanders off, and He cares deeply about keeping all His people in His flock. With that background information about how important it is to God that His flock stays together and the members don’t cause each other to stumble and sin, Jesus immediately goes into addressing Christian conflict resolution.

“In the same way, your Father in heaven is not willing that one of these little ones be lost.

“If your brother sins, go and show him his fault when the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have regained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others with you, so that at the testimony of two or three witnesses every matter may be established. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. If he refuses to listen to the church, treat him like a Gentile or a tax collector.

Matthew 18:14-15, NET (bold italics in original, marking a quotation from Deut 19:15)

The first step Jesus gives for resolving disputes in a godly way is much easier if you assume positive intent. Ideally, this first step is where it starts and stops. Something comes up, you go to your brother or sister in Christ and talk about it, and you mend the relationship. And yet, this is the step that is most often skipped. We often want to jump ahead to the “take one or two others with you” or “tell it to the church” steps, but that’s not the way to practice truth in love or build up the body (as Paul told us to do in Ephesians).

At this point in the conversation, Peter had a question. He came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times must I forgive my brother who sins against me? As many as seven times?” Jesus told Him he must be willing to forgive way more than that, and then illustrated His point with a parable.

Image of clasped hands with the blog's title text and the words "Let's each commit to doing our part to live peacefully with brothers and sisters in the faith, assume positive intent as we navigate our relationships, and refuse to give up on fellowshipping together as part of God's church."
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“For this reason, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his slaves. As he began settling his accounts, a man who owed 10,000 talents was brought to him. Because he was not able to repay it, the lord ordered him to be sold, along with his wife, children, and whatever he possessed, and repayment to be made. Then the slave threw himself to the ground before him, saying, ‘Be patient with me, and I will repay you everything.’ The lord had compassion on that slave and released him, and forgave him the debt. After he went out, that same slave found one of his fellow slaves who owed him 100 silver coins. So he grabbed him by the throat and started to choke him, saying, ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ Then his fellow slave threw himself down and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will repay you.’ But he refused. Instead, he went out and threw him in prison until he repaid the debt. When his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were very upset and went and told their lord everything that had taken place. Then his lord called the first slave and said to him, ‘Evil slave! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me! Should you not have shown mercy to your fellow slave, just as I showed it to you?’ And in anger his lord turned him over to the prison guards to torture him until he repaid all he owed. So also my heavenly Father will do to you, if each of you does not forgive your brother from your heart.”

Matthew 18:23-35, NET

This is serious stuff. Forgiveness from God is among the most precious gifts we receive. Our eternal lives depend on it. So when Jesus says the way we treat each other is so important that God’s forgiveness of us depends on our forgiveness of others, we need to sit up and pay attention. Forgiveness and conflict resolution among God’s people isn’t just God’s preference. It’s an imperative affecting our salvation.

God wants peace among His people and He intends for us to grow together as a whole church (i.e. followers of God who may attend different congregations but are united under the Head of the church, Jesus Christ), not simply as isolated individuals. We are admonished to “take thought of how to spur one another on to love and good works, not abandoning our own meetings, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other” (Heb. 10:23-25). There are times when it’s physically impossible to get together with other believers, and God understands that. But if you can gather with other believers and be part of a local church–or even set up something like virtual Bible studies, if you can’t meet in person–it’s far better to do that than to try to live as a solitary Christian. Let’s each commit to doing our part to live peacefully with all people–especially those who are brothers and sisters in the faith–, assume positive intent as we navigate our relationships, and refuse to give up on fellowshipping together as part of God’s church.

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Song Recommendation: “We Need Each Other” by Sanctus Real

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Do Not Forsake

Do Not Forsake

Marissa

We’re likely all familiar with God’s promises that He won’t forsake us. Yet we also know that even Jesus cried out, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” when He hung on the cross (Matt. 27:46, WEB). While God always keeps His promises–including the one not to leave or forsake us–sometimes we still feel like we’re abandoned.

Our worries about this can become worse when we read of times when God said He has or will forsake certain people. He warned ancient Israel about the consequences of forsaking Him early in their relationship, and He later bemoaned the fact that His people did forsake Him. Their choice to abandon God led to a rift in that relationship. He never breaks covenant and isn’t the first to forsake a relationship, but human actions to move away from Him can result in distance from God.

Like the covenant God made with Israel, our relationship with Him is a reciprocal one–we need to stay faithful and involved in the relationship if we want to stay close to God. As we think about the importance of not abandoning our relationship with God, there’s a collective as well as individual responsibility. We’re not supposed to abandon our individual relationships with God, but we’re also not supposed to forsake the fellowship of other believers. I think the instruction to stay committed to your relationship with God’s church is closely tied to the responsibility to not abandon God Himself.

Lord, Do Not Forsake Us

One of the things that we find in the Psalms is snapshots of different seasons we can go through in our relationships with God. Thinking of the Psalms as windows into the many different ways Godly people can relate to God is a helpful approach since we’re not going to resonate with every single Psalm at the same time. Some Psalms speak of times when the writer was confident and bold in their walk with God. Some picture times of peace and contentment in relation to God. Others show what it can be like during times of wrestling and struggle, uncertain of what God is doing and why He seems distant.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from helping me, and from the words of my groaning?

Psalm 22:1, WEB

Do not reject me. Do not push your servant away in anger. You are my deliverer. Do not forsake or abandon me, O God who vindicates me.

Psalm 27:9, NET

Don’t reject me in my old age. Don’t forsake me when my strength fails.

Psalm 71:9, WEB

It’s not unusual to feel that God has forsaken us; even Jesus quoted Psalm 22 when He hung on the cross. It’s also acceptable to plead with Him not to forsake us, as the Psalmists do here and in other passages (Psalm 38:21; 71:18; 119:8; 138:8). People who trust and love God may still cry out to Him, “Do not forsake us.”

God preemptively answered these cries with many promises that He will not forsake us. One of these promises appeared in the Torah and would have been familiar to the psalmists. However, it was followed by a warning that if ancient Israel forsook God first, then He would forsake them in the sense that He would not dwell among them and save them from their enemies (Deut. 31:1-8, 16-17). Perhaps the psalmists were thinking of the reciprocal nature of faith and covenants when they prayed, reminding God that they haven’t forsaken Him and so He had no reason to forsake them.

Image of a woman reading the Bible overlaid with text from Hebrews 13:5-6, WEB version: He has said, “I will in no way leave you, neither will I in any way forsake you.” So that with good courage we say, “The Lord is my helper. I will not fear. What can man do to me?"
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Do Not Forsake the Lord

We humans tend to be self-focused, and it’s no surprise that we’re preoccupied with making sure God and the people we care about don’t forsake us. But we also need to be aware that those we’re in relationship with have similar expectations. God echoes the sentiment of “Do not forsake Me” back to us when He bemoans the rift in relationship that happened when His people forsook Him.

Yet you have forsaken me and served other gods. Therefore I will save you no more.

Judges 10:13, WEB

Yahweh is with you, while you are with him; and if you seek him, he will be found by you; but if you forsake him, he will forsake you.

2 Chronicles 15:2,WEB

For my people have committed two evils: they have forsaken me, the spring of living waters, and cut out cisterns for themselves: broken cisterns that can’t hold water.

Jeremiah 2:13, WEB

There are consequences for forsaking relationship with God, even including being forsaken by Him. That’s a sobering thought. We know sins can separate us from God (Isaiah 59:1-2), and unrepented sin on top of unrepented sin can even lead to God forsaking temporarily, the way He did with ancient Israel.

For Yahweh has called you as a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit,
even a wife of youth, when she is cast off,” says your God.
“For a small moment I have forsaken you,
but I will gather you with great mercies.
In overflowing wrath I hid my face from you for a moment,
but with everlasting loving kindness I will have mercy on you,” says Yahweh your Redeemer.

Isaiah 54:6-8, WEB

I don’t think of this so much as God abandoning the relationship (He is never the one who breaks covenants), but as us pulling away so far that He isn’t close to us anymore. And if we break covenant with Him, restoring the relationship requires something drastic (i.e. Jesus Christ’s sacrifice removing our sins). Thankfully, God in His mercy set things up so we can repent and turn back to Him, restoring relationship when we ask for forgiveness, change, and live in obedient harmony with Him.

Do Not Forsake Each Other

Image of an man reading the Bible with the blog's title text and the words "In times of trouble or loneliness, we might be concerned by a feeling that God has forsaken us. This is also something that concerns Him—He doesn’t want us to forsake our relationships with Him or His people either."
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I heard an analogy once on a Christian radio station that has stuck with me for years. If your spouse said, “Darling, I love your head but I could do without your body,” would you feel loved? That’s essentially what we’re saying to God if we say, “Hey, I like Jesus but I could really do without all these Christians.”

And God put all things under Christ’s feet, and gave him to the church as head over all things. Now the church is his body, the fullness of him who fills all in all.

Ephesians 1:22-23, NET

We need to hold fast to the Head, Jesus Christ, but we do so as part of a collective body. The body/church is supposed to all hold on to Jesus Christ together and grow together (Eph. 2:20-23; 4:11-16). We have individual relationships with God and we work on our own salvation with His help, but it’s always in the context of the larger house, temple, or body (NT writers use various analogies) that God is building. It’s all of us together that make up the temple of God. We need each other.

 Let’s consider how to provoke one another to love and good works, not forsaking our own assembling together, as the custom of some is, but exhorting one another, and so much the more as you see the Day approaching.

Hebrews 10:24-25, WEB

This is a direct instruction not to forsake each other. There are times when not assembling is unavoidable–health issues, lack of transportation, extreme distance, and persecutions can all make it impossible for some people to regularly gather with other believers. But if we don’t gather with others in the church–the body of Jesus Christ–it shouldn’t be by our own choice. We should never be the thing that stands in the way of fellowshipping with God’s people.

That said, I also want to acknowledge there are times when we need to discontinue fellowship with someone because they are sinful and toxic, and times when legitimate accusations must be brought against those in ministry (1 Cor. 5:9-13; 1 Tim. 5:19-20). I don’t want to downplay those serious issues, but I suspect they’re less common than situations where pride, selfishness, impatience, and miscommunication are getting in the way of godly conflict resolution and relationship restoration.

 Love must be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil, cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another with mutual love, showing eagerness in honoring one another. Do not lag in zeal, be enthusiastic in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, endure in suffering, persist in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints, pursue hospitality. Bless those who persecute you, bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another; do not be haughty but associate with the lowly. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil; consider what is good before all people. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people.

Romans 12:9-17, NET

As I read this, I feel convicted. There are several of these things that I neglect to do regularly and some instructions that I’ve even acted in opposition to (e.g. being reluctant to honor others instead of eager, or unwilling to bless those who’ve hurt me). But can you imagine how much different our lives, relationships, and churches would look if we all really followed Paul’s instructions here? It would be such a wonderful transformation, and getting to that point starts with each of us committing to living this out as far as depends on us.

God promises not to forsake us. He expects a similar commitment from us. He knows we’re not perfect, but we must do our best to remain faithfully committed to Him and fellowship with other believers if at all possible (and repent, ask for forgiveness, and change when we miss the mark). With God’s help, we can live securely in harmony with the Father, Jesus Christ, and the family they are building.

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Song Recommendation: “Come People of the Risen King” by Keith & Kristyn Getty

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