Another 5 Favorite Proverbs

1 March, 20141 March, 2014Marissa

I’ve finished making my way through a study of Proverbs, in preparation for my church’s women’s group discussion about favorite proverbs that is taking place this afternoon. My first post covered five proverbs from chapters 1-10, the second covered five from chapters 11-20, and this last post is for chapters 21-31. I still haven’t decided which of these 15 is my favorite, but at least I’ve narrowed it down to 15.

11: Reputation

A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, loving favor rather than silver and gold. (Prov. 22:1)

I just heard a sermonette last week about God giving people names with meanings that fit the roles He designated them for — Jesus = savior; Paul = small; Peter = a little stone; Abraham = father of a multitude. From what I understand, names in Hebrew thought are inseparable from the essence, character, and reputation of a person. Therefore, it is better to have a good reputation, a name worthy of respect, than to have great riches. The word for “favor,” which is described as better than silver and gold, is from the word chen (H2580), and it means “favor, kindness, grace, loveliness, charm, preciousness.”

12: Deliverance

For a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again, but the wicked shall fall by calamity. (Prov. 24:16)

It doesn’t promise that if you are a just person you will never fall — it says you will be able to get back up rather than fall deeper into mischief. “Many are the afflictions of the righteous,” David said, “but the Lord delivers him out of them all” (Ps. 34:19). If — when — we fall, we can be assured that God is holding our hand and will help pick us back up (Ps. 37:24).

13: Friends

Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. (Prov. 27:6)

King Lear would have been a very different play had the titular character been heeding this advice. When a friend wounds you, it is generally 1) an accident, or 2) with a view to your good. David wrote, “Let the righteous strike me; it shall be a kindness. And let him rebuke me; it shall be as excellent oil; let my head not refuse it” (Ps. 141.5). It might make us angry at first, but if we are honest with ourselves, we can often see that we were reproved out of love, and that we become better people with a stronger friendship as a result. In contrast, listening to the flattering words of those who secretly seek our hurt can only lead to grief.

14: Guardrail

Every word of God is pure; He is a shield to those who put their trust in Him. (Prov. 30:5)

Here we leave Solomon’s proverbs and read “the words of Agur the son of Jakeh” (Prov. 30:1). This is a two-fold promise. Firstly, that God’s words are free of imperfections. As such, it is all profitable and no part should be ignored or neglected (2 Tim. 3:16). Secondly, that the Lord shields those who trust in Him. This was a frequent subject in Psalms, such as “For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord will give grace and glory; no good thing will He withhold from those who walk uprightly” (Ps. 84:11). Connecting these two points is the fact that God’s commands are designed to protect us, as illustrated by this comic I saw on Facebook the other day.

15: Beauty

Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. (Prov. 31:30)

This is from the end of the virtuous woman passage contained in “words of King Lemuel, the utterance which his mother taught him” (Prov. 31:1). When I was younger, I latched on to this verse as a substitute for my perceived lack of beauty — if I couldn’t be pretty, I could at least fear God and earn praise that way. As I’ve become more comfortable with myself and more mature as a Christian, my views on this verse have changed. I concentrate more on the last half of the verse, asking “How can I be a woman who fears the Lord?”

Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel — rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. (! Pet. 3:3-4)

No-Knead Cinnamon Rolls

26 February, 201425 February, 2014Marissa

I found this recipe on Pinterest, and it’s the only cinnamon roll recipe I make now. It’s originally from a blog called pReCiouS MoMentS. I’ve changed measurements that were in grams to cups or tablespoons, to make it easier to American cooks to follow. I also changed the scalding instructions — I wanted an exact temperature to aim for so I didn’t scorch the milk or kill the yeast, and it takes much less than an hour for my milk to cool to the right temperature. My rolls also have less filling, and I’ve added a glaze.

No-Knead Cinnamon Rolls

No-Knead Cinnamon Roll recipe, marissabaker.wordpress.com — first round of ingredients ready

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Dough

1 cup milk

1/4 cup brown sugar

1/4 cup canola oil

1 teaspoon yeast

1 cup all-purpose flour

1 cup white whole-wheat flour

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1/4 teaspoon baking powder

1/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt

Filling

1 Tablespoon cinnamon

4 Tablespoons brown sugar

2 Tablespoons unsalted butter, melted

Glaze

1/2 cup powdered sugar

1/4 teaspoon vanilla

1 Tablespoon milk

Mix milk, sugar and vegetable oil in a pan. Scald by heating to 150°F. Leave to cool for about 20 minutes, or until the temperatures is between 105°F and 115°F. Sprinkle yeast over the scaled mixture and let sit for about 5 minutes.

Place 2 cups flour in a mixing bowl. Make a well in the center and add scalded mixture. Stir with a spatula until it comes together to form a thick batter. Cover and let the batter sit for at least 1 hour.

Add the remaining 1/4 cup flour, baking powder, baking soda, and salt. Stir until the mixture comes together. Rolls can be made now, or covered and chilled until needed. Dough will be easier to work with if chilled.

When ready to make the rolls, mix ground cinnamon and sugar in a small bowl. Dust the work surface and the top and bottom of dough freely with flour. Roll out the dough into a thin, rectangular shape. Dust the dough and work surface with flour when necessary.

Brush the rolled out dough with melted butter. Sprinkle the cinnamon sugar mixture evenly over the surface. Roll the dough neatly in a line towards you, rolling as tightly as possible. Pinch the seams to seal.

Cut into 1-inch thick slices and arrange in a baking pan greased with butter. Use one 9×13-inch baking pan, or two 8×8-inch baking pans. Place the rolls close together so that they are almost touching.

Cover and leave to rise for 30 to 60 minutes, or until the rolls double in size. Rolls can be left to chill in the fridge over night and baked the next morning. If rolls have doubled in size in the refrigerator, bake right away. Otherwise leave to sit on counter until they double. Bake in preheated oven at 375°F for 12-16 minutes, or until golden brown.

Let rolls cool on the counter. Mix glaze ingredients and drizzle over cooled rolls.

Alphabet Name List

24 February, 201423 February, 2014Marissa

I recently set up an account with my favorite name website, NameBerry. For me, it’s almost as potentially addictive as Pinterest — I could spend hours browsing names, interacting with other writers, and discussing the best names for other people’s children. One of the forum topics I stumbled across last week was about favorite names from each letter of the alphabet.

When I tried to fill out the alphabet chart, there were some letters (A, C, and S) that were hard to narrow down to just one name each for boys and girls. Other letters (O and U), I had hard time finding anything I liked or would actually use even on a fictional person. It was fun, though, and I decided to share it here as well as on that site.

I’ve mentioned my name obsession before, along with a few of my favorite names. This list is longer, and includes a few that I like the sound of more than the meaning. The two that aren’t linked to NameBerry or another website are from fantasy stories. Brigan is my favorite character from Kristian Cashore’s book Fire, and while it is used as a last name there doesn’t appear to be a distinct meaning. Faramir is from Tolkein’s Lord of the Rings and means “sufficient jewel” or “jeweled hunter” in Elvish.

Boy and Girl Alphabet Names

Alasdair and Aithne
Brigan and Brianne
Callen and Chasia
Derek and Desiree
Ethan and Eliana
Faramir and Felicity
Garreth and Gabriela
Hugh and Huali
Iain and Illiani
Jace and Jeanette
Kevin and Kaira
Lance and Liya
Merrick and Marina
Neil and Nuriel
Ohan and Ondine
Peregrin and Petra
Quade and Quarry
Rohan and Raine
Shane and Simone
Tristan and Talia
Ulric and Udelia
Vigo and Vivian
Wyatt and Waverly
Xavier and Xandra
Yevgeny and Yasmine
Zachary and Zoe

Five More Favorite Proverbs

22 February, 201421 February, 2014Marissa

As I continue my study of Proverbs, I keep finding more and more to put on my favorites list. Last week, I shared five favorites from the first 10 chapters of Proverbs. Here are my top five from chapters 11 through 20.

I’m having a hard enough time narrowing it down to five verses for every 10 chapters — I’m not sure how I’ll settle on just one favorite for our study discussion next month. Perhaps I’ll bring a list roughly organized by which one I want to talk about most, and then cross-off any that someone mentions before I do.

6: Graciousness

A gracious woman retains honor, but ruthless men retain riches. (Prov. 11:16)

It is for the first half of this verse that I have included it here. Ever since my career adviser at OSU told me I was very gracious in the way I responded when she had to take a phone call while we were meeting, I’ve paid extra attention to verses like this. I liked how it felt to be considered gracious — it was a description I’ve always thought held value, but this was the first time someone applied it to me. I want to be a grace-filled woman, and I hope to give people that impression of me.

7: Desire

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life. (Prov. 13:12)

There are many hopes I have that have been deferred (marriage and a family of my own, to name one). I have to believe, though, that God does not want to make our hearts sick. Therefore, when our hopes are deferred, it must be for a good reason. Perhaps it is to teach us to trust Him long-term — if all our hopes were fulfilled instantly I doubt we would appreciate His gifts very much. Psalm 37 says if we delight in the Lord, “He shall give you the desires of your heart.” If we trust in Him and commit lives to following Him, He will bring about our desires (Ps. 37:4-5). God wants to give us good things. He wants us to be delighted.

8: Peace

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov. 15:1)

A cross reference in my study Bible gives an example of this in Judges 8:1-3. The men of Ephraim were chiding Gideon sharply for not calling them to fight with him against Midian. Instead of answering them in kind, he diplomatically diffused the situation and “their anger toward him subsided.” The flip side of this principle, of course, is that being snappish and peevish stirs up an angry response in others and leads to escalating arguments. We need to be moving toward peace instead of anger. “Blessed are the peacemakers,” Christ said, “for they shall be called sons of God” (Matt. 5:9).

9: Thoughts

Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established. (Prov. 16:3)

I find it interesting that in this verse, it says your “thoughts will be established.” Related verses talk about God establishing our ways and caring for our wants, but this one focuses on the state of our minds. It is like Philippians 4:6-9 in a single verse.

10: Quiet

He that hath knowledge spareth his words: and a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding. (Prov. 17:27-28)

How little we value the skill and gift of quietness in today’s society. Words fitly spoken are beautiful (Prov. 25:11), but there are also many times when it is more beautiful to be “swift to hear, slow to speak” (James 1:19).

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Walnut Bars

19 February, 2014Marissa

There are few foods I like better than warm oatmeal walnut bars fresh from the oven, oozing chocolate when you cut into them. The only problem is that they are so tasty — and just as addictive as my blond brownies — that is is hard to save enough to take to whatever event I decided to bake them for.

Chocolate Chip Oatmeal Walnut Bars

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1 cup butter, softened

3/4 cup packed brown sugar

1/2 cup sugar

2 teaspoons vanilla extract

2 eggs

1 1/4 cups old-fashioned rolled oats

1 cup whole wheat flour

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

1 teaspoon baking soda

Dash salt

1 (12-oz.) pkg. chocolate chips

1 cup chopped walnuts

Beat butter, brown sugar, sugar and vanilla in a large bowl until smooth. Add eggs one at a time, mixing well after each addition.

Combine oats, whole wheat flour, all-purpose flour, baking soda and salt in medium bowl. Slowly add flour mixture to butter mixture, beating until well-blended. Stir in chocolate chips and walnuts.

Spoon and spread dough in greased 15x10x1-inch pan. Bake at 375°F for 15 to 20 minutes or until golden brown. Remove to counter and let cool.

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Empathic Feeling

17 February, 20144 June, 2014Marissa

I realized Tuesday night when I was reading Fire by Kristin Cashore and crying into the bath water that I wasn’t crying because I felt sad a character had died. I was crying because someone in the book felt sad that this character had died. Once I thought about it, I realized that at least half of the times when fiction moves me to tears, it is in empathy with the characters rather than my own feelings being affected. In other words, I’m crying because the character is crying, not because of what moved the character to tears. Sometimes it is both (Ender’s Game, for example).

This feeling other people’s feelings (fictional and real) is something I didn’t have much of a grasp on until I discovered my Myers-Briggs type and started reading what other INFJs wrote about being overwhelmed with the emotions of others. Adding high sensitivity to the mix only heightens this (here is a wonderful article about Elaine Aaron’s research on the Highly Sensitive Person).

A Range of Empathy

The extent to which INFJs report feeling other people’s emotions range from an awareness of how others are reacting, to not being able to remember the last time you experienced a feeling that belonged only to you. “You feel it, I feel it,” an anonymous INFJ wrote. I may not be quite ready to claim my feeling of and for others reaches that extent, but I share her decision to try and avoid encountering strong negative emotions (e.g. a news story about child molestation, a film where a family is torn apart, real-life conflict) because of how overwhelming it is — emotionally as well as physically in terms of headaches and stomach pain.

Managing Feelings

In INFJ Coach’s series of blog posts on “10 Steps to an Amazing INFJ Life,” part two is “Manage Those Pesky Emotions.” Her article is mainly about dealing with our own emotions when they surface, but the comments point out that this is only part of the problem. One commenter named Jennie wrote that she asks herself,

“Is this my emotion that I’m feeling, or is it someone else’s emotion?’ Many of us INFJs are emotional sponges for the emotions that other people are feeling. Our NF gives us a very high degree of empathy, but sometimes taking on other people’s emotions can be too much to handle.

The other side to this is what INFJ writer Cheryl Florus points out in Personality Junkie’s INFJ Strategies for Dealing with Emotions: Part I. Because an INFJ’s feeling is extroverted, we often have an easier time understanding the emotions of other people than our own emotions (for more on function stacks, see this post). We feel emotions strongly, but need to make an effort to learn how to experience and express them in a way that doesn’t seem overwhelming or uncontrolled. Often, writing down or talking about our emotions is a way to get them outside us so we can look at them more objectively (I keep a journal and talk to my closest family members). Sometimes, until I’ve done this, I’m not exactly sure what it is I’m feeling, let alone how it should be expressed and dealt with.

What about you? Are you an INFJ with experience feeling other people’s feelings (or a non-INFJ who does the same thing, because I’d love to hear from you)? Or are you someone who has never had this happen and thinks we’re crazy?