Tag: INFJ

Outlets

Marissa

"Outlets" by marissabaker.wordpress.comMy dad gave a sermon this past weekend where one of the points he made involved an analogy about the Sea of Galilee and the Dead Sea. The Sea of Galilee is a healthy body of water — Israel’s main source of freshwater in fact, according to the Google — because it has an outlet that keeps the water fresh. The Dead Sea, on the other hand, has no outlet so the minerals keep building up to the point that nothing can live there. Out of curiosity, I looked up both these lakes on Google Maps satellite images. There is a striking difference even from this distance.

There’s a spiritual lesson in this, which is what was brought out in the sermon. If we don’t share and use the gifts that God gives us, we will stagnate instead of growing and bearing spiritual fruit.

The other thing I thought about in connection to this idea is how much I need an outlet for my thoughts. Apparently this is something that MBTI types who use Extraverted Feeling as a primary (ESFJs and ENFJs) or secondary function (ISFJs and INFJs) have in common. We need to express our feelings and thoughts in some way in order to process them. I’d been thinking about re-writing my About page for a while, and this idea lead me to a better way of articulating the purpose of this blog. Here’s the update:

The Sea of Galilee in Israel is a thriving, beautiful lake that acts as the main water source for all of Israel. Its outflow is the Jordan River, which flows to the Dead Sea. The water there is brackish — 25% salts — and the minerals continue to build up because there is nowhere for the water to flow out of the sea. The Dead Sea is dead because it has no outlet.

This blog is my outlet for random thoughts that pop in my head (Monday’s posts), recipes I like (Wednesday’s posts), and Bible Studies I want to share (Saturday’s posts). Monday’s posts can be about pretty much anything — MBTI types, yurts, and Doctor Who just to name a few. Cooking is something that makes me feel alive, and so Wednesday’s posts are all about making food. I love to come up with and perfect recipes and watch people enjoying the food I make. The most important outlet, though, are the posts on Saturdays. God has worked amazingly in my life, and if we keep silent about His majesty the rocks will cry out to sing his praises. When He leads my Bible study, I don’t want to keep what I learn confined to the growing stack of notebooks in my closet any more.

A Completely Subjective Book List

Marissa

Sometimes I like reading posts titled things like “Books Every Family Should Have In Their Library,” “Best YA Books of All Time,” and “Top 100 Fantasy Books Ever.” While I’ll occasionally get an idea for a new book to read, I usually end up checking to see if they’ve “rightly” included any books I like or “wrongly” included books I hate. One thing that always amuses me, at least slightly, is how all these lists propose to be good for every family or include all the best books even though it’s clear all such lists are completely subjective.

For this list, I’m not even going to try to be objective or include all the best books. This is an unabashed list of my favorite books, which I irrationally think everyone should read and enjoy just as much as I do. They aren’t even organized alphabetically — just whichever popped into my head first.

My “Must Read” Books

Mara: Daughter of the Nile

My mother gave me Mara, by Eloise Jarvis McGraw, when studying ancient Egypt in elementary school and I’ve read it pretty much every year since. It has everything a book needs — strong characters, good writing, and intriguing plot. On top of the admirable writing is danger, mystery, and romance. Spies! Double agents! Political intrigue! It also features the most romantic (possibly the only romantic) attempted murder in literary history. If I’m forced to choose just one favorite book, this is the one I pick.

Ender’s Game

Moving from one of my oldest favorites to one of the newest. I first read Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card at the end of last year. It’s brilliant. I’ve written about it before, so I won’t spend much more time telling you how wonderful this book is, especially the characters. I cried buckets of tears in the last chapter.

The Blue Sword

Written by Robin McKinley, this may very well be my favorite fantasy book. Like Mara, The Blue Sword features a strong female protagonist and an irresistible hero (let me just say Corlath is the only person who I wouldn’t mind being abducted by [this statement will make sense if you read the book]). McKinley’s world building, characters, and story are excellent. My only quibble with this story is that, like many of her books, it doesn’t really end. It’s as if the author wasn’t sure how to end the story, so she slapped an epilog on and called it the last chapter. Perhaps I should just say that is part of the book’s irresistible charm.

Pride and Prejudice

I know it’s a terribly predictable title to include — couldn’t I have at least chosen one of Jane Austen’s lesser-known works? But I’ve read all six of Austen’s major novels at least once (some two or three times), and Pride and Prejudice remains my favorite. Maybe it’s the fact that people type Lizzie Bennet as an INFJ (which I’m not entirely convinced of, but it would explain why I identify with her so much). Perhaps it’s because Mr. Darcy is my favorite of Austen’s men. Whatever it is, Pride and Prejudice is firmly on my recommended reading list.

Fairy Tales

Not a single book, but it would take to long to list them all separately. I recommend Jack Zipes’ translation of The Complete Fairy Tales of the Brothers Grimm, augmented liberally with Hans Christian Anderson and Charles Perrault. The reasons for this have been explored at length in my posts Fairy Tales and Dark Fairy Tales, so I’ll not devote any more time here on describing their merits.

A Gown Of Spanish Lace

Roses for Mama

I read Christian fiction on an irregular basis, usually because I want a easy-to-read book that doesn’t require much thought to digest and might supply some spiritual encouragement (yes, I know that sounds terrible). In spite of my generally low expectations, two books by Janette Oke have made it to my favorites list. A Gown of Spanish Lace has outlaws.  Roses for Mama is simply charming.

Dinotopia

If I was offered the chance to move to any fictional place I wanted, I’d pack up right this minute and relocate to James Gurney’s Dinotopia. Who wouldn’t want to live in world filled with dinosaurs and without any worries about money? Specifically, I want to visit Waterfall City and the coastal towns along Warmwater Bay where you can swim with cryptoclidus. Once you’ve read Gurney’s first book Dinotopia: A Land Apart From Time, I advise moving on to Dinotopia Lost by Alan Dean Foster. I’ve read that one at least four times.

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Fictional MBTI — Loki

Marissa

Update: Click here for a newer post about Loki with a more complete type analysis.

Over the past couple weeks, without even looking for them, I’ve stumbled upon two blogs talking about Myers-Briggs types for fictional characters. One is a Tumbler called MBTI in Fiction. The other is a blog titled A Little Bit of Personality, with a series of posts analyzing heroic archetypes.

I’ve been intrigued by the characters each of these writers choose to type as INFJs. Neither of these writer’s are INFJs themselves (the writer from “MBTI in Fiction” is an ENTJ and the writer of “A Little Bit of Personality” is an ENTP), and it’s interesting to see who non-INFJs think are INFJs. I don’t always agree with them, but it’s interesting.

Loki

Fictional INFJs -- Loki. marissabaker.wordpress.comThis was the first post I saw from MBTI in Fiction. My initial reaction was, “There’s no way Loki and I have the same personality type.” But I agree that he’s an introvert, and I don’t think he’s logical or grounded enough to be either an S or a T type, so that leaves us with INFJ or INFP. (Some people type him as an INTJ Mastermind, but he seems to rely on Extroverted Feeling more than Extroverted Thinking as a function).

Both INFJs and INFPs feel everything very deeply and trust their intuition. However, INFPs tend to keep their emotions to themselves, though feelings will inform all their actions. Outwardly, they appear “receptive and non-judgmental.” INFJs prefer to approach the world through Introverted Intuition (Ni), followed by Extroverted Feeling (Fe). They are the rarest type, often question their sanity,  rely strongly on their intuitions about people, and tend to talk about their feelings. Dr. A.J. Drenth’s profile includes this descriptions, which I think sounds a lot like Loki (as played by Tom Hiddleston in The Avengers):

INFJs are far less serious inwardly than they may appear outwardly. Their inner world is well described as playful, imaginative, colorful, mischievous, and daring. Characterized by Perceiving rather than Judging, it is far less controlled and regulated than that of INFPs. INFJs love playing with ideas, perspectives, theories, images, symbols, and metaphors.

Another reason I’ve been won-over to typing Loki as an INFJ is because of the description of INFJ villains on A Little Bit of Personality’s page. It really does sound like Loki, and the last line hits a little too close to home for me to brush this analysis off as written by someone who just doesn’t understand INFJs.

When turned to villainy, the INFJ is *creepy*! There isn’t really any other word for it. Dark Paladins are the best of manipulators because they are incredibly intuitive about people and can apply their mild-manneredness to going under the radar as long as they need to, manipulating others who would never suspect them. Because they are so good at this and *know* it, pure-hearted INFJ’s often wonder if they are secretly evil and manipulative at heart, like one day they’ll wake up and realize they were bad all along.

Future Posts?

I was planning on covering several characters, but after I started writing Loki I decided one would be enough for a single post. Maybe I’ll write more at some other time, if anyone is interested. Are there any characters you’ve been thinking are INFJs? Would you be interested in me typing non-INFJ characters?

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You Know You’re an INFJ When …

Marissa

Over the past few weeks, it has become apparent from comments on this blog and Word Press’s statistics that my writings about INFJs, introverts, and personality type are by far the most popular. Even though it’s been two full months since I wrote Things You Should Know About INFJs, it gets more than twice as many views per week than the newer posts. Since INFJs are one of the personality types most likely to read about themselves and look for answers about how they think, I guess this shouldn’t be surprising.

Am I An INFJ?

INFJoe has a great website with personality comics. Click on the image to visit his website

If this is a question you’ve asked yourself, that’s a pretty good sign you’re an NF type. If we accept David Keirsey‘s ideas on personality type, NF Idealists are by far the most likely type to be searching for identity.

Do you know your Myers-Briggs type? How did you discover it and in what way, if any, has this knowledge affected you?

I discovered my personality type was INFJ after taking a free test based on the MBTI around the time I graduated high school. Since taking the official test wasn’t an option at the time, I tracked down several free versions online (here’s one that’s pretty good) to compare results. Then, I read many descriptions of INFJ types online and in books, and they fit me so well that I’m certain this type is correct.

Signs You’re An INFJ

Here are a few results I found while glancing over a forum on TypeologyCentral called “You know you’re an INFJ when…” It is 231 pages long, was started in 2008, and is still active. These are all quotes from the first two pages.

  • You’re convinced you can make positive change for humanity happen if you just keep working on your vision…
  • You’ve figured out that you don’t fit any other type well.
  • Had a co-worker this summer tell me about her cheating on her husband. You know, after knowing her for all of a week. It seems like everyone wants to share any dark/weird stories with me.
  • You can’t act on something you know logically is the right course of action until its ethically justified for you.
  • You’re pretty sure something is a lost cause, but you have to try anyway for conscience sake.

To a certain extent, all these are true for me (the third one as a general principle — random strangers confiding weirdly personal things with little or no encouragement). The top points on my personal list are a little different, however. The following are typical of most INFJs, and ring especially true for me.

  • Conflict is tremendously uncomfortable. Even tense moments are hard (especially, for some reason, while eating dinner)
  • You have a well developed “rich inner world” and/or the feeling that you belong in a fantasy world rather than the real one
  • It seems easy to pick up on other people’s emotions and mirror them while you are talking.
  • You’re a spiritual/religious person who frequently ponders deep and/or abstract ideas
  • You are fascinated by personality types and enjoy figuring out what other people’s types are
  • There a struggle between needing to be around people so you can connect with them and share your thoughts, and an introvert’s desire for alone time

If you’re an INFJ, what would you add to this list? What convinced you this type is the one that fits you?

If you’d like to know more about the INFJ personality type, check out my book The INFJ Handbook. I just updated it with a ton of new information and resources. You can purchase it in ebook or paperback by clicking this link.

What If …

Marissa

Instead of my usual Bible Study type post for Saturday, I thought I would share a few of the Bible-related thoughts that have been rolling around in my mind lately. It would be awesome if these sparked a discussion in the comments 😉

Green and Blue

What if the sky and oceans are blue and plants are green because those are God’s favorite colors? I know about the scientific explanations for why chlorophyll in plant leaves is green and how the atmosphere scatters blue light, but I’m thinking about when the science behind the colors was created. I’m sure God could have set up the world so it looked purple and orange, or red and yellow, or any other combination of colors.

The really cool thing is, if you Google “Which colors are the most relaxing?” the top results are green and blue. Psychologists, designers, and certain philosophies all agree these are the most calming, peaceful colors. Blue triggers feelings of serenity, lower blood pressure, and people are more productive in a blue room. Green is calming, refreshing, and the easiest color for our eyes to look at. Isn’t it amazing that God surrounds us with colors designed to make us feel better?

Planks in Eyes

Reverendfun.com 01-23-2001What if the parts of the Bible we avoid the most are the parts we need to listen to the closest? Perhaps the verses that make us angry are the ones which should inspire us to search for planks in our eyes (Matt. 7:1-5).

Here’s  a couple examples I’ve been thinking about. The Bible teaches that women are to submit to their husbands (Eph. 5:22-24), not teach in church(1 Tim. 2:12), and maintain a physical appearance that clearly shows they are women instead of men (Deut. 22:5; 1 Cor. 11:2-15). Perhaps feeling threatened by such verses is a sign that we could be doing better at exercising Godly femininity. Similarly, there are plenty of verses instructing Christians not give the people of God a bad name by resisting human governments (Rom. 13:1-7; 1 Pet. 2:17). Yet these verses are often ignored or scoffed at by those in the church who are most vocal politically. It bothers me.

Jesus and the MBTI

For my last “What if …?” I want to talk about a question that has lead several people to my blog recently. Looking at a summary of search terms used, I see “Jesus infj,” “is Jesus an infj?” and “was Jesus an infj.” Since people are ending up on my blog because of this question, I thought I would address it. To me, it seems almost sacrilegious to claim we’ve pinned down Jesus’s personality type. If there was ever anyone who couldn’t be classified or put into a single box, I think it would be Him. If, however, we accept the idea that personality types exist and people can be categorized by them at least loosely, having a specific personality type could have been part of Jesus’s experience when living a human life. With that as our foundation, I think it would be safe to say Jesus is most like the group David Keirsey called “Idealists.” Of this type, Keirsey says in the description on his website,

Idealists (NFs), as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self — always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey.

From there, we have four Myers-Briggs types: the Teacher (ENFJ), the Counselor (INFJ), the Champion (ENFP), and the Healer (INFP). Though I’ve read arguments that go back and forth on whether Jesus was an introvert or an extrovert, I’m not going to offer my opinion or try to narrow this down any more.

The INFJ Stare

The INFJ Stare

Marissa

Last week, I noticed that one of the Google searches that led to my blog was “INFJ stare.” My reaction was, “We have a stare?” I immediately posted the question to Facebook and performed a Google search of my own. One of my friends sent me this image of the dreaded “INFJ Death Stare:”

INFJ death stare

Apparently, only non-INFJs consider this a “stare of death.” We INFJs don’t really think about it much at all until someone points it out. But other types do notice. In one forum I found, an ISTP asked, “What’s going on in your head when you do it? Why do INFJ girls stare at me after every other thing I say? It makes me feel like I’m creeping them out or something, but they continue to talk to me regardless how creepy I may/may not be.”

What’s Going On Behind The Stare

Among INFJs, the consensus is that we don’t meant to give you a death stare. It’s simply our default thinking expression. The INFJs who know that they stare actually spend quite a bit of time trying not to creep people out with it. We’re awkward enough as it is without having to worry about people asking why we’re giving them the death stare.

This isn’t the same thing as “resting bitch face.” People don’t generally describe the INFJ death stare as being rude or angry. It’s just hard for other people to read. And once I’d read several comments along those line, I realized I do indeed have an INFJ stare. I just didn’t realize it at first because the people who’ve asked me about it generally describe it as “spacing out.”

INFJ Eyes

Benedict Cumberbatch Sherlock stareEven though there’s a “J” in INFJ, we’re a Perception-Dominant type Introverted intuition is a perceiving function, and that’s what we lead with (click here for more information about Myers-Briggs® Functions).

According to an analysis on infjs.com, eyes are the “most prevailing part” of a perception-dominant type’s faces. The typical INFJ will maintain a very steady focus on people or objects for long stretches of time, and when we shift our gaze to something new our whole head turns to look. Of the infamous stare, this writer says, “The eyes fall into a dream-like state and stare off into the distance. The eyes will appear to be looking through the object of it’s focus, rather than being fixated on it.”

One of the results that I found while looking up INFJ stares was an extensive two-part analysis of why Benedict Cumberbatch might be an INFJ. That’s where I found this gif. It’s no secret that I’m a fan of his, but this was a little over-the-top-obsessed even for me.  I did, however, find it an amusing read. It also demonstrates that INFJ eyes are apparently interesting enough that some people will spend hours of time analyzing them.

Dealing With the Death Stare

The INFJ Stare | LikeAnAnchor.com
Photo credit: luxstorm via Pixabay

While listening to a church service this past weekend, I realized I was making an effort to soften my eyes and smile a little instead of just staring at the speaker. I hadn’t really thought about before, but I have been trying to teach myself a more open and welcoming “default expression.” My sister once described this as my “interview face.” I suppose even though I hadn’t been thinking that I had a “death stare,” I still realized it made people uncomfortable and was trying to change it.

If you’re an INFJ, you’re probably already trying not to make people uncomfortable with you’re staring (which also makes it more effective when you want to give someone a death stare, since they won’t have seen it before).

If you’re talking to an INFJ and we do start staring off into the distance or through you, try not to be offended by it. We really don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. At least, not usually 😉

 

Featured image credit: Free-Photos via Pixabay

If you’d like to know more about the INFJ personality type, check out my book The INFJ Handbook. I just updated it with a ton of new information and resources. You can purchase it in ebook or paperback by clicking this link.